Rant Session

cassie072287 · December 2010

Okay, so here goes my rant:
I feel like I have had the worst luck thus far for some of my wedding things. I know others have it worse, but I am starting to lose it! First thing that happens is my Step Sister, who is 20, decides she does not want to be in the wedding. She won't come out & say it, but she is making all these excuses as to why she "can't" be in the wedding (shes in the military, can't afford dress, etc.) but they are all things I can work with. She is driving me nuts and I have no idea how to deal with her. I said some not too nice things after we went round & round, and we haven't been talking for 2 months. That alone is stressing me out. THEN, I find out my wedding reception site is going through a rebuild. Yes, in a perfect world, that would be fantastic! Having a branch new site! However, grand opening is 2 weeks before the wedding! THEN, I find out that my soon to be SIL is pregnant. The kicker is... She is due the DAY OF THE WEDDING! She is in the wedding, and I'm assuming she would love to see her only sibling get married! She said she still wants to be in the wedding, but my worst fear is her going into labor as we are reading her vows. THEN, my step brother tells me this week that he ALSO does not want to be in the wedding. He was going to be an Usher, and he is uncomfortable talking to people he doesnt know. Really?! Suck it up for an hour! please! Finally, I ask one of my close friends to be a hostess, and she accepts, GREAT! but then texts me afterwards telling me she didn't know she would need to buy a dress so she can't.... wth?! I don't know how to handle all of this... Its a lot to take in, and its really disheartening! Yes, the individuals who are a part of our day are very special to us, but I am pretty bummed about all of the above!

Sorry, I just realized this was SUPER long!

Katralex · December 2010

I'm sorry that all this is happening to you! That really sucks..

As far as the step-sister goes, I say just blow it off. If she really doesn't want to be in the wedding (for whatever reason) then you shouldn't want to include her as such an important part of your special day anyway!

And about the reception site being renovated, try not to worry.. (I know, easier said than done). But if they didn't think they would be completely ready for your wedding than they would not have agreed on the date for you. I'm sure that they would want your wedding to be perfect so that it reflects positively on them, so they will do everything they can to make that happen.

Try to relax and look at the big picture.. No matter how many things go wrong on your wedding day (and undoubtedly there will be a few), you are marrying the man you love! And that is all that matters. When you look back on your wedding day you won't care about the details.

Hope you have a good rest of your day!

musicalsunlight · December 2010

I know it can be frustrating when people you love or want to be in the wedding don't want to stand up there with you, but try to keep some positive perspective. If they really don't want to, it's probably better that they aren't rather than only being there because they feel like they have to, right? The best WP is a WP that wants to be there with you and your FI on that day. No matter what the reason, if they still are uncomfortable even if you offer to help pay for a dress, etc, its better to stop pushing than to keep trying to make them do it. I am having a similar situation with one of my friends who I asked to be a BM(and actually asked for advice about it here too!), and since she doesn't know her answer yet, I'm letting her have time to think it over and make her decision, and either way I will be happy that she will be at the wedding in some capacity. It's stressful when things don't go right as planned, but no matter what you will have a great wedding. Even if your SIL goes into labor, it might make the wedding a little "different" than others, but when you look back, it may a great story to tell!

Don't stress too much, because things will work out in the end!

GL!

Sarahsue1684 · December 2010

I see where you are overwhelmed but honestly I wouldnt get stressed about people not wanting to be in the weeding, times are tough and they may just not want to say they can't afford it. As long as they are there and attending is all that matters I think. You dont want to stress over the little things. As for the pregnant SIL she may go before or she may go after, my friend just got married and her sister was overdue and she was in the wedding and still made it. No need to stress it just alot of little things happening all at the same time that are making it seem like big deals. As for the venue as well you stated its grand opening is 2 weeks before so at least it will be done. No worries there as well. I would take a deep breath and relax everything will turn out just perfect.

MrsBassPlaya · December 2010

It sounds like you've got a lot of things piling up. It sucks that people aren't seeming to want to be more involved on your wedding day, but I would just let them opt out rather than stress about it. Fighting for two months about wedding stuff sucks. I realize you badly want your step sister to be a part of your day, but I would try to make amends and remember that she'll still be a part of your life after that day, whether or not she's in the wedding.

Also, maybe your SIL could go into labor during your vows, but look at it this way, EVERYONE would remember your wedding!

Also, who wouldn't want to share their special day with a brand new neice or nephew?

Just my perspective

newlyseliski · December 2010

That's a lot of anxiety-inducing stuff! Good luck and keep your chin up. On the bright side... fewer bouquets, bouttenieres and wedding party gifts to pay for, right??

SuperRNluvsChef · December 2010

Oh gosh I'm so sorry you're going through some stressful stuff right now! I agree with PP's about your stepsister and other family members. I know it hurts but try not to dwell on it.
As for your SIL I wouldn't worry too much about that. Women very rarely deliver on their actual due date. I could only see her missing the wedding if she delivers the day or two before your wedding and is still in the hospital. Also, if it's her first baby, most first time moms deliver after their due date. Granted, none of these are certainties but try not to stress too much, it's nothing you can control. :0) HTH

emilykathleen511 · December 2010

Your stepsister is being difficult, but just don't let it stress you out. If she doesn't show up the day of in the dress, than she has removed herself from the wedding party. There is no need to stress about it ahead of time.

As for your SIL, just don't stress. Whatever happens will happen. She didn't choose her due date. Just make sure that there is a chair set up for her in front so if she gets tired she can sit down. It's pretty exciting that you have a new niece or nephew on the way so close to your wedding!

As for your friend, there is no reason why the hostess should have to buy a new dress for your wedding. She can wear something that she already owns. Hopefully, including her is more important to you than the "look" of your day. Your friends are not props.

Hope that helps and good luck.

Steph0871 · December 2010

DItto Emily.

Out of curiosity... where's your reception? We recently got married at Profile Event Center, and they're technically in the middle of a renovation... but we never would have noticed if they hadn't told us so.

cassie072287 · December 2010

I actually told her to pick any black dress she wants, just as long as its knee length. So I believe in 8 months, she coud find something within reasonably price.

cassie072287 · December 2010

Our reception site is the Lost Spur Golf Course in Eagan. She didn't actually call me, I found out through different sources. They are actually rebuilding a whole NEW building! Which is great, as long as its done!

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