Is it rude to ask your guest to bring..

Kindachewy · May 2012

anything? I am having a totally vintage feel wedding and I really love the idea of having a table set up with something that each person brough from thier own wedding, and then a little note about it. I know most people keep something, Be it the glasses they toasted with, or their cake cutting knife or even the bouquet or cake topper. I think the IDEA of having this all displayed is awesome, but I dont know how to go about it. I really find it rude to ask anyone to ship me anything and I dont want something important lost in the mail, but is it rude to ask them to bring it? TIA

HockeyFan4 · May 2012

yes

kcscejal · May 2012

I think it sounds great in theory, but is really a logistical nightmare.

mkrupar · May 2012

I'm sure you could find vintage glasses, cake cutters, etc. in antique shops. That's the route I would go. I get that you want the stories to go with them, but asking people to bring things isn't a great idea.

saric83 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-to-ask-your-guest-to-bring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0603bcdb-d77e-4020-bcc6-82144b31ebc4Post:f2f92d4d-4e5d-483d-80a2-c6408ddaacb2">Re: Is it rude to ask your guest to bring..</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it sounds great in theory, but is really a logistical nightmare.
Posted by kcscejal[/QUOTE]

Agreed! Maybe just talk with all of the parents and see if they would be willing to do this, and you could put their items display somewhere.

Even for my closest friend, I wouldn't bring anything since I would be concerned that it would be lost or broken.

HockeyFan4 · May 2012

to elaborate:
what if someone's special thing was stolen or broken during the reception?

essentially you are asking guests to bring items to create your centerpieces. While the idea is cute, can you now see why this is rude, and a possible really bad situation?

Lenore2010 · May 2012

This sounds nice for a small family party, for a wedding wow potential mess.

Loopyseven · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-to-ask-your-guest-to-bring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0603bcdb-d77e-4020-bcc6-82144b31ebc4Post:7204d602-3f19-4dbe-b889-45f09d2de53f">Re: Is it rude to ask your guest to bring..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to ask your guest to bring.. : Agreed! Maybe just talk with all of the parents and see if they would be willing to do this, and you could put their items display somewhere.<strong> Even for my closest friend, I wouldn't bring anything since I would be concerned that it would be lost or broken. </strong>
Posted by saric83[/QUOTE]

<div>This.. I like the concept, but in reality, I just don't think it will work the way you want it to. And also, very few people would take the time to read that many notes/stories for more than a few minutes.</div>

SarahPLiz · May 2012

Perhaps just ask your parents. I have seen other people do memory tables with wedding pictures of their parents and grandparents. Those are vintage all on their own. I wouldn't ask for one from every guest though.

Kindachewy · May 2012

Okay, haha I guess this was a worse idea that I thought! haha, next question is what if maybe I asked each person to actually mail in a wedding photo with thier RSVPs and I put them in mason jars with colored water, is this also tacky?

NOLAbridealmost · May 2012

It's not rude to ask for a photo from volunteers, but make sure folks know what the photo will be used for.

I also wouldn't include any of the photo stuff in the invites; it's something I'd only ask (in person) of particularly close family/friends.

You could always use photos of you and your FI for the mason jar centerpieces.

LeiselEB · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-rude-to-ask-your-guest-to-bring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0603bcdb-d77e-4020-bcc6-82144b31ebc4Post:040f056b-d7e4-4ae9-ae43-7f4889cb634a">Re: Is it rude to ask your guest to bring..</a>:
[QUOTE] Okay, haha I guess this was a worse idea that I thought! haha, next question is what if maybe I asked each person to actually mail in a wedding photo with thier RSVPs and I put them in mason jars with colored water, is this also tacky?
Posted by Kindachewy[/QUOTE]

<div>I think an idea like this would work better for just your parents and grandparents wedding photos. Then it's more of a family thing rather than just any old guest. </div><div>
</div><div>Not all of your guests will know each other (I'm assuming). So if someone walks in and sees all these wedding pictures of random people, that might be a little weird. I think doing something like this would just be better if it was family only. </div>

SarahPLiz · May 2012

I think that putting them under water in mason jars isn't tacky, but its just weird. Like you are drwoning them. What about just using some vintage frames?

skippylouwho · May 2012

the only thing I have from my wedding is my husband, would you want him to sit on your table?

Loopyseven · May 2012

The jars are cute - I'd use pictures of you and your FI and use them as centerpieces or something though. Asking for photos from your guests is just strange. Limit it to close friends and family, or skip it all together.

erollis · May 2012

We had family wedding photos, along with flowers as our centerpieces.

I emailed, called and asked in person parents, aunts and cousins for any family wedding photos they had. Not everyone gave us a photo (as they never had wedding photos taken) and some family members gave us photos of great grandparents, etc. We received digital copies that I then fixed any scratches, dust, mold/ mildew. I then made them all b&w, printed and framed. They are now hanging on a wall with a couple of our own wedding photos. It is a nice family tree of sorts.

As for the mason jars could you do that but with a flameless candle? It seems silly to print all those images just to ruin them with water.

Summer2011Bride · May 2012

I think these are cute ideas, but I agree that it would be best to only ask parents/grandparents or siblings and very close friends. I actually think if you did some old photos of your grandparents' and parents' weddings (if they are all still married), it would be really neat, and I'm sure they would probably be OK with lending you some photos from their weddings.

hoffse · May 2012

You do realize that older photographs get ruined by water right? That's the part I don't understand. PP is right that getting duplicates is sometimes very difficult or impossible with copyright issues, and you need to be able to return originals to their owners without them being ruined, cut to fit a frame, etc. I'd just do pictures of you and your FI that you own yourself and can manipulate digitally to look old.

Meegles4 · May 2012

As PPs said, I'd stick to immediate family (parents, grandparents). Easier to control and less taxing of your guests. I also agree gathering things from guests and then returning them can be a logistical nightmare.

We did framed photos of parents and grandparents and even getting that many was a fair amount of work that required digging through storage boxes, etc.

may25bride2012 · May 2012

I agree with PPs. It's an interesting idea, but it wouldn't work out the way you hope it will. Things could break, even get stolen (you really never know). It would work for a small party, maybe a small family get together, but not a wedding. As far as being rude, you shouldn't ask your guests to bring anything. I'm not sure if this is an exception, but etiquette says guests don't bring anything.

aliciamarieee · May 2012

You could always ask people to email you scanned copies of their favorite picture from their wedding, or even their parents wedding (or set up a computer and scanner at your shower and have a BM man the scanning station for guests to have each picture scanned as they come in). Then you could print the pictures out and put them in vintage frames and set them up on a table, or use a closepin and hang them from strings around your reception.

Carla1019 · May 2012

Are all of your guests married?

If not, you might make some of your single or divorced guests feel left out that they couldn't participate. I agree with PPs, that if you did this use your family's photos not guests.

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