Is it my turn for dress doubts?

katanne9 · May 2010

Because I feel like it is.

Jeana, didn't you go through this too a few months ago?

My biggest problem is I'm not one of those "omg this is THE dress" girls. I tried on probably 70 dresses, and there were tons I loved, but didn't feel like it was the "one". And I love my dress! But I don't get all squealy over it.

I told that to FI while we were driving home yesterday, and he said that made him sad and he wants me to feel like it's the dress I've been looking forward to forever. And I love it, but I don't feel quite that way.

I know dress doubting is pretty common. Mehh.

notquiteblushing · May 2010

I think it's common. I haven't even seen my dress since November, except in photos where they laced it up wrong and my boobs were popping out.

I'm a little nervous to try it on again (next weekend!!!) but I also don't believe in there being one perfect dress for every bride.

hetshup · May 2010

I never got a "squee" I'm going to be a bride feeling. I didn't think much about it till this weekend when I was watching say yes to the dress. I think some people get very emotional and some don't. The good news is that you spent so little that you could get a new dress. When did you try on your dress? At the end of 70 or in the middle. If it was in the middle and you came back to it, then I think it's right. If it was at the end, did you get tired and just say, all right?

katanne9 · May 2010

I tried it on in the middle.

There were 2 dresses that were in the running for a while - and I loved them, but I didn't feel like a bride. Then in the middle I got and bought this one. And I still had 3 more appts that day, so I went. The last dress I tried on was my "dream dress" that I thought I would feel "squealish" in, and it was nice, but I didn't squeal. I don't know if that was because I already bought the other one. And comparing the 2, one was $99 and the other was $800 and heavy and the squeal factor was enough to make up the difference....?

noelle24 · May 2010

I dont' think I've ever seen your dress... hmm... now I'm curious.

But I think it's totally normal to have dress doubts. I wouldn't stress over it.

loopy82 · May 2010

I can completely sympathize over dress doubts. I think part of the reason why I got the first dress is becuase it was during a sample sale so it was 50% off and I was just anxious to find a dress already. Shortly after I got it I started having serious doubts. I went to a few wedding fairs and I kept staring longingly at all the dresses there. I found out a bridal shop close to be was having a big sale, so I went. I bought the second dress. I am planning on wearing both, as the second one is really heavy and I don't want to dance in it all night. I love the first one I bought a lot more after having bought the second one. That may not make sense, but that is what happened.

You do still have time to get a different dress if you aren't in love with the one you have.

**Mutley** · May 2010

I think that some get the squee-factor and some don't. I don't think it has anything to do with 'the one.' I do think that you find the dress that is not only right for you, but right for the whole vibe of your wedding as well.

I loved so many of the dresses I tried on. There was 1 that I adored just as much as the one I got. It just wasn't right for our Catholic ceremony and farm reception. It would have been perfect for a more modern or formal wedding. There was another one that would have been great if our reception wasn't on a farm.

I will say that based on pictures, you adore your dress. The smile that you have in that dress is stunning. You are positively glowing. Pictures do not lie.

katanne9 · May 2010

I know I love my dress. I do.

And even if I was to get a different dress, I have no idea what I would want instead. I mean, I tried on 69 other dresses and it didn't do the trick.

I have my first fitting this weekend, so I'm hoping that will help alleviate my concerns. Maybe if I can finally walk in the thing I can see myself in it better.

loopy82 · May 2010

Hopefully the fitting will do the trick and alleviate all your concerns about your dress. Is there a certain aspect of the dress that is making you unsure? Or something you wished that it had?

katanne9 · May 2010

Well, I was going to get a short dress. I wanted a short dress with a full skirt.

I got a long sheath instead. They have the same feel I was going for, but the logistics are opposite.

**Mutley** · May 2010

Are you still on the look out for a short dress?

loopy82 · May 2010

Ok, that makes sense. I remember the style you posted when you were thinking of gettng a second dress. Have you decided against that? Now that proms are done I have found that a lot of stores have dresses on clearance. Maybe somewhere would have a white dress with a full skirt that you could wear for the reception.

katanne9 · May 2010

Yes, I'm still looking. Much harder than I would have thought.

I have one girl I've been emailing back and forth via Craigslist about a dress in Chicago. I'm mulling it over right now. I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to wear a different dress for $100/hour.

jeanacorina · May 2010

I didn't get the "squeal" feeling at all. I tried on my dress, I really liked it. I felt good in it, and no other dress I tried lived up to it.

But, I do get dress doubts. Even after my bridal pics (which looked great), I feel like the dress is the wrong size and doesn't fit the way the sample did. I really sort of feel like it's just a dress, and not MY dress.

Maybe when you get yours fitted you'll feel better. Personally, I just try not to think about it too much. I don't hate it or anything. It's a nice dress. I just wish I had a better consultant who made me feel more confident about the whole thing instead of screwing everything up and causing me to feel unsure about everything that involves this dress.

loopy82 · May 2010

I don't know exactly what you are looking for, but here a few I found on e-bay.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-1950s-White-Strapless-Prom-Dress-Satin-/300426553305?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item45f2d167d9

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-50s-White-Linen-Circle-Skirt-Sun-Dress-M-/150443903034?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item230727c83a

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vtg-50s-White-Cotton-SHELF-BUST-Wedding-Party-Dress-S-M-/230471602260?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item35a92d9054

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vtg-50s-White-EYELET-LACE-Prom-Party-Wedding-Dress-XS-/230471606270?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item35a92d9ffe

**Mutley** · May 2010

I think that a big part of you is still wishing you got a short dress, so it is hard to be content with your current dress. Maybe finding a shorter dress for some of your reception will help you love your 1st dress more. (Like Loopy!)

I never saw myself as a two dress bride. However, I would not have changed it for anything. I love both of my dresses equally but for different reasons.

hetshup · May 2010

Could you have one made? I'm serious, a short full dress is not hard to make, you will likely need straps though, the boning can be killer. I get the impression (always have) that you love your dress, but want something maybe... more fun? for the reception.

katanne9 · May 2010

Mutley, I think you hit the nail on the head. I was 100% wanting to get a short dress. I had decided it while I was working at the bridal magazine 2 years before we got engaged (I promised I wasn't bsc - it's hard to not appear bsc when weddings were your job description). And then I tried on all the short dresses, and I didn't really feel like a bride. So I proceeded to try on 70 dresses, and found one in which I DID feel like a bride and I loved! Yet, now, I still miss the idea of a short dress although I love my dress and feel bride-y in.

Loopy - thanks for the links! I love the eyelet one. My mom wore an eyelet wedding dress, so that could be a fun detail.

**Mutley** · May 2010

Oh, I just looked at Loopy's links. The eyelet one is so you and your wedding.

loopy82 · May 2010

Ok last one.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vtg-50s-WHITE-LACE-Chiffon-WEDDING-Party-Prom-Dress-S-/170486791755?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item27b1cdfe4b

http://cgi.ebay.com/50s-SHELF-BUST-chiffon-TULLE-cocktail-PARTY-dress-PROM-/270574896613?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item3eff8545e5

loopy82 · May 2010

You're welcome. Glad I could help. I get quite bored here at work, so it gave me something to do.

hetshup · May 2010

Tk keeps eating my long posts. It’s annoying. Anyway, sometimes it’s really hard to reconcile what you’ve wanted and what is. No one grows up and says well *I* am going to wear such and such to my prom, but we are expected to dream about what we’ll wear to our wedding. And when that time comes the reality and the desires do not really mesh. i.e. I wanted a dress with buttons all the way down the back, I tried one on, and buttons hurt to sit on. So there you go. That being said, I think that the first one on Loopy’s last post is a total winner, I bet scoops look fabulous on you.

katanne9 · May 2010

You guys are the best. I feel a lot better.

I am excited to have my fitting next week. And when I figure out my veil (YES, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.) I'll have a better picture of everything.

I think right now I just don't have a dress that fits, I have no veil, I can't see my hair on me, etc etc etc - I am freaking out a little since the number in my ticker says "TWO MONTHS".

And why, in the name of all that is holy, I don't have my veil still figured out (have I not made 100 posts about this?) is beyond me.

And I like that scoop neck too... hmmm....

oceana919 · May 2010

Don't worry about not having a "squee" moment... I didn't. I was trying on a bunch of dresses, not really feeling good about the process (didn't like the way any of them looked on me), and I when I stepped out in my dress, it was more of a ::sigh:: moment. All the sudden, I just relaxed, all the apprehensive feelings about dresses and my weight and etc went away...I felt more contented that I did excited. I loved the dress, don't get me wrong, but it was more of a "ok, now I feel beautiful " rather than an "omg omg omg it's THE DRESS! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!" moment.

I'm having a bit of mama drama/dress doubt myself...my mom calls me up the other day and asks me about the cake we want and we start getting into a debate of sorts (I like the cake, think it's pretty and subtle; she thinks it looks like a birthday cake and won't go with the elegant wedding we're planning, etc.). When I say that I don't necessarily agree with her, she starts saying how she doesn't want to tell me her opinions because she doesn't want to make me mad and she'll just keep them to herself (mind you, I'm not upset by her opinion - I just don't necessarily agree with it). I tell her how I want and appreciate her opinion, and she goes off, going "I've barely given you my opinion. I haven't said one word about your venue, your dress..." Waiittttt....what about my dress? I ask her what she's talking about and she ignores the question and moves on.

Silly, yes. I understand that a lot of her comments come from the fact that she's upset that she can't be here with me during most of the planning process. I know I'm probably being uber sensitive about it, but now all I keep thinking is, "why doesn't my mom like my dress?" Grrrrrrr.

paintgirl · May 2010

It is TOTALLY worth $100 an hour to have a second dress you love. It is not worth (in my opinion) $1000 an hour, but a few hundred bucks? Heck yeah. You only get to do this one in your life. Go for it.

- Paintgirl the enabler

tafft1 · May 2010

I agree with Paint actually! And I think its pretty damn normal to have doubts , I mean it is the wedding dress , the dress you are supposed to wear one day and once ( everyhting willing) and you should love it. This dosen't mean you have to have that "squee" moment - everyone is different. I am a very emotionally charged person so I think I may have that moment but as I start shopping next month for one , I remind myself that it may not happen and that is ok! As long as you feel happy and beautiful in what you chose I think that's what matters.

I think its great your FI wants you to be 100% sure and happy and from at least watching way too much of Say Yes to the Dress , people seem more confident after the actual fittings. I hope you do too and find whatever makes you happy.

dwest2201 · May 2010

I know I'm late on this one but my opinion is this....

If FI supports you in the quest for another dress go for it. Look high and low and then if you haven't found a short one that you love you'll at least be able to get married in your one dress knowing that its the only one out of many, many that you loved and that maybe you just aren't the Squeee type!

Good Luck Kat!

Is it my turn for dress doubts?

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