Wisconsin Traditions??

kittykatwi13 · March 2011

Ok, so I've now got a weird sense of whats right and wrong for etiqutte thanks to the etiquette board. So I've come to my local board to ask if I've just been to bad weddings.

Tiered reception- I'm not doing one but have been invited to serveral and my mom even suggested this. Is this WI normal?
Dollar Dance- I'm doing one but also have never been to a wedding that didn't have one. Is this also a WI thing?
I've also never been to a wedding with uneven sides I thought it was a requirement LOL
Anyway What are other WI traditions even if just in your circle and your thoughts on my comments above.
Thanks!

Jules08 · March 2011

[QUOTE]Ok, so I've now got a weird sense of whats right and wrong for etiqutte thanks to the etiquette board. So I've come to my local board to ask if I've just been to bad weddings. Tiered reception- I'm not doing one but have been invited to serveral and my mom even suggested this. Is this WI normal?[/QUOTE]

I have lived in WI all my life and have been to many weddings, I don't know a single person who had a tiered reception. It's considered pretty tacky and rude. All of your guests should be treated equally.

Thank you for not doing one!

[QUOTE] Dollar Dance- I'm doing one but also have never been to a wedding that didn't have one. Is this also a WI thing?
Posted by kittykatwi13[/QUOTE]

Many people have mixed views on this, but most (myself included) find them rude and tacky. You should not be asking your guests to give you money at an event that you are hosting and invited them to.

Is it a WI thing? NO IT IS NOT. They are done across the country and are historied in many cultures.

[QUOTE] I've also never been to a wedding with uneven sides I thought it was a requirement 13[/QUOTE]

?? Not sure what this means ... do you mean an uneven wedding party or do you mean the number of guests invited from each side are uneven? Either way, perfectly acceptable as long as everyone important to you is invited and you didn't make a rule and then break it for specific people just so you could include / exclude certain people.

[QUOTE]Anyway What are other WI traditions even if just in your circle
[/QUOTE]

Hmm, not sure I can think of any WI specific traditions or any within our circle.

beckster5551 · March 2011

I have never been to a tiered reception but I know some other people from WI have talked about having one.

When it comes to the dollar dance, every WI wedding I have been to has had one. I am thinking it's a Wisconsin/ Iowa tradition. We are not having one.

I am with you on the whole uneven sides thing, I have never seen a wedding with uneven sides.

It's rather early for me right now and I can't think of some of the other traditions that seem to be more in WI. I will post when I can think of them

mmancin · March 2011

I'm not from Wisconsin, but I reside here now. The only Wisconsin type tradition I've heard about weddings is polka music. I guess it's pretty popular and everyone loves to polka dance!

andreabechtel · March 2011

I'm not from Wisconsin either, I'm from Louisiana but I live here now. The polka thing is really weird to me, but I've been told by my born and bred Wisconsin fiancee that we ARE having a polka dance, lol. The dollar dance was new to me too, I had never heard of it until I lived in Fargo, ND for a year and a half. I've never been to a Southern wedding that has a dollar dance. Uneven sides aren't that big a deal in the South, usually because most people have at least 5 on each side, and after that you just quit counting. Personally I don't think it's a big deal, but the fiancee does. We're still uneven, he has 6 groomsmen and I have 5 bridesmaids....I'm not too worried.

Tiger_Tammer · March 2011

I have experienced them all! I am also born and raise here (country girl all the way) and have had no harsh feelings about any of these things, it's all in good fun. We are not doing any of them at our wedding except for the polkas! It just wouldn't be the same without Roll Out the Barrel!

cc7003 · March 2011

I have been invited to and attended a tiered reception. I was not offended--it was someone I work with, we're not close but we get along, and I understand how expensive weddings are. I didn't think she was just looking for gifts as is usually suggested when the tiered reception idea comes up. THis was the only one I've ever heard of though.

Dollar dance---every WI wedding I've been to has had one. I'm undecided. I don't have strong feelings either way.

Even sides--yup, every WI wedding I'be been to has had them.

Totally agree with the polka one! My FI actually just threw out 2 polkas he wanted me to include in our 'must play list' for the DJ--no joke!

I can't think of any other WI wedding things right now but I know a girl at work and I were just discussing this recently and we thought of some other ones....

gundy21 · March 2011

I haven't been to a wedding in WI in over 10 years that has had a dollar dance - thankfully it seems like they are on the way out.

Polkas and the dreaded chicken dance are also popular. I'll let one polka slide - NO chicken dance!

brit_bell90 · March 2011

Tiered receptions are terribly tacky, we were invited to two "dances" last year. Both invites were postcards with no RSVPs or anything. I was very offended, that's like saying "you're not good enough to spend money on, but we'll take yours".

Dollar dances sound ridiculously tacky. I've never seen one and I've been to plenty of weddings. At one wedding I attended they had a donation jar, if you wanted the couple to kiss you would donate $1 and the money went to St. Jude's hospital. I think this is acceptable, as it's not going to the B&G.

We were going to have uneven sides, but we had just the right amount of people dropping out for financial reasons, that we're even sided again. I didn't mind either way.

mmancin · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_wisconsin_wisconsin-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:118Discussion:307077c1-b67e-4ccd-8dd2-7c2771fa3056Post:56b7c9bf-38e0-4d3b-958d-38a25a51e3e7">Re: Wisconsin Traditions??</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll let one polka slide - NO chicken dance! :)
Posted by gundy21[/QUOTE]

This!

When FI mentioned he wanted to hear some polka music at the reception and that my FMIL could do a "mean polka"... I thought he was KIDDING! I told him I'm OK with some polka, but I really hate the chicken dance.

jberg134 · March 2011

I've been to tiered receptions and never taken issue with it. In the cases I can think of the people who were invited to only the dance were co-workers or other acquaintances.

Almost every wedding I've been to has had a polka and the chicken dance. It's a German/Polish thing, which makes sense given the original ethnic compesition of SE Wisconsin.

I have only been to 1 wedding with a dollar dance and there it was explained as an ethnic tradition.

I believe every wedding I've been to has had even sides, but I don't care either way.

msteph82 · March 2011

We kick around the idea of doing a dollar dance. His family wants us to do it and a lot of our guests have asked if we'll do one. I had never seen this before until we went to a wedding in IL.

browneyedbride7 · March 2011

I've been invited to a tiered wedding and I was extremely offended. Especially because I hadn't talked to the couple in over 3 years. Uhhh, begging for a gift much???

Just about every wedding (in and out of WI) have had the dollar dance. FI and I might choose to have it, just so that we have the opportunity to dance with some individuals we might not otherwise. If we do have the dollar dance, we will not be keeping the money for ourselves. Rather, we will donate it to the humane society, as we are huge animal lovers.

I've seen uneven sides before - it's becoming more popular these days. I'm not bothered by it.

kittykatwi13 · March 2011

Another thing I thought about....Cash bar

I've never been to a wedding with a full open bar. They will have beer and soda hosted by the couple and then mixed drinks cash bar. I personally would rather pay for it then it be unavailable to me. I prefer a brandy old fashioned to a beer anyday. Never thought of it as a weird thing until I came on the knot. Still can't afford an open bar but will do the normal in my circle of beer and soda hosted by us.

sstobbe · March 2011

I have been to 2 weddings that have had a full open bar. One wedding had it for the entire reception and the other was just for the cocktail hour. People took advantage of it, in a bad way...like ordering doubles of the top shelf whiskey and/or scotch ON THE ROCKS and having like 5 of them in an hour just because if it is free. I could never afford a full open bar with people drinking like that.

msteph82 · March 2011

sstobbe - are you a May bride? If so, check out the May 2011 board!

sarnoon · March 2011

I have been to many, many Wisconsin weddings and I also have never been to one that is tiered. I would have to agree that it's probably not a good idea and people may be put off by that.

As for the dollar dance, I would say it's okay and is normal around here---almost every wedding I've ever been to has had one. People are invited to participate, they are not forced to---ultimately it's their choice and if they don't feel it's appropriate, they don't have to do it.

I don't think anything is wrong with uneven sides.

AJKPetrigala · March 2011

I have never been to a tiered wedding, so I am not sure what those really are.

For the few weddings I have been too 3 of them have done the dollar dance. Those were for who is going to make the most money. I think it cute, and can get kinda silly. And not everyone has to participate if they don't want too.

Polka dances are frequent and super fun!!

trayc20 · April 2011

We are having a tiered reception. I know most people think it's tacky, but every situation is different. No one seems offended by it.

I have always thought the dollar dance was an Italian tradition. This is probably because I'm Itlaian and it's been done at all of the family weddings I've been to. We will probably do it beacuse my older relatives will insist.
My friend's family throws change on the dance floor while the bride and groom have their first dance, and all of the kids collect it.

hinkelcl28 · April 2011

I have never been to a wedding where it's been tiered. I have been to a wedding where not everyone fit into the main reception part so they had people in the "overflow" part. Yes it was just seperated by a wall but I thought it left out those people from everything going on.

As for the dollar dance, almost every wedding I have been to has done this. I do know of some people who donate the money they raise. The groom's money goes to one charity while the bride's money goes to another. My fiance and I have decided to do the dollar dance as a way to interact with all of the guests coming to the wedding.

As for open bar vs cash bar, we went to a wedding where there was an open bar and it was crazy. The open bar would cost us more than what our entire wedding would cost. We are doing a few barrels of beer and unlimited soda but the rest is cash bar. Our contact person at our reception venue suggested we do drink tickets for the wedding party if we want. We could do tickets for up to $5, good for one rail drink, etc. This way if there are people who don't drink beer, they can still get some drinks for free too.

CorrieDude · May 2011

I'm having the dollar dance because it's a cultural tradition in my family. My fiance's family has no cultural ties (they barely know their nationalities), but they still have the dollar dance at their weddings. I was born and raised here and have been to weddings that did and did not have it. However, the weddings I've been to that had the dollar dance and similar dances (chicken dance, polka dances) were much more fun. It is a pretty understood thing that if you do the dollar dance, it is not obligatory to join in. It's mainly cousins, aunts, uncles and close friends that do it. Another Wisconsin tradition, I'm afraid, is people overdrinking, so I wouldn't recommend an open bar. A fair amount of people still do it, but everyone knows at least a handful of people that would get really trashed and try to drive.

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