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wedding compromise

gatineaubridegatineaubride member
10 Comments
in African American Weddings
Ladies, we all know and we've heard  from all married couples that marriage is about compromise. Actually, compromise even starts before you are even married! Planning for a wedding is a good test as we all have to compromise one way or other because Fi and us don't always agree on all decisions. So Ladies, what are the compromises that you are doing that are related to wedding planning?
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Re: wedding compromise

  • gatineaubridegatineaubride member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    -I compromise on the number of guests. I would have been happy with 150 but FI wanted 250 guest so we are having 200 guests!
    -Fi wants an african wedding celebration on top of the normal, I agree to that but I told him that I don't want something too formal
    -Fi wants a bridal party but I don't; still have to come to an agreement.

    We are still in the early process so I am sure that more compromises will have to be made. which compromises are you making?
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  • OFFOFF
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wanted a string quartet for the ceremony the FI wanted a jazz trio.  I caved.

    We also compromised on the cake he picked all the flavors and I got to pick the design. 
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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    - FI wanted smooth jazz in the background for our cocktail hour and I wanted neo-soul.  I compromised on that, so smooth jazz it is.

    - FI didn't want french toast stuffed with raspberries and cream cheese for our day-after brunch, but I did (he doesn't eat/drink anything dairy).  We both are happy now b/c FI was able to get our caterer to create another non-dairy french toast option for our brunch at no cost.

    - FI wanted five BMs/GMs and I really only had three friends I wanted as BMs.  We added in his sister to make four BMs, and he had to cut one of his GMs so we'd each have four.  He did a good job of compromising on that one, b/c I know how hard it was for him to figure out who to cut.  

    I think that's about it, our taste is similar on the rest of the wedding decisions so we didn't have to compromise that often.  
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  • TINAMMTINAMM member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    our only compromise was the budget of what I wanted to spend and what he wanted to spend and we met just in the middle. I am almost 14 years everyones senior being married and yes you WILL have to compromise you both cannot have your way. MANY of marriages can't withstand having to compromise. You can not be selfish even though sometime you may want to. You give up I for WE.
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  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI sucks at compromising.  He said, "the whole damn wedding is a compromise", 'cause he didn't want to have it, he just wants to go to the justice of the peace, but I want a wedding.  But I'm not really sure how we compromised, we're just having it whether he likes it or not.  I guess I'm the one that sucks at compromising.  We compromise on other stuff like furniture for the house, it's a combination of both of our tastes, modern traditional (he's modern, I'm traditional) so when you look at our house you see both, and I think it still looks cool.  I just asked FI about it, and he said that in order for there to be a compromise there has to be a budding of heads and disagreement on issues and for the most part, so far, we've agreed on everything except for the wedding.  I guess that's right.  So no compromising on the wedding planning front, 'cause he's actively rebelling against the wedding.
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  • arrichardarrichard
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tam Tam
    My fi is kind of the same way, he didnt feel the need to have a wedding at all, the thinks it is a total waste of money. (We have been together for over 12yrs, we have a 11yr old and a 8 yr old)  so he said we should just go to the justice of peace.. I  think just because we have been together doesnt mean that I dont deserve nor want a real wedding that I have always dreamed of. So i quess we have compromised....
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  • NeColeMonetNeColeMonet
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow..I guess Im just a spoiled brat.  I wanted a photo booth at the wedding (thought it would be fun for the guests) he suggested we just put disposable cameras on the tables.  I'm getting my photobooth.  I wanted the $2000 famous photographer, he wanted the cheaper photographer with less experience.  We're getting the photographer I wanted.  (Anyone getting married in the So Cal area check her out: Melissa McClure photography).  Also..wow..I really am a spoiled brat..he wanted to go out of the country for our honeymoon, I wanted to stay in country and do something simple..so we're going to Nappa Valley.  Next year on our anniversary we'll go somewhere more "exotic".  I am a brat.  I need to go REPENT. LOL. 
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