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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would you send this invite?

We have one invitation that does not have an address. It's a friend of FI's family and he really wants him there. However, he has not gotten me this person's address. We mailed our invites a month ago and our RSVP date is in 3 and a half weeks. Every time I say I need the address, FI says "oh yeah, I need to do that!" and never gets it.
Would you mail an invite a month out from you wedding? Would you feel like a second-rate guest if you got an invite 3 weeks before the RSVP date? I want to take these people off the guest list, but FI keeps insisting that he'll get the address.
PS, sorry to post and run, but I've got to go to work. TIA!
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Re: Would you send this invite?

  • I'd send it, but I'd also call the recipient and let him know it was coming.

    Better to recieve a late invitation and a sheepish apology than be excluded altogether, imo.
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  • I'd probably still invite them if it was important to my FI.  FI kept texting his one friend to try to get his address but didn't hear anything back - he found out 3 weeks before the wedding that he had the friend's phone # wrong from when he switched phones.  He ended up just inviting the friend verbally.
  • Do you know what town they are in?  Have you tried www.whitepages.com? I'd just get address ASAP and mail it out.
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    Kate ~ Mommy to Matthew 3/29/07 & Kylie 12/30/08 & Chase 3/31/11
  • I have the same problem. FI doesn't have addresses for two of his friends (one is a GM!) and we sent our invites out a while ago, our RSVP date is week after next. I'll still send the invites if he ever gets the addresses, since they both know they are invited and everything.
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  • I would send it. Better for him to get it than to not be invited because FI didn't get the address.

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  • I'd find a way.  Whitepages, Facebook, something. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Try your auditors office - you can look up their address by name if they own a home. 

    Or, just give FI the invitation and tell him to deal with it since he can't seem to get the address for you. 
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2010
    I'd hand it to your FH and tell him that if he gets the address, he should go ahead and send it. If not, of course he won't. But let him know that either way you're done with it -- it's now his responsibility to send it or not.

    Why should you have to keep hounding him for an address for one of his friends? Put it back in his hands and let him deal with the consequences either way.

    ETA: Cross-posted wtih Stack, who had the same idea :-) It really should not be your problem any more.
  • edited April 2010

    Yeah go ahead and send it whenever you can.  Next time you're with your FI, just ask him to call right then.  I did the same thing for my FI when he couldn't remember to get a couple addresses for our STDs.

    Edit:  I like Stack's answer better.  Let him deal with getting it/sending it or not.

  • I have tracked down FIs friends on facebook to get addresses.... we are also waiting on one more from him... Ill be sending him invite because FI wants him there even if it is really close to the date.... at least he'll be invited.

    Do what YOU can to get the address if your FI isnt doing it.
  • I think it goes back in to FI's hands.  Give him an invitaiton already to go except for the recipient's name and address on the outside envelope. If he doesn't take care of it, his buddy doesn't get invited. If it is really important to  him, he'll find 2 minutes to take care of it.


  • Yes, I would send the invite.  If it was less than 3-4 weeks notice, I'd give an explanation.  Not all invitations to all wedding go out months in advance. 

    Remind FI again, and have him contact the friend right then, or give you his contact information.  Surely he has a phone number or e-mail?
  • Send the invite once FI gets the address. For the record, I gave FI a list of people's addresses to get and ended up getting EVERY single one myself. Where there is a will, there is a way.
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