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smh....my mom

soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
500 Comments
in African American Weddings
my mom text me last week and told me she sent two save the dates to my aunt judy who i have met once and my mom has seen her once in the lasy 25 years, and her cousin donna. I got so irritated. i explained to her that we cannot fit anymore people, our guest list is full, our venue will only allow so many. She says "well....i am the mother of the bride....i should get to invite people too"....i got so mad i just kinda hurried off the phone. We dont have any extra invites to send out, we only ordered 50 and we have already invited more people than the room allows (i know, terrible, were only over about 8 people and we know certain people wont come but still....) She was all like "well i already sent them a STD so u have to send an invite"

first of all, i sent my STD's months ago, second....why are you taking it upon yourself to send anything to anyone without asking? You arent paying.


How do i tell her once it comes time to mail the invites that i cant send them one?
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Re: smh....my mom

  • nursing2unursing2u member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I guess you are going to have to tell her that the invites are already assigned to people on your list already, and you are not deleting people off your list just to add someone that u havent seen in forever and may not come anyway.... Unless.. she is willing to contribute financially.
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  • KBritton62313KBritton62313
    10 Comments

    I agree with PP!! You totally have to tell her that she has to either delete somebodies or contribute! Money does not grow in your backyard. She should at least know that while she is the mother of the bride, she has to remember that she is not the BRIDE!! So therefore, she does not get to add extra people to your already packed list!! If she doesn't like that, then she doesn't like the truth!

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  • keyaira04keyaira04 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Wow.... You better than me lady. Like MissJ or somebody said on here " Sure they can come. I need $44.59 each guest from you by the end of the week. Love ya!"
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  • cookdt5312014cookdt5312014 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_smhmy-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:541f1b2d-7e1a-4f37-9d6c-42f0a7276679Post:aa2577d9-dada-4a64-a743-a0c04727734e">Re: smh....my mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow.... You better than me lady. Like MissJ or somebody said on here " Sure they can come. I need $44.59 each guest from you by the end of the week. Love ya!"
    Posted by keyaira04[/QUOTE]
    Ha! i love it im going to have to use that i love it lol
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  • CreoleBride30CreoleBride30 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Sorry you are going through this...it's tough because it's your mom. More than anything, it seems like the venue will not accomodate more ppl. So, in addition to the money issue, it's a space issue as well. She probably means well and is really excited for you. However, she must realize that she can't keep inviting people. You have guidelines and a budget to follow. I would remind her of that. Also, has she visited the venue? I would get her involved on that part purposely so she can know what's up with spacing limitations as well....this is what I did. Once mommie saw the venue, she realized she couldn't keep giving me more ppl to invite. 

    Does she have any of her friends invited or is the guest list only from you and FI?

    IDEA: If she wants to continue inviting ppl, then YOUR MOTHER can pay for a brunch, lunch, or dinner the day after the wedding for those guests (if you all are not going on HM right away). 

    Cha
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  • thedivavthedivav member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    my mom already knows dont pull that mess...
    my family thinks i am crazy so they dont try to mess me lol 

    tell mom no

    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" ~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich~
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    500 Comments
    its not even the money thing, i know that everyone we invite wont come and we will be able to fit all the people that do show. i just wont take the chance of inviting more and EVERYONE comes. Ill just have to explain to her that the list is full, FI has family too, and if she really wanted them there i need to have known when i sent the STDs. I gave her a couple extra and asked her not to send them to who she planned sending them to because of space, so she goes and pulls this. smh. She hasnt been involved in the planning at all, and to take it upon herself really irks me.
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  • CreoleBride30CreoleBride30 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yea...I would not have given her any extra. You two need to have a talk about how things are going to be done ahead of time so you don't run into this issue later. Brush it off and Take it as a lesson learned. Everything will work out. Trust me, you will have more to deal with than just these 2 ppl. 

    Cha
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
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  • khaliandamonkhaliandamon
    First Comment
    I totally understand your stress. I am not telling my mom and anyone else who feels that they "must" be invited that they are more than welcome to add to the guest list as long as they are paying $60 per person added. And that I want the money before I can confirm them on the guest list.

    Good luck talking to your mom.
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  • aquari0216aquari0216 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hell...the same way you told us...just a bit more humble?
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