Curiosity and opinions wanted!

william+brittney · December 2011

Hey Ladies!
I think this may be something small to worry about later, but I recently had someone ask me about it and since I have wondered. My soon to be sis-in-law also bridesmaid asked me if I was going to have just the wedding party sit at the same table at the reception or have the wedding party plus their "dates/husband/wifes/gf/bf" sit with the wedding party. I have never seen it where it included the date. But I have heard of the dates feeling awkward not knowing anyone to sit with. I think it would look awkward to include the dates. idk. I was wondering what ya'll are doing? agreeements ? disagreements?

mbatzlaff · December 2011

I've seen both...and as a date I prefer to sit with my significant other. One wedding had dates sitting at the head table and the other had a sweetheart table with two round tables next to it for WP and dates/families. I'm planning to allow dates to sit with the WP, though I haven't decided if we'll do a big head table or something else.

LGM22 · December 2011

We're going to have a headtable and since my SIL is a bridesmaid and FI's BIL is a groomsmen it would mean my Brother and his sister would be at the headtable. Our BM and MOH are actually dating and so then there's my one BM and his one GM who would have nonfamilia dates - BUT - his one GM's wife may not be able to make it (Doctor in Residency) and my Sister (the other BM) won't have a date. SO, it will likely even out.

Sorry, that was confusing. Shorter version: We're having a long headtable and the wedding party will have their guests up there with us.

LGM22 · December 2011

Add on: I was a Bridesmaid at a wedding and sat at a round table with the Wedding Party at the reception. Not only was then BF, now FI bored and had no one he knew to sit with - *I* was bored and didn't really have fun @ the wedding party table.

mercy4 · December 2011

I think it's awkward not to include their dates. Would you want to go to a wedding WITH A DATE and not sit with them?

redsoxchick148927 · December 2011

We are doing a sweetheart table then putting our the groomsmen and their dates at a round table to one side of us and the bridesmaids and their dates to the otherside. I would feel bad seating dates with noone they know. Both the dates and the wedding party members probably wouldnt have as much fun.

colstj1 · December 2011

I will be doing just the wedding party and since I am doing assigned tables for everyone I will have a table set up near the head table with all of the WP's dates.

jennc82512 · December 2011

I plan on having them sit together, ive seen it done both ways but only experience were you add the dates at the same table, fortunately for us most of our bridal parties match up so we only have to add in one or two "dates" so its not to much of a big deal for us. But in reality its your wedding and you can have the tables set up to your liking

FLsweetpea1979 · December 2011

This has been a huge controversy on some of the other boards! I guess people tend to feel passionately about this. I am having round tables with my wedding party and their guests. Personally, if I was in a wedding and was told that I had to sit at a table separate from my fiance and that he could be with people he didn't know, I would be pretty unhappy throughout the entire evening. I'd be worrying about him and would feel bad that I couldn't share that occasion with him. I guess I wouldn't want anyone in my wedding party and/ or their guests to be uncomfortable or unhappy. I'd just want everyone to be comfortable and have a good time.

calindi · December 2011

I'm a big fan of letting people sit with their dates. It won't look silly - honestly, who sits there and watches the bridal table? That's just creepy, eating on display. However, if you want people to be able to see you and your FI (then DH) during speeches and such, then perhaps a sweetheart table is the best way to go (just you and him).

We're having a "sibling table". We're going to sit with our siblings and their significant others. Since we live literally thousands of miles apart, it's a nice opportunity to get to share a special moment with our siblings.

spazticrexe · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_curiosity-opinions-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:e90c0809-48a1-41c1-bf41-34589a7a6643Post:78f7bf7d-7c37-4665-b4f7-f92ff3281609">Re: Curiosity and opinions wanted!</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing a sweetheart table then putting our the groomsmen and their dates at a round table to one side of us and the bridesmaids and their dates to the otherside. I would feel bad seating dates with noone they know. Both the dates and the wedding party members probably wouldnt have as much fun.
Posted by redsoxchick148927[/QUOTE]

This. We're having a small wedding party as it is, so it makes even less sense to "break up a social unit" ...kind of makes you wonder where the wedding-party-head-table thing even started from since that's a big etiquette no-no in other aspects.

Lauren1102 · December 2011

We're having just the WP with us, but our WP is mostly family and the few friends we have are close to our family that their dates/husbands/wives will know either family or other friends and be comfortable with them. I'm assigning seats/tables and will make sure they're with people they know.

LibraShawn · December 2011

We will be at a sweetheart table.... I will put my wedding party close to me with their dates....But as someone stated its your wedding do as you please, I too have seen this done both ways.

bmetz34 · December 2011

@calindi- haha eating on display! That is creepy! I like your idea of the sibling table.

We're having a sweetheart table and then the BP will be dispersed throughout various other tables. My sisters and their husbands will probably be with some of our cousins. A lot of FI's groomsmen all grew up together so I'm sure they and their spouses will be at one table. I don't think we'll have any hard and fast rule that certain people have to be in certain places. Wherever it seems they'd be the most comfortable and that will probably be with people they know, including dates.

Ajoyd · December 2011

Personally I am really not a fan of the traditional head table, I never really have been. We are doing two or three family/WP tables but not really designating them as head tables or setting them apart from the rest of the guests. It is pretty easy for us since most of the WP is family, but for those who are not I plan to seat their spouse/date with them.

Another head table option that seems to have become more popular recently is the "Tuscan" head table, which is a full rectangle with people seated all the way around it. I think this option would allow more people to be seated at the head table and that way you could include WP dates.

i2012do · December 2011

We are having a sweet heart table. Thent wo family tables closest to us, thena WP table, for non-family WP

CallMeMrsChaos · December 2011

I never really cared for the idea of a head table, so we are just having a sweetheart table. Otherwise our WP will be seated in two tables on either side of the sweetheart table, and they will be able to sit with their dates. Other than one groomsman whose wife is the MOH, the others all have gf's that are fairly new to the group. I have in fact only met one of them this past turkey day when she was subjected to the fam and us! I could only imagine the horrible feeling of being stuck at a table alone like that. So they all get to be kept together,

StephBeanWed61502 · December 2011

Our bridal party doesn't really know each other that well, and do know other guests really well, so we felt like they'll have a lot more fun sitting with the friends they know instead of at a head table with us. We're having a sweetheart table, and dispersing the bridal party throughout the reception based on who they'd have the most fun sitting with.

sasha213sw · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_curiosity-opinions-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:e90c0809-48a1-41c1-bf41-34589a7a6643Post:78f7bf7d-7c37-4665-b4f7-f92ff3281609">Re: Curiosity and opinions wanted!</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing a sweetheart table then putting our the groomsmen and their dates at a round table to one side of us and the bridesmaids and their dates to the otherside. I would feel bad seating dates with noone they know. Both the dates and the wedding party members probably wouldnt have as much fun.
Posted by redsoxchick148927[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. FI and I figured that we would only be at the table for a brief period of time at the beginning of the reception. I would rather our bridal party be with their dates. Plus I have more bridesmaids then he does groomsmen so our head table would be off anyways. :)

whitneyf1 · December 2011

We're having a sweetheart table and then having the bridal party dispersed among tables with their significant others. All the weddings I have been in have been like this and it is so nice to be able to sit with FI.

gymbugmj2k · December 2011

we're doing a traditional head table with our 3 attendants on each side of us. The dates will be at a round table nearby. To be honest, I think it's laughable the amount of stress and arguments that happen about this topic...... Once the speeches and dinner are over, nobody sits in their original spot! So really, for about 40-60 minutes your date would be separated from you. I think that is pretty tolorable. Nobody ever died from making small talk for a half hour.

The only thing I can suggest for those who don't want or can't fit the dates at the head table, is to think of where to place them where they would feel comfortable, or have something in common with those around them. I was at an event where my FI had to sit elsewhere, and he introduced me to my seat neighbor and mentioned that we both liked the same hockey team, so we sat and talked for at least an hour! It was great, and I didn't mind being separated for dinner.

starryangelz72 · December 2011

I am in the same boat as colstj. I am not sure if it maybe a regional thing since that is how I have seen it done many times here. And I figured we really only sitting up there for maybe a half hour to 45 minutes during the speechs and then once we get up and go mingle, we figured our WP would be able to go mingle with their dates. We are probably going to put the dates at a table near the head table. As many PP have said, it's your wedding do it however you see fit.

JoshLovesJekka · December 2011

We're doing a modified sweetheart table. Our parents will be sitting with us and the WP will be split to our right and left.

jmp2011 · December 2011

We are planning to do a "head table" in the center of the room, where the wedding party's dates can sit with all of us. I've seen and been part of both ways. My date and I had a much better time when we were together, so I think everyone else would too. Also, we are from different states, so our families don't really know each other and we want to make it as comfortable for everyone as possible. Plus, we don't want a "sweetheart table" because we want to be with the people most important to us (the wedding party) and don't want to feel "on display" the entire night (gotta steal some moments for ourselves).

owengirl996 · December 2011

Ugh this question comes up to me frequently as well! I'm not 100% sure yet, but I'm thinking head table with WP only. My cousin just did this in October, and it was fine, IMO. We only sat there to eat, then most people were up and about anyway.

On my side, I will have my sister (who I highly doubt will have a date lol) and my cousin, but her hubby will be on FI's side. And my two best friends, but I'm sitting their hubbys with the BMs' parents. As for FI's side...his BM is a cousin so his wife and daughter will sit with FI's parents, and the other two GM will more than likely not have dates, since they will be traveling 900 miles for the wedding! If they do, we'll figure it out then!

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