NWR - contact from the ex

Kamakanani · June 2011

Hi ladies. Quick backstory - I was lucky enough when I asked for the divorce to not have had kids w/ my ex. Then he left state before I could even serve papers. There's been no contact since, and the divorce was done via default, since he never responded on the papers that were served via mail.

It's been over a year since the divorce was final, almost two since I asked for a divorce. Of course, once I left him, he was removed from my FB friends, IM friends lists, etc.

In the past week, I've gotten 3 requests to be able to chat via aim. My email address hasn't changed, so I don't know why he hasn't emailed if he has a question or something for me. I have no idea what he wants and no reason to stay in contact with him.

Should I email him and ask wtf he wants, or just keep ignoring the requests? I'm wary of letting him back into my life, because I'm finally healing a lot of the wounds and growing past the emotional and mental abuse I suffered when I was with him.

mightyoakes · June 2011

ugh...I know the feeling.

Depends. If you say "go away" will he?

nmeirose · June 2011

I would ask yourself, what could you possibly gain from talking w him? If the answer is nothing, I would decline his invite for a chat.

Lisa50 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-contact-ex?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:96993453-ee5c-486f-90d4-c512e793d7f9Post:649d5606-2a00-495c-8e7b-1372b4ddbde7">NWR - contact from the ex</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies. Quick backstory - I was lucky enough when I asked for the divorce to not have had kids w/ my ex. Then he left state before I could even serve papers. There's been no contact since, and the divorce was done via default, since he never responded on the papers that were served via mail. It's been over a year since the divorce was final, almost two since I asked for a divorce. Of course, once I left him, he was removed from my FB friends, IM friends lists, etc. In the past week, I've gotten 3 requests to be able to chat via aim. My email address hasn't changed, so I don't know why he hasn't emailed if he has a question or something for me. I have no idea what he wants and no reason to stay in contact with him. Should I email him and ask wtf he wants, or just keep ignoring the requests? I'm wary of letting him back into my life, because I'm finally healing a lot of the wounds and growing past the <strong><font color="#0000ff">emotional and mental abuse I suffered when I was with him.
</font></strong>Posted by Kamakanani[/QUOTE]

Those words, alone, would keep me as far from the guy as humanly possible. I'd ignore the request. If he could not be grown up enough to deal with a no-contest divorce ... I do not see that any good would come from restarting communications. Just my $0.02.

MikesAngie · June 2011

I agree with Lisa - no reason to talk with him and really if he was abusive why bother now?

right1thistime · June 2011

If he really needs to contact you, he will find a suitable alternative that he has less control over, such as an email, or sending a letter to someone who can get it to you. Otherwise, he is trying to reassert himself in control, and you are wise to stay away. ~Donna

Kamakanani · June 2011

Thanks for the imput all. I have nothing to say to him, and he has no reason to be in my life anymore, so I will continue to ignore him. If he needs to get ahold of me (for some reason other than to try and mooch off me and my family, the way he did during our entire relationship), he knows how. If he's trying to mooch, he'll get blocked.

NWR - contact from the ex

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