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DW dilema

loveshan85loveshan85 member
First Comment
in Destination Weddings Discussions
Hey all!  I'm new to the whole posting boards, but reading the "New to DW boards" made me feel a little better about posting something. 

So heres my dilema:

My fiance and I have been talking and really like the whole destination wedding idea!  Only destination within the states because we wanted to be sensitive to everyone.  This will be my second wedding, his first, so he really wanted a bigger wedding.  Another reason we wanted to keep it within the states.  We wanted something fun and 100% memorable.  Not just another Saturday wedding that everyone forgets about a month later.  Soooo...we decided on New Orleans/ Baton Rouge area!  Neither of us has been to Louisiana, but have always wanted to go.  I've done some research and found the most beautiful plantation that would be my ideal wedding setting =)  We live in Utah, he was born and raised here, I've lived here for about 3 and a half years now.  My family and friends back in Indiana (and a few here) are all about it!  His family 110% against.  His friends love the idea as well, but who wants to get married without family? We've even given them well over a year to save for the trip.  Any tricks on getting everyone to go along with it?! It is totally his day too, and I know he won't be happy without his family, but I'm not willing to backdown just because they don't like what we want...
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Re: DW dilema

  • jtolyjtoly member
    2500 Comments
    Congrats and welcome! As long as he is ok with the chance they may not go, Id say go for it!! They may suprise you in the end and come along. They may not like the idea but Perhaps once you book it and start planning they might get on board, but there always might be that chance they won't come. I think that sounds likena great place for a wedding and lots of fun!!
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  • Julyet06Julyet06 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't know that there is anyway to get people to change their minds...they will need some time to think about it and hopefully understand that this is what you and your FI want.  The most important thing is to be certain that you and your FI are absolutely sure that you want this no matter who shows.  Looks like your FI will need to really be honest with you and with himself just in case his family doesn't come around.  When my FI and I first started planning a DW, we made sure that the guests we absolutely couldn't get married without (moms, sisters, brothers, best friends) were willing and able to go. 
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  • gummibear2013gummibear2013 member
    100 Comments
    Welcome to the board and congrats on your engagement.  Doing a DW whether in the states or out seems to be a difficult decision to make especially with family/friends against it.  I have the same dilema.  I agree you are giving them enough advance saving time.  It is a decision that you and your FI have to really make sure that you want together with the chance that the family won't attend.  This is a day all about your happiness(FI and yourself) so they should want to be a part of your magical day.  Start your planning process and plan the wedding of your dreams.  Hopefully they will come around for you guys.  I"m sure they don' t want to miss it. 

    Happy Planning
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  • stefwells23stefwells23
    100 Comments
    Congrats on the engagement!!!

    Planning a DW wedding can be tough, and I think all the ladies here can agree with me that we have all sturggled with either family or friends ing up a fuss. I am still in the early stages of planning, but it hasn`t been easy for my FI or I. We do however, know that we would be happy either way (having friends there or not).

    I wish you luck with your planning!
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  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Talk with your FI and discuss whether he's ok with taking that chance. From my experience a lot of the family that 'weren't ok with it' early on are now coming around as we are getting closer and are planning on attending, they were even some of the first to book a room at the resort lol
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  • nicolej518nicolej518
    500 Comments
    Do you know why his family is concerned? I found that with FIs mom, she wasn't for it in the beginning because "everyone wouldn't be able to go". FI knew that she meant some random lady that changed his diaper when he was 2, and the cashier at her favorite grocery store type of people (exaggerating just a bit haha but you get what I mean), and that just didn't matter to him. He did reallize that a number of his aunts would not attend for various reasons, but our immediate family would all be there along with some other family and friends so we were ok with proceeding. 
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  • loveshan85loveshan85 member
    First Comment
    Thank you all so much for your input!  It has helped a TON!!  For me anyway.  I think it has actually stressed him out a little more than he had anticipated.  We are still way early on in the planning, so hopefully we can get everything figured out and soon!  I can't wait to actually get the planning going in full swing =) 
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