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Not doing a wedding party

SamanthaJean528SamanthaJean528
10 Comments
in Wedding Party
I am doing a super small, intimate wedding (only about 50 people.) We have opted not to do a wedding party since the wedding is so small as is. However, I am still in the beginning stages of my planning and haven't really told anyone any plans yet. So my best friend is all gung ho about picking out a brides maids dress. She emailed me all these links to potential dresses. I don't want to hurt her or make her feel left out, but I just want to keep things simple. How do I tell her that I have decided not to do a wedding party without hurting her feelings? I just feel bad because she is so excited.

Anyone else have to deal with something like this? Thoughts?
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Re: Not doing a wedding party

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    "You know, Mary Sue, Joe and I have decided not to have a WP at all.  But I know you'll look fab at the wedding and party hard at the reception, and I can't wait!"

    People swallow the "We're not having a WP at all" pill much better than they swallow the, "We already selected the WP and you're not in it" pill.  She's probably assuming because it's something most people have.  But it's not mandatory, and I think you're wise not to have one, and it's wrong of her to assume.  So next time she sends you links to BM dresses, just tell her you're not having a WP.  She might feel a little foolish, but she'll get over it.  And if she flips out, that says a lot about her.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Brooke is wise.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Ditto Brooke.

    She might be a little bummed, but if you're having no bridesmaids at all then she's really got nothing to be offended about. As long as she's not a psycho, she'll get over it. (I had a friend who seemed to be hinting around to be a BM and I didn't ask her, and from what I saw there were no issues. She wound up doing a reading for us.)

    If she offers to help out with the planning or go on vendor/shopping trips with you, invite her along if you wish.

    If she's excited about what dress she'll wear as a guest, ask if she wants to make it a girls' day (dress shopping + lunch, movie, mani/pedi).
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    Brooke is right.  We're only doing a MOH and best man.  When friends heard it was going to be a small ceremony (final count 30), they were fine and asked if there was anything I needed them to do to help out.

    Off Topic - mbcdefg - I love the Cliffs of Moher sig.  I blew up my picture of the cliffs on a rainy day to a 2x3 ft size and hung it over the living room couch.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_not-doing-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:af987b65-4681-4a84-af14-3d9a666f9e65Post:db9f48df-84a4-4350-bad3-948082fa7906">Re: Not doing a wedding party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Off Topic - mbcdefg - I love the Cliffs of Moher sig.  I blew up my picture of the cliffs on a rainy day to a 2x3 ft size and hung it over the living room couch.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! We're actually planning to do the same thing. Friends of ours have a gorgeous enlarged poster/photo of Big Ben in their living room that they took on a trip to London, so we plan to do the same with a few of our travel photos.
    image
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  • cmmosley81cmmosley81 member
    100 Comments
    DITTO Brooke. She is very smart. We are doing a small wedding and I almost want to say the same jsut the MOH BM FG RB but I am still working that out I think
    60 Invitedimage Attendingimage Declinedimage Not Repliedimage RSVP Date September 15, 2011 image
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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    good advice!

    I agree especially with the fact that she would appreciate you saying "you are not having a wedding party" over "you are not in the wedding party!"
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with PPs.  Let her know sooner rather than later so she doesn't feel foolish for making plans. 
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