Standing during ceremony?

sarahxalbertson · January 2013

We are looking to have a ceremony at an outdoor location that does not allow chairs to be brought in...only for elderly guests. Which means everyone else will have to stand. Does anyone have thoughts or advice? Should we stay away from this??

MrsGandthebeag · January 2013

You will have a lot of people tell you this is rude. They say a seat for every butt. Honestly, I get that, and I know it would be the ideal situation, but we did not do this at our wedding ceremony. We got married on the beach and rented 30 chairs. We had 80 guests. Yes, people stood. Our ceremony was 10 minutes. We only had a couple elderly people and they had seats.

Jen4948 · January 2013

You need a seat for everyone. Period.

Find another location to have your ceremony at if this one will not allow for seating for everyone.

zizibet · January 2013

It's not always just the elderly people who need seats. One of my close friends has sevre back issues, and can't stand for long at all. You really need a chair for everyone.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_standing-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:7f549392-92c7-4757-8213-2779d7642f13Post:14f6c5fd-9ddd-4c77-946a-43d41766693d">Re: Standing during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]You need a seat for everyone. Put on your best clothes, a pair of high heels, and hold your purse and evening wrap. Stand in one spot for the length of your ceremony. Be sure to add at least half an hour for their arrival and the time spent waiting for you. This is rude to everyone, plus a terrible ordeal for ANYONE who has an orthopedic issue or health problem of any kind. Jen4948, ten minutes might not seem like much to you, but it's a horror for someone with physical issues. Don't think nobody minded just because they didn't complain directly to you.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Retread, I never made any such suggestion. I think it was MrsGandthebeag this comment should have been directed to, because I posted that I think everyone needs a seat.

artbyallie · January 2013

If they will allow chairs for elderly guests, there seems to be no reason they shouldn't allow chairs for everyone. I hate that excuse. What if I said I would have X "elderly" guests... where X is my total number anyway? Wonder what they would say to that. Not like they're checking IDs for seating, ha.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_standing-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:7f549392-92c7-4757-8213-2779d7642f13Post:21d415f3-9932-422b-98d4-acfe52efe47f">Re: Standing during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]ACK! Jen, I am SO sorry. I meant MrsGandthebeag. My computer is doing something weird today. The screen is scrolling up and down on its own, making it difficult to read.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Apology accepted!

libby2483 · January 2013

Everyone needs a seat. Period.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

I went to a wedding that did not have enough seats. It was pathetic. It started 30 minutes late! We were seated, but the latecomers were all standing in the back, sweating in the sunset and blinded by it, and all dressed up with no fans. It was only a dozen young guys who were friends of the couple, who graciously stood while their dates sat, but boy, did they look miserable!

Viczaesar · January 2013

A seat for every butt!

Jager1219 · January 2013

I'm with everyone above about everyone needing a seat. My FI's parents didn't believe in this (not from the US) and when I made a comment that we needed to rent a bigger tent because we went over our budgeted people (ah hem) they said, why? Just have everyone stand? I looked at them like they had 5 heads.

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

You will have happier guests who aren't trashing you behind your back if you give everyone a seat. Promise.

beardownbchs · January 2013

Yeah please have enough seats. More young people than you think have some sort of issue and cannot stand, especially in heels for very long. Even if they don't, they'll be annoyed that they're standing. People will be complaining about your lack of seats (and etiquette) instead of enjoying your wedding.

I'm 25 and have hip problems - they pop out of socket and there's no way to fix them until they completely go out and I need replacements. Heels are bad for me but I wear them occasionally - mostly at weddings. Standing is the worst for me. Even in normal shoes - I can sit, walk, hell, even run if I wanted to but standing just kills my hips. It would also be embarassing to me to be "one of the chosen ones" with a seat with the older people while everyone else in my age group is standing.

As others have pointed out, even if your ceremony is only a minute long, people will come early and I have never been to a wedding that began on time.

PLEASE have a seat for everyone.

QueerFemme · January 2013

Another vote for having a chair for every butt.

For what it's worth, I HAD a chair for every butt. But, during my ceremony, we had everyone stand and do a community acknowledgement. like "do you, the couples friends and family, pledge to support them in their journey, etc. etc. etc., if so, please affirm by saying "we do". Everyone said WE DO. But, then our officiant forgot to tell them to sit back down.

It was less than 5 minutes from that point until the end of the ceremony. And let me tell you, people were miserable. Shifting back & forth on their feet, trying to keep standing kids from not going nutsola and wanting to take off running.

Have a chair for everyone (and if you make your guests stand for something, make sure the officiant gives them the "sit down" nod).

elbow23 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_standing-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:7f549392-92c7-4757-8213-2779d7642f13Post:e32bd9ef-6a00-4b5e-b952-8b1f7d8cc16d">Standing during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are looking to have a ceremony at an outdoor location that does not allow chairs to be brought in...only for elderly guests. Which means everyone else will have to stand. Does anyone have thoughts or advice? Should we stay away from this??
Posted by sarahxalbertson[/QUOTE]

You say no chairs, but would your venue allow benches? With chairs, one person = four chair legs on the ground (and digging into the grass). With benches, though, three or four people can sit with those same four legs on the ground.

ElcaB · January 2013

That's a tough situation. If you have double checked to make sure they won't make an exception, have you tried bargaining? Maybe they are opposed to chairs, but perhaps they'd let you use long benches so there are fewer imprints on the ground? I'm not sure if what the details of your wedding are, but another option could be bales of hay covered with blankets. A last resort could be blankets right on the ground. It's not ideal, but I've seen it done before. Good luck! I feel for you.

ElcaB · January 2013

Haha, I just realized the PP also suggested benches. I posted before I read all the comments!

Standing during ceremony?

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