"Mandatory donation" LOL

carrie3303 · September 2010

The church we are getting married in is not the church that we are members at. Therefore, we need to pay that church $250 "mandatory" donation. Done.
Now, the priest at that church will not be there. Our priest, from our home church in which we are members, is going there to do the service. The church is about 45 minutes away, and he will also be going to do the rehearsal.
My question is, do we also give a donation to our priest for his time? If so, does it go to him, or to our church in his honor? I don't want to ask him, because I feel uncomfortable asking him this... but I do think we should give him something. After all, he's the one giving his time, and we're paying the ceremony church 250 for really just providing the place, kwim?

What do you think?

[Deleted User] · September 2010

There have been threads on this before. Most will say that you should make a donation to your "home church" bc in most cases the priest cannot accept money. However, you could get him a gift card to a nice restaurant or a favorite store or a bottle of wine.

Theresa626 · September 2010

I'd give him a one hundred dollar check. Also, your mandatory donation was much cheaper than my mandatory donation.

KatieJL121 · September 2010

Most people in my area give priests money (it usually ranges anywhere from $50-200) and then the priest will put all or most of it toward his own parish. We gave our priest a $150 check and let him decide what to do with the money. He's the president of the university we graduated from and has his own parish in the chapel there. If you can't think of a gift then I think money is fine and still appropriate.

clearheavens · September 2010

I ditto people's suggestion that a monetary gift is appropriate.

carrie3303 · September 2010

Thank you!

hminer4 · September 2010

My manadatory donation is $2,000 since we are non-parishoners at the Martha's Vineyard church that we would like to be married at (which we were told "can be paid in installments haha). We are also brining our own priest from home but my question is should we offer to pay all his expenses since he will have to take the ferry over to the island and then may want to attend the receptions and stay overnight. I'm nervous to even ask even though I know he has travelled to MV to do a wedding before but we are not very active members of the parish (I go to mass once in awhile).

Calypso1977 · September 2010

you shoud absolutely give money to the priest who is marrying you.

mlhw NH · September 2010

We are giving a monatary donation to our church (they suggested $300-$500) and giving our priest a cash gift of $150.

Calypso1977 · September 2010

miner, i would absolutely offer to pay for your priests travel expenses. he may or may not take you up on it.

CoCo'sMommy · September 2010

Our mandatory donation was double that and we are members of the church. We are also required to tip the deacon or priest $100. so trust me it could be waaay more. Since your priest is doing it though I would highly recommend giving him a donation and paying his travel expense. It really isnt his fault that church is making you donate:(