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Catholic/Hindu Interfaith Wedding

NJ3312NJ3312
in Interfaith Weddings
I'm a Catholic girl and I'm marrying a Hindu man. I couldn't be happier to be marrying him and he feels exactly the same way. But we have a very big problem, I can't find a priest that is willing to marry us. I've spoken to a few different priests and I hear the same thing everytime. They tell me they could only marry us if we only do a Catholic ceremony, in a church and if we only raise our children as Catholic. But he and I both agreed that we would do 2 ceremonies. We want to do the Hindu ceremony one day and the Catholic ceremony the following day before the reception. We also agreed it would be an interfaith home. Our children will be taught both religions and we will be by eachothers side for anything that involves religion. Has anyone else ever been in this situation and if so, how did you handle it? Does anyone know of a priest that would marry us in these terms or could someone else legally marry us other than a Catholic priest?
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Re: Catholic/Hindu Interfaith Wedding

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Marriage has a very specific meaning in the Catholic church, so in order for it to be a valid marriage, a Catholic must agree to the substance of what the church says marriage is (free, total, faithful, and fruitful- raising children Catholic), and follow the Catholic form (in a church with a priest/deacon). 

    The church does NOT compromise on the substance of marriage. This means in order to be considered a valid marriage, those things must be understood and assented to. 

     The form of marriage can be dispensed from...meaning, you can get a dispensation to not get married in a church, but the understanding of  marriage in the way that Catholics understand it must still be there. In order for a Catholic to marry someone that isn't baptized, the priest can also assist them in getting a dispensation from the Bishop to marry. However, the priest has to be confident that the Catholic's faith isn't in danger. The fact that you are not planning on raising your children catholic is a huge red flag to them.

    You cannot have 2 religious ceremonies. This is against Canon law. 

    I don't know all the rituals of a hindu wedding, but if you will have statements of belief of any kind that are contrary to the Catholic faith, it is likely you will not get a dispensation from form to marry there. 

    If you choose to marry outside of these church necessities, then you won't be able to receive any sacraments. 
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  • JenpaxtonJenpaxton
    10 Comments
    I am not a catholic.

    However, I went to a jewish/catholic wedding recently where they had a priest and a rabbi that give differnt sets of vows in the same ceremony. I'm not 100% sure he priest was catholic, but i know the family was and he looked ilke a catholic priest.

    I also know a catholic who married a non-denominatinoal christian and had to shop around for a priest untill she found one that said, "i will marry you if you promise to raise your kids catholic."  She was pregnant at the time, as well.  So i know there are priests out there who will work with you.

    My advise is keep asking priests and be selective about what you tell them.  I'm not saying outright lie but don't nring up the hindu cermony and if tehy outright ask you try to tip tpe around it by saying you dont have th details finalized yet.  Don't just ask and get a 'no' and leave it at that.  Argue your case a little, explaining that you want your marriage to be valid in the eyes of god and you want your children to be cathlic.  if you are okay with the idea, try to think of a tactful way to suggest an extra monetary donation to the church.  If you get a no, ask if they can refer you to someone else.

    Also, does it have to be in a catholic church?  There might be some priests that would do it for you if it wasn't in the physical church.  You can also probaly find a minister or non-denominatinoal offician who would be willing to do a "catholic cermony."  Most people probably won't even realize its not a 'real' catholic priest.

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  • halfbrithalfbrit
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_catholichindu-interfaith-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:abb4da7e-6436-429a-b693-cd81cbf7e2a3Post:2c4b506f-ed3c-427e-a788-9417a21175c2">Catholic/Hindu Interfaith Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm a Catholic girl and I'm marrying a Hindu man. I couldn't be happier to be marrying him and he feels exactly the same way. But we have a very big problem, I can't find a priest that is willing to marry us. I've spoken to a few different priests and I hear the same thing everytime. They tell me they could only marry us if we only do a Catholic ceremony, in a church and if we only raise our children as Catholic. But he and I both agreed that we would do 2 ceremonies. We want to do the Hindu ceremony one day and the Catholic ceremony the following day before the reception. We also agreed it would be an interfaith home. Our children will be taught both religions and we will be by eachothers side for anything that involves religion. Has anyone else ever been in this situation and if so, how did you handle it? Does anyone know of a priest that would marry us in these terms or could someone else legally marry us other than a Catholic priest?
    Posted by NJ3312[/QUOTE]

    We were in the exact same situation - FI is Hindu as well.  When we first met with my priest he was wonderful and welcoming.  He had worked with interfaith couples before and encouraged us to expose children (if we chose to have them) to both faiths and to actively take part in the various Hindu cultural festivals that his family attends. 
    I'm sorry that you're having difficulties with your church.  Have you tried visiting other churches in the area?  We found that scheduling an appointment for both of us to speak with the priest was very helpful.  Like anything else in life, there are places and people who accept you for who you are and those who refuse to do so. I hope that you find a church where you both feel welcomed and accepted. 
    If you choose to leave the Catholic church, Episcopal or Anglican churches are open to interfaith marriages and the liturgy is very similar. Good luck!
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  • Dslack1070Dslack1070
    First Comment
    I'm in the same situation.  Raised Catholic, marrying a Hindu.  There are certain requirements for a Catholic marriage that a priest can't waive.  Among them:  Only one wedding, and that is a Catholic wedding, committment to raising your kids Catholic, marriage ceremony must take place IN a catholic church.  

    We are also planning two ceremonies.  What my preist told me is that as long as we consider our Catholic cermony to be our only wedding, and the Hindu ceremony to be a celebration of the marriage which has already taken place, we're fine.  He has no problem with us raising the kids with Hindu/Indian cultural traditions, as long as we teach the kids the Catholic faith/bring them to church, have them receive the sacraments.  

    For me, I am still on the fence about a Catholic wedding.  Like the previous poster said, it's important to be in a church that accepts and supports you, and where you believe what they preach.  If you don't believe that your kids should be raised only Catholic, with no other religious teachings, then you aren't truly and honestly participating in a Catholic wedding.  

    I'd say find a priest who will actually talk to you about your options, instead of one who dismisses you outright.  Good luck!
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  • jsleikjsleik
    100 Comments
    I know you posted this awhile ago, but I haven't been checking as much lately.  I was in the same boat.  When it came down to it, I found that I couldn't stick with being Catholic anymore.  My husband is wonderful and very accepting of my faith.  He goes to church with me.  We both believe our children should be raise both Christian and Hindu.  However, that wasn't good enough for the Catholic Churchs.  So in the end, I am not Episcopalian.  He is still Hindu.  We found that the Episcopalian church was so welcoming.  From a belief stand-point, they are very similar, but are more welcoming.  Half of the people in my church were raise Catholic and converted because they want to be in a more accepting place.  I'm not saying that is the right answer for you, but it has worked for me.  It was just the last straw for me - if you won't take the man I love, who wants to raise our children with the Chuch's beliefs as well as his own, well, then you get neither of us.

    Hopefully you are able to find a more accepting priest who will let you do what you want.  You may just have to expand your search a bit more.
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  • pamin810pamin810
    First Comment
    Does anybody know a wedding planner in the Kansas City area that can help with interfaith wedding (catholic/Hindu)?
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  • Henna ArtistHenna Artist
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Hey ,
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  • smaria8985smaria8985
    First Comment
    Has anyone had success in having both a catholic church wedding and a hindu wedding on the same day or separately?
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