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Did I do something wrong?

therockisblinding05therockisblinding05
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
in Florida-Central Florida
FMIL told me last night that she and her FDIL are throwing me another shower "with adults this time"(which I'm pretty sure all my friends are adults, but whatev) because she was annoyed that none of her best friends got invited to the shower (WHICH IS TODAY! WHOO HOO!) ...my mom even commented that there were people she wishes were invited, but is ok with them not being there. Here's the deal: BMs are almost all in undergrad or grad school and the two that are married w/ full times jobs just bought houses...I was asked to keep the guest list to 30 so I had to cut my prelim. list pretty much in half to respect their budgets. Plus, FI and I met because our families have been at the same church for decades so I invited people from there that both mom and FMIL would be able to socialize with. FMIL got all her best friends invited to e-party, so what's wrong w/ me having my best friends at the shower? I don't think it's fair to expect me to cut out my friends on my limited guest list for hers, at a shower given for me- if it was a birthday party being thrown for me, no one would complain about their friends not being there, right? Why is this different? Did I mess up?

Moreover, I don't have time (or gas money) to come back to Orlando for another shower just so she can have a party w/ her friends. Plus, I don't really want to spend a rare free weekend surrounded by a bunch of ladies I barely know, they are all very nice but, no thanks- they are all too much like FMIL. She's one of those people who thinks her BFFs need to be at everything, and it's getting on my nerves. Am I wrong about something? Maybe I should have asked for who they both wanted there? I feel bad but I just didn't know- I've kind of never been a bride before! :)
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Re: Did I do something wrong?

  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You didn't do anything wrong in my opinion by not inviting her friends to your shower. However, you will be very rude if you refuse to go to a second shower she will throw. Suck it up and go and tell her how grateful you are for throwing you  a second shower. Hey, at least you get more gifts.  People usualyl give a  gift for the bridal shower and for the wedding.  I think that they both understand that your bridesmaids had budget limitations and could not invite everyone they wanted.  That's why instead of complaining, being bitchy to you and telling you you HAD to invite their friends, they just decided to throw you a second shower.  How hospitable of them.  Accept the invitation gracefully, go and have a nice time.  If you're that worried about gas money, return one of the gifts you get and it'll pay for the gas money. 
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  • therockisblinding05therockisblinding05
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not ungrateful or anything, but I just didn't know if I should have done something and didn't. I'm not going to turn down the party or anything- that would be totally rude. I just have limited weekends where I can come back between now and the wedding so I'm a little stressed; it's not really about the gas money so much as the time to do that all. Sorry if that came off rude or like I didn't want to be a part of it. 
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  • brit21489brit21489
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand what you mean. You should just have a "grown up" party like they want. lol If they want to throw you a party then that's awesome, especially if all the friends of the moms can come. It might not be as fun as the other one, but you might be surprised. Hopefully it all works out and you have a great time! I think as long as you graciously accept the shower, you will be fine. You didn't do anything wrong.
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  • mlharbismlharbis
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you did anything wrong, but just let them throw you a party with all their friends and just smile and nod! hah At least you will get good presents since they are "adults" haha  How was your shower with your friends?
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No you didn't do anything wrong. The shower is for you and should be with gals you know, but if they're hell-bent on having people they know (who, I'm assuming are not invited to the wedding?) at a shower, then so be it. I'd be irked at them or saying they were annoyed about it, though. That's not your fault.
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  • therockisblinding05therockisblinding05
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls! I think the shower will have a different twist or theme to it, mom and FMIL are working out the details...

    Alyssa, they're totally invited to the wedding which is why I don't get what the big deal is. We'll have plenty of chances to celebrate, esp since they were at the E party that she threw. oh well...don't care anymore.  How did your shower go?

    Shower went well! A few hiccups beforehand...BMs kept calling me at my make up trial asking me like a mil questions...all which should have been figured out way before 2 hours before the shower started but once it started, it was flawless. It just stressed me out until I got there!
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Alyssa, glad it went well overall! Mine was pretty good, too. I have enough wine left over to last us a month - anybody wanna come help us drink it? lol
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