What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?

LizzyRB · June 2012

A coworker of mine told me that he and his fiance did not register anywhere because they assumed people would know that means they do not want any gifts (I just thought it meant they preferred cash, oops).

My boss wants to buy this coworker a gift from the group but we aren't sure what to buy him? We don't want to give him cash, they aren't registered, don't want gifts... Boss INSISTS we get him a gift despite his requests not to. Would you go out on a limb and guess what they would like? Do you get a gift card to a store you guess they will like? Kind of at a loss what a good group gift would be in this case.

Katelyn89 · June 2012

If they really want no gifts I might give a donation to a charity in their name. If you insist on giving them a gift, I would probably just do a gift card or cash.

tcjames · June 2012

I'm just going to jump out the window & say this couple does want cash, but since it looks thats not an option I say go GC route. Please AVOID gift cards to "destination" stores. Just think about the GC you got to store you rarely frequent. I suggest a doing a visa/MC gift card..It's less aggravation for the group & they can use it anywhere, even on their HM....HTH

ETA: This can be done seperately or as a group or both

Gustafson28 · June 2012

Gifts to charity are a nice thought but what if the bride and groom are really against the organization? Being extreme here but what if you gave to vegan rights and their grandparents were cattle farmers...? I dunno.. I've heard of some people getting a little upset about favours that were donations to a charity. Doesn't bother me but I just thought I should bring it up again

I'm with tc that a visa/mc card would be awesome. Can use it anywhere and still feels like you are putting thought into it

ajmom2two · June 2012

I agree that maybe they do want cash but dont want to say that to people bc it sounds a bit rude. I would suggest getting them a Visa/Mastercard gift card since they can use it for anything. If they really dont want it they can use it to make a donation to a charity even of give it to a charitable organization.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

I will go against the grain on the Visa/MC gift card. There are activation fees on them and there are deductions taken off each month for lack of use. I found that out the hard way and essentially threw away a $50 gift.

If the couple is insisting no gifts (and they never said we didn't register but we are saving for a house, new furniture, hint towards cash), then I would honor their request. Maybe they are decluttering. ;-)

ETA: although I do like the experience or restaurant nights ideas =-)

Katelyn89 · June 2012

If this couple really wants cash, they are being really difficult. There are ways you insinuate that you want cash... Small registry, saying " we have pretty much everything we need for the house". They are actually saying they don't want gifts, so I think a charitable donation or VISA is more than generous.

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

What about a wine of the month gift (assuming they like wine)?

It's a good group gift. It's a bottle (or two) of wine that is delivered to their home every month. It hardly takes up room and will be gone before it's a problem. It's thoughtful without being tacky.

We get things like this for my grandmother for Christmas. We get her a bouquet of the month so she always has fresh flowers but doesn't need to store any more junk.

Katelyn89 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:bb34f75e-ac31-4f9c-8427-47561559648d">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about a wine of the month gift (assuming they like wine)? It's a good group gift. It's a bottle (or two) of wine that is delivered to their home every month. It hardly takes up room and will be gone before it's a problem. It's thoughtful without being tacky. We get things like this for my grandmother for Christmas. We get her a bouquet of the month so she always has fresh flowers but doesn't need to store any more junk.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I like this idea.

montanabounding · June 2012

I agree going against the VISA gift for the activation fee reason, etc.

If it were me, I'd go with a Target giftcard (unless they have expensive taste, in which case - no idea). Assuming that Target is in your area, of course. They have a little of everything.

ETA: Unless you just want to give them cash or a money order.

Meegles4 · June 2012

I would not do a charity. I also wouldn't do cash if this is a group office gift, because I'd find it weird to get a bunch of cash as a group gift. If they were giving individually, that's one thing, but a group gift? I dunno, just not used to the idea.

I like the idea of a wine/beer of the month or some other "experience". What about a few gift cards to some good restaurants in the area? Then they have some post-wedding date nights already covered. You're essentially spending what you would on one gift card to BBB or a visa/MC, but personalizing it a little bit.

If all else fails, I think a Visa/MC gift card is fine.

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:e1fb0b5a-dca2-48d7-a390-e0a2b6b0de4b">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about a few gift cards to some good restaurants in the area? Then they have some post-wedding date nights already covered. You're essentially spending what you would on one gift card to BBB or a visa/MC, but personalizing it a little bit.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

Oh, I like this idea, too!!

Katelyn89 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:9f93fb88-03bd-42a8-aaf6-c562a57b649a">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts? : Yes. To me this insinuates they want cash. I don't think they are being difficult..
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I don't know, I think I would just take it as they don't want gifts, but that's jet me.

Katelyn89 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:0a48f392-e8b6-4c06-a012-dd03e1114403">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts? : So you mean they don't want physical gifts OR cash? To me it just means no physical gifts, yes cash.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

I guess I see Cash as a "gift", but I see where you are coming from now.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:8bbb9695-6677-4dd3-911b-1768cbaec7f7">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]If this couple really wants cash, they are being really difficult. There are ways you insinuate that you want cash... Small registry, saying " we have pretty much everything we need for the house". They are actually saying they don't want gifts, so I think a charitable donation or VISA is more than generous.
Posted by Katelyn89[/QUOTE]
Dude, they are not being difficult. When a couple doesn't want gifts, but would maybe want cash, this is exactly the advice that's given around here. Say you don't want gifts and people will get the hint. You're not too bright, are you?

Katelyn89 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:ade320ab-6cb0-44ed-8bbe-b323a7f63ac9">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts? : Dude, they are not being difficult. When a couple doesn't want gifts, but would maybe want cash, this is exactly the advice that's given around here. Say you don't want gifts and people will get the hint. You're not too bright, are you?
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

That was really uncalled for. I just said I get where she was coming from.

SEWF · June 2012

DO NOT do a Visa gift card. Like PP said, there are activation fees, they take money off of it every month, and they don't work at every store (like mine). I believe you also need to keep a minimum on the card in order to be able to use it.

I like the "experience" gift. Wine club, beer club, movie passes, museum tickets. Something they can enjoy together.

pkontk · June 2012

I like the restaurant gift card idea. I did this for my cousin - my mom didn't think they had a registry, and I just feel funny giving a check, so I found a restaurant in their area (my mother helped me since she knows where that side of the family likes to eat) and had it sent directly to them. I had to pay the restaurant a fee, but I know they'll use it.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:0727b532-7bf5-463a-9551-e922e399cf86">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts? : That was really uncalled for.
Posted by Katelyn89[/QUOTE]
whaaaa

TaraKeeley · June 2012

Gift card to a store/restaurant you know they like, or a visa/amex giftcard... those work pretty much like cash.

amys325 · June 2012

Sometimes when a B&G say they want no gifts, they mean no gifts and no cash. They just want nothing.

If you really want to give them something, a restaurant gift card or movie gift cards are nice. Something to do together.

LizzyRB · June 2012

I just did a google search for the couple and their registry came up at William Sonoma! Now I am really contused. Maybe we will get them something from that.

lv2011 · June 2012

FI and I are actually not registering and we're saying "please, no gifts", because we actually, truly, DO NOT WANT GIFTS. That includes gift cards, cash/ checks, or any variation. Please do not assume that their (not necessarily OP's couple, but anyone) lack of registry means they want cash. That is not always the case. We will be happy just to have the pleasure of our guests company on our day. That really is gift enough. Not saying everyone who does that means it the same way, but you shouldn't assume they mean anything other than what they say. Get them a heart-felt card if you feel you must give something.

kikirst33 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:05583141-788a-4141-a249-80ecac0b9323">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sometimes when a B&G say they want no gifts, they mean no gifts and no cash. They just want nothing. If you really want to give them something, a restaurant gift card or movie gift cards are nice. Something to do together.
Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]

This.

My FI and I have registered for nothing and we really want NOTHING! We don't want or expect cash, gifts or anything. We are well established, don't need any "upgrades" and our not registering is in no way asking for cash. I don't understand why others think that not registering is asking for cash.

If this couple likes to do things together then a gift card that they can use together is very thoughtful but not necessary. If there is a local charity that you know they support a gift in their name would also be nice.

kikirst33 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:08e914ad-8634-4b06-bae2-c2e5a3533e9b">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I are actually not registering and we're saying "please, no gifts", because we actually, truly, DO NOT WANT GIFTS. ..... Get them a heart-felt card if you feel you must give something.
Posted by lv2011[/QUOTE]

HORRAH! Someone that sounds exactly like my FI and I. I agree with this 100%.

michellesean · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-get-the-couple-who-asked-for-no-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c223061c-599e-41ac-bc7b-074def276d89Post:c91294fb-b9c2-4404-86c4-c06234fd919d">Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just did a google search for the couple and their registry came up at William Sonoma! Now I am really contused. Maybe we will get them something from that.
Posted by LizzyRB[/QUOTE]

Yeah just do WS. I still like the wine of the month idea or the restaurant idea though. It's original and I think they would love it.

What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?

Re: What to get the couple who asked for no gifts?

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