March 2013 Weddings

Reception Only Invites?

FI and I had counted at his church how many people we think will fit, but now FI talked to the minister today about it and his number is much smaller then our number. We counted that 220 people will fit, he says 175(we are in MN so I guess we didn't consider that people will probably have winter coats(no coat closet). So now we are stuck on how to split up who to invite to the wedding and who to just invite to the reception. My family live an hour away so I'm not sure if that will make them less likely to come to the actual ceremony or more likely. We both have huge families so at 175 just our family(grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) won't all fit. Or do we just assume that 20-30% won't come anyone and not worry?
Also we had been invited to a reception a few weeks ago(they had a private ceremony) and they had a cute saying on the invite (we love you all, but the church is too small....ect) is that ok, or should it not address the fact that they are only being invited to the reception? Our reception hall holds 400 so no problem there.

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Re: Reception Only Invites?

  • I'm usually pretty lenient on things and think a lot of things are ok that others don't on TK, but this is one thing I'm iffy on. I'm not the biggest fan of only inviting people to the reception, but I see your issue. The best options would be to find a place people can keep their coats so you can fit everyone, or change your venue. Is there like an office or something where someone can take the coats and help keep track of them?

    If you really can't do anything about it, definitely make it clear that the invitation is reception only. Maybe word it something like "please join us for dinner and dancing to celebrate our marriage" or something similar. I'd probably be hurt to show up and realize I missed the ceremony. Hopefully people will understand.

    Also, although I'd assume 100% attendance, there IS a chance some people won't make it to the ceremony or at all. I wouldn't plan it that way, but there is a chance.
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  • Thanks, yes that little saying at the end is what I think we will end up using. My Aunt mentioned last night that some people might head straight to the reception since it's a bit farther then the reception, and my family isn't really all about the etiquette so I'm pretty positive they won't be offended. Changing the venue is not an option, it's FI's church. 
    Thanks Jenni!
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