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Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl

LeahKugelmanLeahKugelman member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My fiance and I don't know any little girls to have as our flower girl, so we asked my 17 year cousin. Since she's so much older, I think it would be strange for her to walk down the isle dropping petals. I'm looking to see if anyone has any ideas on something different should could do while walking down the isle- still incorporating flowers of course.
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Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl

  • MeghannsixMeghannsix member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Why not just have her as a bridesmaid?  FG's are not a requirement.

    btw, if your screen name is your real name, you may want to change it to something more anonymous, it is the internet you know.
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  • sparent2010sparent2010 member
    1000 Comments
    I think she should walk down the aisle as a BM. FG are not a requirement. Like PP said full names are not a good practice on the internet. 
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  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Why still flowers of course? Why not an additional bridesmaid? There's also the (old?) concept of "junior bridesmaid," which has become controversial. Then there are the usual extra jobs:
    reader
    hand out programs
    hand out what guests toss after the ceremony
    guest book attendant

    But those are controversial too, beause they're "jobs."

    One thing I saw at the large last wedding I attended was 2 teen girls that collected the bridesmaids' small bouquets into vases for the long ceremony. It was a full Mass, so the bridesmaids needed their hands. I don't know what tradition or etiquette or whatever would say about it, but it looked thoughtful.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    Was your 17 year old cousin offended when asked to be a "flower girl?"  Unless she's totally quirky, I feel like she's gotta be a little peeved at this, even if she hasn't said anything directly to you.

    I think you should make her a bridesmaid.

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  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    Agreed. BM or nothing. Flower Girls are not a requirement.
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  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:96a1a238-1e1f-407f-9a69-39df97ea8b13">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think we need troll spray today.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Do they sell that wholesale? I feel like I need a few gallons of it.
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  • sonya+adamsonya+adam member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I agree, I'd just make her a bridesmaid. I would be severely offended if I were asked to be a flower girl at that age. I was offended that I was 19 and asked only as a junior bridesmaid for my own father's wedding along with another 10 year old.
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  • pinkrn19pinkrn19 member
    100 Comments
    This can't be serious!? FG cutoff age is like..6 maybe 7! Why would you ask her to be a flower girl just because you don't know kids?
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  • LeahKugelmanLeahKugelman member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    She's not offended at all. Her and I were talking about ways shes could be invovled as well after she asked. It was her idea to take the role of the flower girl. I had no idea the rules were so strict, so I'm thinking we may just need to give her a different title. I know it's unconventional, but I'd like to work her in somewhere and we are set on bridesmaids and groomsmen.

    I'm sorry, I had no intentions of offending anyone, I'm just looking for creative ideas on what she could do instead of being the typical flower girl.
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  • adktd2bootsadktd2boots member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:e5b285b1-8236-43cc-ba2e-a68f702a55db">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]She's not offended at all. Her and I were talking about ways shes could be invovled as well after she asked. It was her idea to take the role of the flower girl. <strong><u>I had no idea the rules were so strict</u></strong>, so I'm thinking we may just need to give her a different title. I know it's unconventional, but I'd like to work her in somewhere and we are set on bridesmaids and groomsmen. I'm sorry, I had no intentions of offending anyone, I'm just looking for creative ideas on what she could do instead of being the typical flower girl.
    Posted by LeahKugelman[/QUOTE]


    Well, they're not.  Because they aren't "Rules."  But really, wouldn't you side-eye a "grown-up" taking on the role that's traditionally set for a child?  She an carry a sign that says "here comes the bride" Other than that, everything else screams "flower girl".
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  • smartlyprettysmartlypretty member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited February 2012
    And don't flower girls almost always wear white? What color would you put her in???

    Agree with PP- make her a bridesmaid. I think the cut off for bridesmaid is like 6 or 7.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:e5b285b1-8236-43cc-ba2e-a68f702a55db">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]She's not offended at all. Her and I were talking about ways shes could be invovled as well after she asked. It was her idea to take the role of the flower girl. I had no idea the rules were so strict, so I'm thinking we may just need to give her a different title. I know it's unconventional, but I'd like to work her in somewhere and we are set on bridesmaids and groomsmen. I'm sorry, I had no intentions of offending anyone,<strong> I'm just looking for creative ideas on what she could do instead of being the typical flower girl</strong>.
    Posted by LeahKugelman[/QUOTE]

    Um, have her be a bridesmaid.

    I'm sorry but she must either be extremely quirky and not care that she will be a 17 year old flower girl or she must really want to be in your wedding to take on that role at such an age.

    If I were 17 and someone said "Will you be my flower girl?" my response would be "You have got to be kidding me?  Uh, no."

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  • LeahKugelmanLeahKugelman member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:2dfe63e2-427f-4306-a156-df0b43ef3d0a">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl : Um, have her be a bridesmaid. I'm sorry but she must either be extremely quirky and not care that she will be a 17 year old flower girl or she must really want to be in your wedding to take on that role at such an age. If I were 17 and someone said "Will you be my flower girl?" my response would be "You have got to be kidding me?  Uh, no."
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    So what, maybe she's quirky? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • smartlyprettysmartlypretty member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    I really want to know what she's going to wear. What do you plan to put her in?
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  • twotimemobtwotimemob member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited February 2012
    I agree with the others.  Have one more bridesmaid at your side.  Don't worry about having an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, even sides are not necessary.  You can say, "You know, Ashley, I've been thinking, and I would rather have you as my bridesmaid.  What do you think?"
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:0816058b-275d-41f3-9618-a6925b7b1a35">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl : So what, maybe she's quirky?
    Posted by LeahKugelman[/QUOTE]

    Well if she is quirky, then good for her.  Hey, if she absolutey wants to be a flower girl then by all means don't let us stop her.  I guess just knowing how typical 17 year olds are, especially now-a-days, a title of flower girl just seems a bit immature.

    But if she really wants to do it then let her.

    Oh and for posters saying that flower girls usually wear white...that's not entirely true.  My niece who was a flower girl for my wedding wore a purple dress since that was one of our wedding colors.  It was adorable and spilled pasta sauce was not an issue.

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  • HilraythebrideHilraythebride member
    500 Comments
    I agree with PP, have her be a BM.  It might be fine for her and she may not care, but I am sure it will have some people side-eyeing her and you.  I would just have her be a BM to make it simplier on her and you.

    FG is for a child younger than a JBM.  I would say the general cutoff is 6 or 7.  It is traditionaly supposed to be a miniature version of the bride.  Someone that when she walks down the aisle everyone is all awwww!
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  • mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I have two 17 year olds in my wedding, a bridesmaid (my sister) and a groomsman (my cousin).  We had a shortage of guys and we wanted even sides (silly, I know) and I had to have my sister in the bridal party (or s*** might have hit the fan with my mother).  If you are all about even sides, do you have another guy you can ask?  I guess you can make her a flower girl, but it seems kind of strange.  It could be worse though.  If you paired a 17 year old flower girl with a 4 year old ring bearer, that would just be awkward...
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  • MeghannsixMeghannsix member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    "Set on bridesmaids"???  What does that mean anyway?  People are  more important than numbers.  Don't make up a new "title" just so you have even numbers.  At the end of the day, it sounds like you're still going to have one more girl than guys, so what's the difference.  If you're that pressed for even sides, have her do a reading.
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  • sonya+adamsonya+adam member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:2517fdb8-7898-4eb2-959c-18e4f8c5d5d3">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]"<strong>Set on bridesmaids"???  What does that mean anyway? </strong> People are  more important than numbers.  Don't make up a new "title" just so you have even numbers.  At the end of the day, it sounds like you're still going to have one more girl than guys, so what's the difference.  If you're that pressed for even sides, have her do a reading.
    Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

    I was going to ask this.

    If it's uneven sides you're worried about, don't. Sides don't have to be even.
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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    If she wants to be the flowergirl, then i would let her. Put her in a dress similar to that of the bridesmaids. I am not engaged yet and am not sure when it will be coming, but the little girl I raised for eight years when I was a nanny has claimed the role of flower girl. She is adamant that she gets to be the FG when we get married. She will be at least 16 when that happens. If that is what she wants, then that is fine with me. I would have made her a BM but she declared otherwise when my BF and I visited them last spring. It would probably be a little more awkward if she was not really tiny. She is barely 5 ft. tall and really petite. She can pass as a 12 year old. Even if she was tall and looked mature I would let her do it. The last thing I will worry about is what people think about my WP. As long as they are comfortable, well fed, etc the guests opinions are a moot point.
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  • Chels&JimmyChels&Jimmy member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_looking-for-idess-for-a-17-year-old-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fcbc925c-c44a-4493-b977-e6d0f1c33ddbPost:d88a38b3-4f8d-40c4-9975-7fd39c7c1ee0">Re: Looking for idess for a 17 year old flower girl</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she wants to be the flowergirl, then i would let her. Put her in a dress similar to that of the bridesmaids. I am not engaged yet and am not sure when it will be coming, but the little girl I raised for eight years when I was a nanny has claimed the role of flower girl. She is adamant that she gets to be the FG when we get married. She will be at least 16 when that happens. If that is what she wants, then that is fine with me. I would have made her a BM but she declared otherwise when my BF and I visited them last spring. It would probably be a little more awkward if she was not really tiny. She is barely 5 ft. tall and really petite. She can pass as a 12 year old. Even if she was tall and looked mature I would let her do it. The last thing I will worry about is what people think about my WP. As long as they are comfortable, well fed, etc the guests opinions are a moot point.
    Posted by redheadtmk[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Similar deal here. FI's sister who is twelve absolutely BEGGED us to let her be the FG. By the time we get married she will be over thirteen which is too old for a traditional FG IMO but oh well. If she wants to be involved then I'm happy to have her. If she changes her mind that's fine too - FG is not required.

    </div>
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  • KatSaintPauliKatSaintPauli member
    First Comment
    I am doing the same thing. I'm having and older child be our flower girl. booo on these haters it's your wedding do as you wish. I'm giving my sweet niece a small boquae and putting her in a light pastel color dress. her necklace is a pendent with a pressed flower in it super cute!!! I'm so existed about her being apart of our day. this is your wedding you get to make the rules of the day. have fun with it!!!!
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  • BMDesignsBMDesigns member
    First Comment
    Geez! I don't understand why everyone is freaking out, exactly as KatSaintPauli said it's your day! It should be about you and your future husband!! I'm having an older "flower girl" as well because it's important to incorporate my little sister into our wedding so she will be dressed in our accent colours with a bouquet like mine. I like the sign idea, I think that's different and fun! I was also going to have her deliver a little message from me to my soon-to-be hubby :) 
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