Is there a "Rule" to pick a wedding site when family lives different states?

Re: Is there a "Rule" to pick a wedding site when family lives different states?

• MikiSJT

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-there-a-rule-to-pick-a-wedding-site-when-family-lives-different-states?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e510780-ef18-4d27-b798-c02a88d380a7Post:2d640410-d111-424f-ab9d-dc11be443cbe">Is there a "Rule" to pick a wedding site when family lives different states?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am starting to plan our wedding and I am torn apart when it comes to choosing a site. <strong>We are already married but never got to have a "wedding" to share with our families</strong>. We would like to have a beach destination wedding but my family lives in Florida and his family lives in California. I am originally from Dominican Republic and we have been there many times so we would love to have our celebration / honeymoon there but I am still because we both love it and is also budget friendly but it would be more costly for his family to attend from California. Help!! I don't want it to be unfair for any member of our family...how do we do this while also getting what we want.
  Posted by nady9[/QUOTE]
  
  Congratulations you are married! If you and your husband want to do a vow renewal, as you already had your wedding, you two should figure out the place you would like to go and plan for a trip there. You can invite both your and his families to come and witness a vow renewal but no matter where you plan to go someone will have to spend to travel and you both need to be prepared that some people just may not be able to afford to come. It is not unfair to anyone to choose the location that both you and your husband want because an invitation is just that, an invitation and not a summons.
  
  Also, if you are worried about the cost of travel expenses for any specific family members you can offer to help if that is in your budget.
   

  Report0 Reply
• MikiSJT

  

  April 2012

  Another option you have if you want to celebrate your marriage with your families is to throw two parties, one in California and one in Florida, that way nobody but the two of you would need to travel if that would be easier. You can have a DJ, cake, food, dancing and throw an awesome party in both locations to celebrate with your families but leave out the cake cutting, tosses, first dances, the big white dress as it would just be a party not a wedding reception.

  Report0 Reply
• mica178 member

  

  April 2012

  There's no rule about wedding (or in your case, vow renewal) location.  If you are  very concerned, explain the situation to the people closest to you and figure out who can and will travel, then use that information to decide if you want your renewal in CA or FL or DR.
  
  Be aware that some family members that would travel across the country for a wedding might not feel so strongly about doing so for a vow renewal.

  **Bio**

  Report0 Reply
• rebarobert2012

  

  April 2012

  There is no rule for the bride and groom picking a location for their wedding.
  
  However, this is not a wedding since you are already legally married.  It is a vow renewal.

  Report0 Reply
• NOLAbridealmost member

  

  April 2012

  I think a destination beach vow renewal would be incredibly lovely.  Because it's not a wedding (and thus, people are less likely to come), I'd approach it more like you would when planning a big family reunion trip rather than a wedding.  I'd get together with your VIPs and try to find a date and location that everyone would be excited about going to for vacation.   Then plan your vow renewal ceremony based on the location and date that everyone decides on as a group.  I just think you're less likely to get attendees if you and your H just pick a date and place that works for the two of you and hope for the best.

  
  Fatty Blog

  Report0 Reply
• hoffse member

  

  April 2012

  There's no rule about vow renewal locations.  That said, I'd plan it in a place where I could have some oversight, but thats just me.

  

  Report0 Reply
• AroundTheBlock member

  

  April 2012

  Where are you and your husband going to be living? The traditional rule was that a bride gets married in HER home-town where her family live; because it was assumed that she would go from therer to live permanently in HIS hometown near his family. That way, her family had a last chance to celebrate with her and also say good-bye. Any of his family who couldn't make it to the celebration were comforted by knowing that they would still be able to socialize with the couple on a day-to-day basis when they returned from their honeymoon.
  
  Nowadays, both parties may be moving away from home; but if I read your profile rightly, you are actually living in Florida near your family. Is that right? If so, the fair thing to do would be to have your ceremony in or near California, and if any of your family cannot make it, invite them over to dinner or go out with them when you are settled down in Florida.

  Report0 Reply