August 2012 Weddings

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?

On top of trying to lose weight to fit into my dress because my last fitting went horrible...I just got diagnosed with painful Endometriosis, Polysistic Ovary Syndrome, and recurring Ovarian Cysyts...I just don't know how I'm going to keep my sanity.

I regret letting my Mother overpower the guest list to the extent she did. My parents are paying for the majority of this wedding, and we both really appreciate all of their help..but she just took it way overboard.

She insisted inviting over our venue's guest capacity. The venue only wants us to have 188 guests max there. But because the venue manager told my Mom several months ago, it's OK to invite a little more than 188, she went ahead and did that. The venue can hold 250, but we have to pay more $$ for additional seating in the other room. I didn't want this.

In May, our list was at 204 and I drew the line. NO MORE GUESTS! We can't just invite everyone we know in our lives. The list was officially FINALIZED.

Now with only 3 weeks from the wedding, more people are VERBALLY being invited. RSVP deadline has passed, I have no more invitations, but my Mom insists that's OK becuase they don't "Care". I feel so tacky! But there's nothing I can do since they've already been verbally invited by my Mom and my Cousin, and they are so excited to come. There has been a total of 12 MORE people added to our list with only 17 days left!!

NOW my FMIL SWEARS that she gave me three couples on her list that really were never there. I have been studying this guest list since July, 2011- I KNOW those people weren't ever invited. But now her and FFIL are throwing a fit because these people were left off the list. That's SIX more people that we're talking about at the very last minute.

I can't begin to stress to everyone more that it is impossible to invite anymore people. This is getting ridiculous.

Re: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?

  • Sorry if I missed this in there, but who is paying?  If you're paying, simply put your foot down.  If you're not, sucks, but not much you can do.
    Anniversary
  • Mom and Dad are paying for the reception. Therefore the reason why I haven't flipped out like I want to
  • Fair enough.  Sorry, though, it still stinks.  When is final headcount due?  Hopefully that will make the madness stop!
    Anniversary
  • Final headcount is due this Friday, which both Moms are coming with us. Hopefully they realize we're at out wits end!
  • You're almost there, then!  Maybe forewarn the catering manager (but ask her to keep quite about your conversation) and ask him/her to politely insist that those final numbers must truly be final?
    Anniversary
  • You are not the only one with this problem, and after talking with a few others in my social circle, it seems to be the norm when parents are paying.  We had the guestlist finalized by April, and had 250 guests on there...perfect! Gave a copy to each side of parents so they could double check and make sure everyone was on there they they wanted, and we ended with over 400 guests invited. Thankfully my parents are footing that portion of the bill, and they don't seem to have a single problem with the guest list.  And we weren't too worried, because I made sure we had accounted for everyone and their children, plus 1's, and any extra's they may bring with.  Also we knew that one of my other cousins (on the larger side of the family) was getting married that day too. So we expected about 50-75% acceptance rate.

    The way I look at it is, the people who matter will come. Whether you agree with them being invited or not. If you are important enough to you, then they will make an effort to come.
  • I am sorry to hear about your health issues!! I hope that you get better!!!!
    Anniversary
  • I have endo and PCOS. Not a big deal day to day. My periods are horrid from the endo but Advil is my friend. As far as head count just remind yourself that your in the home stretch. Take a big breath and open some wine or some bubble bath. Good luck
    85image 71image 14image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_are-you-freaking-kidding-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:20ea5578-c148-43cd-8f42-211d8f0ec989Post:54074ba5-2956-4718-a0a1-d559669741a4">Re: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]  We had the guestlist finalized by April, and had 250 guests on there...perfect! Gave a copy to each side of parents so they could double check and make sure everyone was on there they they wanted, and we ended with over 400 guests invited. Thankfully my parents are footing that portion of the bill, and they don't seem to have a single problem with the guest list.  And we weren't too worried, because I made sure we had accounted for everyone and their children, plus 1's, and any extra's they may bring with.  Also we knew that one of my other cousins (on the larger side of the family) was getting married that day too. So we expected about 50-75% acceptance rate. The way I look at it is, the people who matter will come. Whether you agree with them being invited or not. If you are important enough to you, then they will make an effort to come.<div>Posted by brij2006[/QUOTE]</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm so glad this isn't true for us! My parents are paying and FI and I made the guest list. Of course I included a few of my parents close friends but I wasn't bullied into going over venue capacity or asked to add an unreasonable amount.

    </div>
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • One can't even win when their parents aren't paying for the reception. My mom cried enough times that it guilted me into inviting 8 cousins of hers that I didn't want there. I am still disgusted that I gave in, but thought never having to hear her cry more times might be worth it.
    image
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