Missing my Mom

maribeth721 · August 2012

Sappy vent.......My Mom passed away when I was in highschool, about 10 years ago. My wedding is a little over a month away. Lately I just find myself missing her so much and wishing so badly she could have met my FI and participated in our day. I read so many mother of the bride posts on here, it makes me so sad sometimes. I am just feeling overwhelmed lately. My FMIL took a month long vacation for the month of August and won't be back until about a week before our wedding. She hasn't really been involved in much of the planning, like I had hoped she would be. I think that is making me miss my Mom even more. I am just feeling very overwhelmed today with things left to do. I know it's not anyone else's responsibility to help you make centerpieces, go to dress fittings, make a seating chart, etc, etc. and FI has helped a ton with all of that stuff and has been so supporitve knowing I am dealing with this. I just know if my Mom was here she would have loved doing all of this with me. Sigh...

maribeth721 · August 2012

Thanks for all the virtual hugs ladies. They were much needed today

@k - I am so, so sorry to hear about your brother. While I don't understand exactly what you're going thru, I can very much relate. It's like we get so used to that person not being there in our day-to-day lives that becomes our new "normal." Then when important events happen it's more obvious they are not there to share with us. I have some nice things planned for the day (hopefully not too over the top). I always wear my Mom's wedding ring on my pinky finger (she was super tiny), I also am having a locket made to put a picture of her, on her wedding day, to wrap around my bouquet. On our guest book table we are having a bouquet of my Mom's favorite flowers with a memorial candle that has a beautiful poem on it, along with a small 4x6 picture of her. I actually enjoyed figuring out how to include her in the day, even though she is not here. I have a dress fitting tomorrow and it's hard when I know I have to ask someone to come with me to figure out the bustle and how to lace up the back, when my first choice would obviously be my Mom. I have a very supportive wedding party so they never whine about going to stuff like this, which I am so thankful for.

balletdawn · August 2012

I missed my dad more than usual when my wedding was near. He would have loved my H and I felt bad that I had a crappy boyfriend when he saw me last. I had a pin in my bouquet that was my dad's. It also doubled as my something blue, as it was a PSU pin. And even though they lost, we watched a PSU game while we were getting ready, so I felt like he was there in some small way.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

sandram06 · August 2012

I'm sorry you have to go through all of this without your mom. I lost my mom when I was 6 it's been 20 years. It is hard to go through life's milestones without her. I have an 18 month old, and it is so hard knowing that she never got to meet him. Stay strong, our moms are watching over us and helping make our lives and weddings awesome!!

UberBiz · August 2012

I also really like the ways you are incorporating her, even though she won't be there.. All these sad posts got me thinking about my sister, who we lost 16 years ago. She was 6. It was especially hard when my daughter turned 6 last year, I couldn't imagine the pain of losing her forever.

mmmendi · August 2012

I'm sorry that you have such a weighty reminder, I cannot imagine. It hurts to think about it. I'm glad that you have had such a supportive FI in this process.

Reading all of these posts - its hard to think about missing anyone at my wedding from immediate family. I keep typing sentences that aren't conveying what I want. Just know I have a really good intention and a really bad vocabulary. I hope you have wonderful weddings, where even if loss has occurred, the focus is on the future and knowing how they might have approved and enjoyed it with you

Missing my Mom

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