Photography

Ashly018 · February 2010

I have hired a photographer that my fiance and I love. My parents are paying for our wedding, and for the photographer, but there are some "upgrades" that I know my fiance's parents would like (parent's copy of the photo album that we receive, and larger prints). My parents have said that they are only paying for X amount, and if his parents want to pay the differents for the upgrades then that would be fine. Would it be wrong of me to bring the suggestion to them?

bbyckes · February 2010

How about you pay for it yourself?

happyhighhopes · February 2010

Not at all. If it's their prints they want, then let them pay for it.

Ashly018 · February 2010

I don't feel that I or my parents should pay for everything. I think that since it is something they would be interested in having, then they can invest a little as well. My fiance agrees. We are already getting our photo album included in the package my parents are paying for. The difference would pay for 2 photo albums for the parents, and larger prints that his mother has already requested. She can order them her self after the wedding, but it's saving them money if they order it as an upgrade on the package. I don't see why people are so negative any time someone brings up a financial aspect of the wedding. My parents are paying for the package, I would simply present my future in-laws with the option, if they choose not to do it then thats their choice, my parents will still be paying for the wedding package.

duckie1905 · February 2010

Do they know this upgrade would cost extra? Do they expect your parents' to cover the cost of their desired upgrade?

If they have expressed interest in these things that cost above what has already been booked, I think it is reasonable to ask them to cover the extra cost. You have to be delicate about it. Approach it by saying that the photography budget has already been decided and if they would like xx extras they need to pay for them. Make sure they know, however, that if they don't want to pay extra then that's fine, they just won't get the upgrades. Make sure you also give them the option of doing it later.

While I normally don't think it is appropriate to ask people to spend money unless they've offered, they've shown interest in something that costs above what you've already budgeted. It is similar to asking a parent that wants additional guests included to cover the cost above the decided budget.

I also think she should get both upgraded parents albums, though, since your parents have already decided against the upgrade. I don't think she should have to pay for your parents' upgraded album too.

Ashly018 · February 2010

So what your saying is that since they are paying for the upgrades that they would like.... besides the photo albums, the enlarged pictures, they should get all of them, and my parents shouldn't. Maybe you should think about how that would make sense to your parents. IIt's not an issue of the photo albums, it's more an issue of the prints. If the photos are being upgraded from one size to another, how do you figure she should be getting all of them. My parents are being realistin about it, and helping to save them money. If my in-laws were to buy everthing seperate after the wedding they would be spending more for the 1 photo album, and couple of picture s than I would be asking of them to pay for the upgraded package.

How about I put it another way, THEIR SON IS IN THIS WEDDING TOO, and he even feels that the idea of his parents helping to pay for something they are getting to keep that they want makes sense, and since it would be saving them money it makes even more sense.

duckie1905 · February 2010

I never disagreed with you and your desire to ask them to cover their upgrade.

As for the album, we'll have to agree to disagree. Obviously the upgraded photo size will benefit everyone and can't realistically only belong to your FMIL. I was referring specifically to the albums, not the prints.

I will also add that my MIL did pay to upgrade our album package and she received the upgraded albums. She gave one to my parents, and one to us, as a gift, but they were hers to give away. So see, I've been there and I know how it "makes sense" to my parents.

Anyway, good luck with asking your future ILs.

bbyckes · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_photography-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:103a819b-8b7d-40e2-a798-1d0e08e2c070Post:37c7a518-bad4-4ae6-94f9-725bf84caaba">Re: Photography</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't feel that I or my parents should pay for everything. I think that since it is something they would be interested in having, then they can invest a little as well. My fiance agrees. Posted by Ashly018[/QUOTE]

Well then why are you asking if you've already decided? You didn't state in your original post that you were contributing anything. Just pay what your parents are willing to pay for and his parents can always order prints later, if that;s what they want.

megk8oz · February 2010

I'm going to ditto Duckie, even if you don't agree with her on this.

If your FILs want the upgrades, then I don't see a problem with saying "My parents are paying for Package X, if you want Z, then this is the additional cost".

However, if they pay for upgrades that your parents don't want, then both sets of parents should get exactly what they paid for. Meaning your parents get the album they were willing to pay for, and his parents get the album they were willing to pay for.

EDIT: There is also the option of paying for the upgrades yourself. You don't seem to like it, but it really is an option.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

I would pay for the upgrade myself and call the parent albums gifts to the parents.

Miss Biscuit · February 2010

My FI and I are going through the exact same thing right now. My parents are splitting the cost of the photography with my FI and me 2/3 to 1/3. FI's parents want numerous upgrades, but most importantly, they want a large-sized parent's album (which as you know is really expensive).

Initially, I went to the same place you did- they want it, they can pay for it. But in speaking with FI and his sister, we decided that it might be nice for the 3 of us to pay for the album as a "gift" for FIs' parents. The album is something nice that you can wrap up and present to them. I don't know if they are contributing anything to the wedding, but I know for me, FIs' parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner. I think it's only fair to get them something nice for doing that for us. This might not be the case for you, though.

In terms of larger prints or things that they could easily order from the photographer- they should pay for those.

Photography

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