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Wedsite FAQ

SeldomSeldom member
First Comment
in Gay Weddings
So I intitally wrote a FAQ for our wedsite covering basic questions like why Canada, and will our marriage be legal, and who will wear the dress...general questions that I felt my southern family might ask. But I just sent out our Save the Date cards and I'm sort of waiting for a bit of a backlash from some people. You see, I never exactly "came out" to every member of my extended family because I never saw the need to discuss my sexual orientation with them and I'm treating our wedding as any of my cousins would treat their's...by simply announcing that I'm getting married as if it's a normal occurence, because it is.

So I'm concerned that some family members may feel the need to lecture me about this, or say hurtful things, and I'm wondering if there is a polite way I can address this in the wedsite FAQ?
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Re: Wedsite FAQ

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, anyone in your family who feels the need to lecture you or say hurtful things is not going to be deterred by anything you may write on your wedsite.  Do you have any supportive family members who might be able to do something preemptive with the less supportive ones?  E.g., supportive sister says to cousin before the invitations come out, "We're so excited that Seldom is getting married to [name] next summer [or whenever it is], and hope you'll be able to be there."  That way, cousin knows that sister is supportive, and sister has the opportunity to squelch any negative comments that cousin might otherwise make.

    I actually have a funny story about that one.  I also didn't feel the need to discuss my orientation in detail with my family.  After my divorce, I just mentioned matter-of-factly, "I'm dating this woman named [name]," and left it at that.  I heard afterward that my mother told everyone in the family that my ex-husband had divorced me because he found out I wasn't attracted to men.  Let's just say this was news to my ex-husband, who had always known I was bi and laughed uproariously at the idea that our marriage had ended due to my not being attracted to men.

    Anyway, best of luck on dealing with the family!
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
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  • SeldomSeldom member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know you are right...and it's funny because I was discussing the issue with my fiancee and she was doubtful that anyone displeased by our wedding would go so far as to visit the wedsite. I don't have any especially supportive family members, more like a set of family that just accepts it because I'm family.

    Your story was both hilarious and sad. I've never understood why it is so difficult for people to understand that people can be attracted to both sexes. Gender doesn't even factor into the equation for me, it's all about personality, and yet because I'm marrying a woman everyone has made up their minds about my sexual orientation. I don't think you get to pick the gender of the person you love :)

    Loved your wedding write-up by the way!
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I'm another one for whom gender is pretty much irrelevant.  But it's characteristic of my mother to make up her mind on what is going on with me (typically with the worst possible interpretation) without bothering to check on the facts.

    And thanks for the compliment on the wedding.  It didn't exactly follow all the "rules," but we and our guests had a good time and we ended up married.  That was good enough for me!
    Anniversary
    Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale
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