Registry and Gift Forum

Donating to a Charity for a Registry

My friend is getting married, and in lieu of registering, they have three charities they have suggested their guests donate to. I know this is bad etiquette, but here we are, and I'm wondering how much to give/ should I give/ how should I congratulate her?
One of the charities is VERY near to my heart, and I have donated to it before on my own. I'm inclined to just go with that charity.

Re: Donating to a Charity for a Registry

  • I would donate to the charity you have a connection with. I'd probably donate around the same amount that I would have spent on a gift, maybe a little more or less.

    I would bring a card to the wedding and write your heartfelt message of congratulations, then include a note on the bottom saying, "A donation has been made in your name to _____."

    Honestly, I don't have a problem with these things to the extent that I would go against the bride and groom's wishes just because I know it's in poor taste. I don't side-eye these things to the point where I'd be tempted to show up with a rooster cookie jar, even though I'd personally never make a HR or charity registry. Some brides simply don't know better, and in the case of a charity registry, at least their heart is in the right place.
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  • If it's a charity you really care about and already donate to, I would be inclined to just donate to that charity for her gift. If I didn't really care for/feel passionate about any of the charities, I would probably give cash.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_donating-to-a-charity-for-a-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:bed3c8dd-7d89-42a5-9054-46550b742465Post:995ecc29-00b4-4aa8-a06c-ee683060b5b4">Re: Donating to a Charity for a Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it's a charity you really care about and already donate to, I would be inclined to just donate to that charity for her gift. If I didn't really care for/feel passionate about any of the charities,<strong> I would probably give cash.</strong>
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    For some reason I would feel silly doing this, as they make probably 10x what H and I make (one reason they're not registering) and I would just be embarassed to give what we can afford.
    I think I'll donate to the charity. I would feel much better doing that, anyways.
    Thanks girls! :)
  • I really don't think this is bad etiquette; I think it's nice. If you feel attached to one charity, donate to that one. Bring a card to the wedding with a hand-written note saying how nice you think it is that they chose XYZ charity and that you've made a donation in their name.
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  • I think that the Bride & Groom will get a list of who donated so that they can thank you. That is how the charity that I have works anyways. 

    I also don't think it's rude. 

    My FI and I don't need anything really, at least not compared to starving children all over the world. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_donating-to-a-charity-for-a-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:bed3c8dd-7d89-42a5-9054-46550b742465Post:b57da621-dbae-4118-b86a-3308954cf805">Re: Donating to a Charity for a Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I really don't think this is bad etiquette; I think it's nice. If you feel attached to one charity, donate to that one. Bring a card to the wedding with a hand-written note saying how nice you think it is that they chose XYZ charity and that you've made a donation in their name.
    Posted by TaraKeeley[/QUOTE]

    Yes, donating to a charity is nice, but it should be of one's own funds, not telling others to make the donation out of theirs.  They might not support the charity in question, or they might not want to give to any charity.  That's what makes it not good etiquette.
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