Been Avoiding this like the Plague

bbyckes · May 2010

I just tried on my dress and while it fits, barely is the word. It's tight. ::cringe::

Last year I started working out, I joined a gym, I started eating right and I lost 38lbs in 4 months. It was amazing. I felt good. Pretty. Then my depression went into hyper-overdrive and I sought help. I started taking an anti-depressant and while my depression symptoms went away, so did the angst and anxiousness that was motivating my weight loss.

My 4 x's weekly gym activity slowly became 3, which became 2, which became non-existent. I used to post regularly on this board, but was so ashamed of what I had let happen (I've gained probably about 60% of the weight I lost back), I stopped posting altogether. I felt like a poseur.

So, I'm back, but not with questions like, "How can I lose 80lbs in 4 days?" or " I only want to eat grapefruit and drink water for the next 100 days. Is this okay?" No, I'm here because support in any endeavor is needed. I get married in the next 57 days. I want to feel beautiful - not just on that day, but in general.

I feel like I just walked into an AA meeting. But, Hi, my name is bbyckes and I need help losing weight.

Feels good getting out what I've held in for so long.

BreeBugg77 · May 2010

Hello bbyckes! Your post was very refreshing & honest. You said what I needed to say when I started my weight loss journey. I have also lost weight before, then gained it plus more back. It's definately frusterating.

I guess what worked for me was that I wanted to stop all the health problems. I know I have a long way to go, but already I can tell the difference. I keep telling myself that I want to have children some day, & being overweight is a big reason why I wouldn't be able to.

swim1011 · May 2010

bbyckes, I remember you! I was very inspired by your story when I was definitely having problems with my weight. I'm down 15 lbs from last year, and if I can do this, you can do it again too!

Are you still on the anti-depressants? I've heard one of their s/e is weight gain, and I don't know if that will affect weight loss or not, but you sure can keep on trying anyway. Truthfully, it was one of the reasons I was scared to try them myself- a depressed, overweight girl gaining more weight.. doesn't really help with the depression much, does it? :-/

Welcome back!

bbyckes · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_avoiding-this-like-plague?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:b7a26223-09cb-4bba-a64d-bfc4d87a826dPost:1b260641-166d-4dd6-812a-63502d4ddf3c">Re: Been Avoiding this like the Plague</a>:
[QUOTE]bbyckes, I remember you! :) <strong> Are you still on the anti-depressants?</strong> I've heard one of their s/e is weight gain, and I don't know if that will affect weight loss or not, but you sure can keep on trying anyway. <strong> Truthfully, it was one of the reasons I was scared to try them myself- a depressed, overweight girl gaining more weight.. doesn't really help with the depression much, does it?</strong> :-/ Welcome back!
Posted by swim1011[/QUOTE]

Hi Swim! I have stopped taking the anti-depressants recently, but am really fearful of a "relapse." I will probably go back on them when I speak to my doctor.

It's weird, when I was really low in my depression, all I could think about was how I wanted to feel normal again and was very conscious of my weight. But, when I started to feel "normal" all that went out the window. It's like you can't have both. But, I know it's possible, right? I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I have a friend who was suffering greatly from depression, was a bulimic and a binge eater. She went to get help, but she was so distraught about taking medication, because she was TERRIFIED that she would gain weight. Well, she decided to go on the meds and she has gained weight. But, her anxiety is managable and she hasn't binged or purged in over a year. That's a good thing, right? It's a vicious cycle, there should be a way to jump off this roller-coaster.

Thank you for the support. Oh my goodness do I need it!

jenb1205 · May 2010

Hmmm... this is a tough thread to read. I have my moments, like everyone, but I don't think I've ever felt anything compared to what some of you ladies have gone and are going through.

I think it's about finding a balance on or off pills. Maybe 4X a week was too many workouts to make it work long term. I think 2 times a week is infinitely better than not going to the gym at all. Finding something that is sustainable for you long term is the only solution. The PP who mentioned bootcamp was right on, even if you didn't have a buddy to go with, you'll meet people in the class who will hold you accountable. For me, if I have paid for a class, you better believe I will be there.

Also, we've talked about it recently on the board but I heard it again on the Today Show the other day- losing weight is about 20% exercise and 80% food. I don't think anyone mentioned food intake on this thread and if you are anything like me, there is always room to improve your diet.

Nebb · May 2010

Welcome back. Good luck getting back on track. You did it before, I know you can do it again.

bbyckes · May 2010

Jen, you are definitely right about food intake and yes, I've heard that as well about the 80/20% ratio.

My food habits went out the window long before my exercise went out the window. I wanted to have the food to make me feel better, ironically it made me feel worse. There was some accountability with individuals I met at the gym and developed "relationships" with them. So, when I stopped going, I felt like not only did I let myself down, I let them down. What is that?

I understand that the only person I am ultimately accountable to is myself, but damn, I feel so judged - even though no one probably is.

I'm working on it.

raynes · May 2010

::says with the group: Hi bbycakes.

Everyone else has already provdide some excellent advice. All I can really ad are the sage words of Elle Woods.

"Exercise gives you endophines, endorphines make you happy, and happy people just don't kill their husbands"

While I'm not suggesting you kill (or not kill?) your FI, I'm aiming for the thought that maybe exercising regularly might help with the depression. Get those happy endorphines going in your blood stream, give you a boost.

Good luck! We're all here for you.

msange727 · May 2010

ditto raynes. about 6 years ago i started falling into a pretty horrible lapse of seasonal depression, which of course has nothing on its year-round cousin, but still held its own in disrupting my life (it can be ridiculously gloomy during winter in PA). and the only thing that helped (i was terrified of taking pills or even asking the doc about it) was working out. and then i became an early bird, getting up at 5am to work out before my sister and i went to school. and it helped - i saw the sunrise each day, and the endorphins kicked in - depression gone, and some weight lost.

maybe try to serve two purposes - lift your mood and get back on track! and just like you did here, i'm sure you can reach out to your gym community for the same kind of support.

good luck! :]

bbyckes · May 2010

Thanks, Raynes! No, I'm not planning on killing FI lol.

Breathing a little easier now.

miguelhilary2010 · May 2010

Ditto raynes that working out should help with endorphins. Also try taking a Vitamin D supplement. It doesnt fight depression, but helps maintain a little balance in your head (my words, I'm not a doctor).

miguelhilary2010 · May 2010

And by the way... thank you for being so honest. Its refreshing. Good luck with your weight loss/healthy living journey!

FutureMsAlexander · May 2010

Welcome back and good luck!

keziah23 · May 2010

Hi bbyckes! I have been through the anti-depressent thing myself, I have been off of them totally for about 4 years now and 90% of the time I am able to handle myself and my emotions okay, however the past couple months with the wedding, being sick and some family issues going on I have been a wreck, well actually i have been a bit**, but I am workign really hard on that.
I too am an emotional eater so its been VERY hard trying to lose weight these past weeks.
When I first put on my dress I was so motivated, it fit but was snug, I worked out everyday and ate less....then it dwindled to nothing again.

I think what I am going to do is put my dress on at least once a week to keep myself motivated! My first fitting is June 9th!

best of luck!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

Hi! If it makes you feel better, I can't zip my dress up. I have 5 months to go. I'm working on it. Slowly, but surely, I'm getting there. Too slow for my liking sometimes, but I remember I'm in this for the long haul, not just the wedding dress.

Galvanwed · May 2010

This is the first time on this board and bbyckes, don't worry, you can do it. I have lost the weight a million times and always give in to temptation and have my junk food sessions and it starts again. Well, I ordered my dress during one of my low weight times and now it likes about 2 inches for the ziper to close!!! So here I go again!! Good luck to you and all of the ladies on here! We can do it!!

Codi-Bailey · May 2010

My fiance's nickname for me is babycakes.

You can definitely get back into it! You know what you need to do. Come here for support anytime! You will be beautiful on your wedding day no matter what.

anne.azano · May 2010

Keep a food journal. I've been doing that recently and I feel it's helped. because it makes you accountable. If you honestly write down every morsel that enters your mouth, it makes you think twice before you open it. Then I put smiley faces next to the healthy things I ate (fruit, veggies, etc) and angry faces next to the ice cream and chips. I feel a bit silly doing it, but, it just makes you aware.

I also allow myself one treat a day. My indulgences are lattes, mcdonalds soft serve, dark chocolate, and doritos. These are the things that tempt me. So, if I have a latte, that means I have to say no to the chocolate in the afternoon. If I feel like doritos, that's fine, but have a small pack and everything else has to be healthy. buy lots of fruit and keep it with you... make a pre-emptive strike with good stuff before you get so hungry that you indulge in bad stuff.

Go for walks all the time. My FI loves walking and we've gotten into the habit of going for a stroll after dinner. It makes you less likely to eat dessert and you're burning some calories before bed. It's also a nice quiet time to chat with each other.

My other recent rule is no seconds and smaller plates. So, eat dinner of course and have a healthy portion, but eat slowly, have a glass of water or green tea while you're eating and wait 10 minutes before you even think about reaching for seconds. By then, you probably won't be hungry any more and you can go for a nice walk.

I'm sure a lot of you would disagree with me, but personally I would avoid things like boot camp and restrictive diets. I've been watching a friend who really struggles with her weight go to these torturous boot camp sessions, lose weight and then pile it all back on because a boot camp lifestyle is not sustainable. She kills herself in these workout and it works, but then she quits because it sucks and the weight returns. Very few people can maintain those kind of workouts. They are a temporary solution, but not a lifetime one.

I would suggest yoga because it helps balance you out. You will feel better emotionally too which can help with the depression. Yoga has changed my life. I lost weight so naturally when I started doing yoga, without even thinking about it. It was like gradually I just didn't want the bad stuff in my body any more and I craved healthy things.

Good luck bbycakes, 57 days is enough time to turn it around! And if your dress just fits, a few small lifestyle changes will make the difference.

HisCB · May 2010

doing a lot of what anne said, i have lost about 4 lbs in a week and a half. and we went on a minivacation and didnt work out and only barely cared about what i ate for 4 days.

i agree with the bootcamp thought also. once in a while its a good kickstart but if its not easy enough to stick with you wont stick with it.

Been Avoiding this like the Plague

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