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Beginning Marriage Prep

Tiffany6912Tiffany6912
500 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
Hey ladies!

We have already had one meeting with both our local priest and our priest in New Jersey where we will be getting married.

But today I mailed the form to register us for PreCana (Jan 29).  Then I got an email from our sponsor couple, looking to set up our first meeting; coffee in a couple weeks after mass.  I am pretty excited!

I am curious about what we can expect from PreCana?
Also, have any of you had a sponsor couple that you worked with the whole time? 
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Re: Beginning Marriage Prep

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That is exciting.

    But, I do find it hard to believe your priest is telling you to start the process so soon considering your wedding is almost a year and a half away. Most churches recommend starting about 6 months before the wedding.

    Anyway, as far as pre-cana goes, what it sounds like you guys are required to do is completely different than what H and I had to do. We were in a similar situation, we got married in our home state, but did our pre-cana where we currently live.

    We were required to meet with the priest a few times to make sure we had all the necessary paperwork and to take the FOCCUS test. He was in contact with the priest back home that was going to marry us to ensure we met the requirements for that dioceses, which was an EE Weekend. The dioceses where we currently live did not require it but since we were only doing the prep here and getting married elsewhere, we had to complete it.

    Just be yourself, tell the truth and remember that the priest and sponsor couple are to help you both and get your marriage off on the right foot by working out any potential problems or issues. Good luck.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_beginning-marriage-prep?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:38020979-3633-4330-8a4e-71200510f344Post:440f773c-30fd-45fa-bff1-c940b1390961">Re: Beginning Marriage Prep</a>:
    [QUOTE]That is exciting. But, I do find it hard to believe your priest is telling you to start the process so soon considering your wedding is almost a year and a half away. Most churches recommend starting about 6 months before the wedding. Anyway, as far as pre-cana goes, what it sounds like you guys are required to do is completely different than what H and I had to do. We were in a similar situation, we got married in our home state, but did our pre-cana where we currently live. We were required to meet with the priest a few times to make sure we had all the necessary paperwork and to take the FOCCUS test. He was in contact with the priest back home that was going to marry us to ensure we met the requirements for that dioceses, which was an EE Weekend. The dioceses where we currently live did not require it but since we were only doing the prep here and getting married elsewhere, we had to complete it. Just be yourself, tell the truth and remember that the priest and sponsor couple are to help you both and get your marriage off on the right foot by working out any potential problems or issues. Good luck.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]


    Actually, its a minimum 6 months. It is prefereble to do all the marriage prep as soon as possible...so that issues can get sorted out, and things delayed if necessary. When marriage prep happens so close to the desired date of the wedding, the couple isn't as likely to trully discern clearly.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We didn't have a sponsor couple.  We did Engaged Encounter 6 months before the wedding.  Most of the couples there were closer to their wedding dates. 

    I agree that it's a good idea to do your marriage prep sooner rather than later, although many of the EE couples said that it was nice doing that weekend towards the end because it was an oasis of relationship building in the middle of crazy wedding planning.  It's awfully easy to lose track of your relationship when you're scrambling to find the right caterer in your budget, etc. 

    Good luck and congratulations!
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    we didnt have a sponsor couple either.  all of our pre-cana was done solely with the priest, which i actually preferred.

    we had a short engagement (well, short by most people's standards, it was 7 months).  we were engaged in July, did pre-cana in september/october, and were married in Feb.
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  • wifeandmommy0609wifeandmommy0609
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we don't have a sponsor couple. We did have to do a  meeting with the father before doing anything else.

    We had to complete a 3 step course.

    STEP 1- Theology Component ( there was 5 options in this sections to choice from)
     
    we did a one day class called
    God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage


    STEP 2- Natural Family Planning

     our church allowed us to do this online.


    STEP 3- Life Skills Component ( there was 7 options to choice from)

    Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend.

    So far we haven't had to do the FOCCUS test but the father did saying in the first meeting about it so not sure if we will have to do it or not. All we have left is our final meeting with him ( which i am waiting for the church to call me back to schedule.)
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  • Tiffany6912Tiffany6912
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies

    Our priest told us that our prep must be a minimum of six months and that spending additional time could only be better for us.
    It is my understanding that we do not have to do Engaged Encounter if we do PreCana and we will be doing FOCCUS with our sponsor couple.
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  • lafsalotlafsalot
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    EE is optional for our diocese but encouraged.
    FOCUS is standard for us...
    We met with our priest right after getting engaged and we sought our sponsor couple out although we haven't met yet.
    Our lives are always a little crazy so for us we wanted to get our pre-cana stuff covered early because so many of our friends have waited until they HAVE to get it done that it is rushed in the most hectic time of wedding planning... so we are looking at our EE weekend in April or Sept of 2011 - Feb would have been great because we have some dear friends that are responsible for the weekend but we both have other commitments that weekend.
    Again- why we look so far ahead is because we tend to have too much going on.
    So I agree that sooner is better - allows for time to discuss any thing that comes up in your sessions.
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