Wedding Invitations & Paper

Wording

I had planned on wording the invitations:

John and Jane Doe
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kristen Elizabeth
to
Michael Richard Smith

(like my fake names? lol)

considering my parents will be paying for the majority of the wedding, we will be contributing the rest, and FMIL will not be contributing financially (father is deceased).  This wording will also will likely seriously piss off FMIL. However, I don't feel it is right to give credit to someone who is not helping when my parents are doing so much. Opinions please...

Re: Wording

  • cschuma2cschuma2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited April 2011
    I wouldn't start out the marriage on the wrong foot with your FMIL.  What does your FI think?

    How about...

    Jane & John Doe
    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Kristen Elizabeth
    to
    Michael Richard Smith
    son of
    Mary Smith
    date
    time
    place


    This doesn't look like she is the host, however it includes her on the invite. 
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  • Well, aside from some wording issues in what you've stated, it's rather traditional and there isn't anything rude about it. However if you think it may lead to hurt feelings then list the MOG as PP stated above.
  • "Son of" doesn't give any "credit" as a host, just notes that she's his mother.  Seems like the perfect solution.
  • It's not rude to not give parents a title. It's not traditional, sure, and it's not as formal, but no way is it rude. And are you really advocating she stick with the traditional format knowing it's going to piss off her FMIL? Nice way to start her married relationship.
  • Wow. You're a teacher, right? I'm sure you must understand the difference between fact and opinion.
  • If you add FMIL, as pp have said, you may say something like:

    "son of Mrs. Jane and the late Mr. John Johnson"

    Although I don't know if you use Mr./Mrs. when someone is deceased.  But anyway, it gives the FILs the respect of being mentioned without credit for paying.
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  • When I did my invites, I pretty much had mine worded how you have it (with only my parents' names). Traditionally, the names of whoever is hosting is put on the invitation, hence the reason only my parents are listed. I might be rude or wrong, but I have more of a problem putting FI's parents names on the invite when they aren't contributing ANYTHING to the wedding.
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  • At 10:30 PM where am I? I'm either asleep or tending to a needy infant. CMGr, I don't know that it's rude to omit titles based on this link to Crane's: http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/invitationalline?RPL
  • CMGR, what did you think was "settled"? Nothing is ever "settled" on a board where people are free to express their opinions. I was just surprised that you couch yours as fact. I'm not quite following why the call for a moderator.


  • FWIW, I think a lot  (if not all ) of this is what the person prefers.  CMGr, you would find it quite rude if your daughter referred to you by your first name and without titles on her wedding invitation or in the program (I am not making any assumptions regarding who may be hosting her wedding).

    However some people are perfectly fine being referred to by their first name and I don't think they are rude to do so as long as it's with the understanding of all parties.

  • It references that if a woman kept her maiden name then should she want to be listed on the invitation with her maiden name then no titles should be used. Since Crane's advises omitting titles in this situation, they cannot say that omitting titles is inappropriate.
  • Most wedding invitations do only have the brides parent's inviting, however the suggestion "Son of ..." is a good idea as well, but not necessary.
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