Shower Question - A bit long

mandikaykay · February 2010

I am having a rather large wedding. There are 500+ on the actual guest list, most of them are my family members, my mom has seven siblings, my dad was one of nine, eight of which are living. I am close to most of them, even some of the second cousins. So, I think you see where this is going. Anywho, I am trying to keep the guest list for the Bridal Shower down. I invited people that I am close to.

Well of course I invited FI's grandma and three of her sisters, two of which I often play cards with at his house. So that made sense. Well, I've been waivering on inviting the fourth sister because I don't really know her. I've met her once and she has a bunch of children. FMIL suggested I invite her anyway because she said if I don't the aunt is going to take it out on FI. To muddy the waters even more, this aunt's granddaughter is getting married soon and FMIL asked me to accompany her to the bridal shower since no one else would go with her. I agreed. So does it mean I have to invite this aunt and all her daughters (like 5 or 6) plus granddaughters?

Luckily, I have a bridal party of eight women and my two aunts are pitching in for the shower. But I am starting to feel like a total butthole for allowing the shower guest list to continue creeping up.

Open to advice...

Blue_Bird · February 2010

To be honest, I don't think you should be inviting anyone. Bridal showers are usually thrown for the bride, by a family member or close friend. If you've already begun inviting people, I would invite only those to whom you are a) close, and b) have invited to the wedding. If they aren't on your wedding guest list, they shouldn't be on your bridal shower guest list. I understand that you're in a tight spot, but keep in mind that everyone attending a shower is expected to bring a gift, since that's the purpose of the shower. I think I would be more insulted being expected to give a gift to someone who a) I don't know very well, and b) didn't invite me to her wedding.

I wish you luck, and congratulations!

mandikaykay · February 2010

Thank you Blue Bird! I agree that all those invited to the shower are invited to the wedding. These women are already invited to the wedding. I don't believe I was clear in my post, my question is should I invite these women to the shower even though I don't know them that well so that they won't feel left out? Or does it even matter?

Also, I am only providing my aunts and attendants with a list of people to invite that includes their addresses, I am not inviting people myself. Each will receive an invitation by mail.

MAGNUM06 · February 2010

Hello Mandikaykay: I'm Magnum06, a lurker and I dont comment very often, but based upon the information provided and your question. I think you should extend to the 4th aunt. I realize that you may not be very close to her, but since you have invited 3 of the sisters, it may be considered rude to not atleast extend an invitation to the 4th. Now, keep in mind you are NOT OBLIGATED to invite all of her children and grandchildren and what-have-you, but for this occasion, if it were my event, I would extend an invitation to Aunt So-and-So. This is not a big enough deal to cause any hurt feelings for. Be mindful in your shower invitations or RSVP to pre-indicate 1, so that everyone is very clear to whom the invitation is extended. That way... Everyone will "feel" included, so to speak. That's just my opinion...I hope it helps you!!! and HAVE A GREAT SHOWER!!!!

Blue_Bird · February 2010

Thanks for clarifying, MandiKayKay. I wasn't sure. I agree that you aren't obligated to invite her, and certainly not children or grandchildren, but if it's just one more aunt, it won't hurt. If she wants to come, she will. Have fun, and don't sweat the small stuff!

mandikaykay · February 2010

Thank you. I was leaning towards just giving in, it is just one more person. The bridal party hasn't complained or anything...but I didn't want them to think I was taking advantage of them. I appreciate the insight.

And Magnum06, thanks for coming out of lurker status just to respond...made me feel quite special.

MAGNUM06 · February 2010

Hi MandyKayKay: Thais is Magnum 06.....Thanx for the Kudos.... Girl... You are special... Good Luck on your Shower.... It will be fine!!!! I'm glad i could bless you... Take Good Care.

Shower Question - A bit long

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