The first thing my FI and I did when we decided to get engaged was decide upon a date. We have immediate family all over the country and it's really important that all of them are there to share our day with us. My mom and her side of the family live on the West Coast, my dad and his side live on the East, and my FI's siblings and family splits the same way. We decided that the best time would be a holiday weekend so everyone would have enough time to get to our wedding location (Montana), wavering between either the fourth of July weekend (which also happens to be my birthday) and memorial day weekend of 2011 (after I finish grad school). We decided that memorial day weekend would be best because July is tourist season and flights and hotels increase in price by a good $100.
I just found out that my cousin who has been engaged for the past two and a half years has finally decided on his wedding date. Which is memorial day weekend this year (2010). They've changed their date a bunch of times and have been rather wishy washy about the whole thing, and I don't know why they've settled on this date since all of their family and friends live in VA and their having the wedding in VA.
Should we consider changing our date for them now so our wedding won't fall on their anniversary date?
I hardly talk to this cousin at all. I see him maybe once a year or every other year, and I've met his fiance once. We grew up on opposite ends of the country and never had anything in common. Of course I would have invited them to the wedding. I only have three cousins. My dad has three siblings and they are the only aunts and uncles that I have. I'm close to my aunts and see them and talk to them regularly. I'm just not close to their children.
Bottom line: I won't be hurt or offended if any of them can't make it to the wedding, but it's still polite and I would love to have my family all together only because I know how much it would mean to my dad and his siblings. But I don't expect them to make the trip all the way out to Montana. This cousin in particular didn't travel to Canada for our other cousins's wedding and he was a groomsman in the wedding.
Here are the reasons why memorial day weekend is important:
1. FI's siblings and I are teachers. We have the summer off. There are three holidays that fall within the summer: Fourth of July, Memorial day, and Labor Day.
Fourth of July is too expensive. By Labor day, classes are getting ready to start and we have meetings and orientations. If we get married on Labor day, my FI and I won't get to have a honeymoon until the following summer.
2. My parents and his parents are all still working. As are our closest friends. The less time they have to take off from work the better. In my father's case, he will hopefully be starting a new job (he was recently laid off). With new jobs, you have a limited amount of time off. Worst case scenario: dad can fly in on the saturday, we get married Sunday evening, and he flies back on the Monday. I am NOT getting married without my dad.
3. The weather is nicer in May in Motana than July and August (well August is nice, but it just won't work).
So, is it okay to share a wedding anniversary with a cousin? Or is this going to cause a problem?