Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

First dance songs?!

Me and my FI are having issues trying to find a song to dance to.  All the ones I love he's like "no."  The closest thing I got is a "maybe".  He's not really into slow songs, let alone love songs.

How did you and your FI/husband pick out your song?


Re: First dance songs?!

  • DH and I just searched until we found a song both of us felt fit us perfectly. It helps to keep an open mind (if you find a song you love, but he doesn't, you have to let it go so you don't discount other songs because they're not the song you imagine in your head). If you have a genre you both like, start there and think outside of the box! DH hates overly sappy songs and we both love rock, so he proposed "Forever" by KISS and "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. They're not popular wedding songs, but both fit us well. We chose the former and I still love our song.
  • start a list... Maybe have your top 5 (be sure there are some in there that are not the typical first dance slow songs)... then listen to them together and listen to specifically what his criticisms are. if he has legitimate reasons for not liking them, then cross them off. After you're through them, have him make a list of 5 and do the same thing... If he won't take the time to give you suggestions or listen and discuss them then I say you get to make the decision... what are you going to do? not have a first dance because he can't decide on a song?... no. It is one song and one dance... but it's important. if he isn't going to be happy with anything you want then maybe think of another aspect of the wedding (one you don't particularly have an opinion on) and tell him he can decide on that...

    My fiance and I just went through this and it wasn't that he didn't like any of the songs i did but the song he really liked (for no sentimental reason to us) is a song that reminds me of something so far away from our relationship i couldn't imagine dancing to it at our wedding.... a song I really like he had never even heard before. In the end we have it narrowed down to several songs that mean something to US... even though they're not all typical...

    Here are a few to get your mind going:

    Michael Buble - Everything
    Ben Folds - The Luckiest
    Adele - Make you feel my love
    David Gray - This year's love
    Dave Matthews Band - Steady As We Go
    Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life
    Elliott Smith - Say Yes
    Josh Kelley - Home To Me
    Jack's Manequin - I Need You
    Dashboard Confessional - Stolen

    There's quite a mix there and i don't know if any of these fit your taste but can at least get the ball rolling. If all else fails tell him you love him and can't wait to marry him and if there is a song that really means a lot to him you would love to look into it, but if not, the ball is in  your court to make the decision on this one... Best of Luck!
  • I THINK we are dacing to Michael Jackson "Lady in My Life".  We both LOVE MJ and he's really excited about picking a song to dance to since he loves music.  I like this song too, but I'm kind of torn because it's not very well-known.  But we dance around to it in our kitchen so it's got some special meaning to us :)  I say, if it's something he's interested in, let him help pick it, because it's pretty rare to get our guys involved it seems like! :)
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  • My fiance and I chose "Can You Feel the Love" by Elton John, simply because the credits were rolling after watching the Lion King, and that was when he first told me he loved me!

    Maybe you could just think of a song that the two of you share a mutual love for, maybe a 'guilty pleasure' song that the two of you have and have only shared between each other, or a song that plays on the radio and just makes both of you smile!

    Like others have said, it doesn't have to me a slow song, or a romantic love song, as long as it is something meaningful to you both in whatever way and always makes the two of you happy!!
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  • I'm having a similar problem, except my FI is very opinionated on the songs he wants as our first dance.... all of them are from the soundtrack of the movie Urban Cowboy. I don't like his choices, and he doesn't like mine. I don't know what we're going to do haha
  • I chose lyrics I love and a genre he likes. I could not ask for more - Edwin McCain is our first dance song :) Then again he hasn't disagreed much at all.
  • I would like it to be me and my FI choice however, if he tells me to chose it would be 
    Share My Life By KEM. I love that song
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  • If he likes punk, there's an amazing, amazing slower cover of The Cure's Just Like Heaven that I think would make a great first dance song! It is slow, but it's also originally by The Cure which could be a nice compromise!
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  • Our first dance song has been a battle from the start. It seems we finally agree and his sisters go and change his mind....awesome, thanks.
    He seems to be stuck in the 80's one-hit-wonders or something super old and over done from Brian Adams. I'm trying to get him to go with "Then" by Brad Paisley. It's country, but the words are so amazing!
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  • Our first dance song is "You Are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne.  It's upbeat but the words make me SO teary!  We also thought about Jack Johnson!
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: First dance songs?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our first dance song is "You Are the Best Thing" by Ray LaMontagne.  It's upbeat but the words make me SO teary!  We also thought about Jack Johnson!
    Posted by emmily429[/QUOTE]

    I <strong>LOOOVE</strong> Ray LaMontagne!!! If I didn't have a budget, I would pay ungodly amounts of money to have him sing at my wedding! :)

    I love just about every kind of music genre (except gangster rap, it scares me) so I am having a hard time narrowing it down. Some in the punk/rock/alternative area that i came up with-
    Into the Mystic - Van Morrison (Wallflowers did a slower cover to this, also an option)
    Brighter than Sunshine - Aqualung
    Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol (my favorite band, I could put every song in my wedding)
    Wedding Song - Bob Dylan (others have covered, maybe listen to those too)
    Diamond on the Inside - Ben Harper
    Just Watch the Fireworks - Jimmy Eat World

    You could also look into the Weepies and Nickel Creek if you guys are into folk.

    (I have some more, but I don't want to give you a million songs to go through.)

    At the moment the song I want to do is Your Song by Ellie Goulding.
  • I am having the same problem - he likes punk, or really anything that's NOT popular. I do not.  Everything I like, he vetoes, and everything he suggests, I can't stand.  It's actually the only thing we've really fought over during this whole process, and we haven't discussed it since a big argument about 2 months ago.  I told him we have to try again soon since our wedding is 2 months away! So if you come up with a good compromise, I'd love to hear it!
  • We are doing train marry me...Me and my F met back up again in a bar and love coffee. Just sounds like us, plus he waited for me to get over a bad break up. it was perfect for us. Laughing plus our song meet in the middle by diamond rio is really hard to dance too Wink
    The Future Mrs. Rittgers.
  • My fiance announced one day out of nowhere that he had chosen our song.  I was surprised as I didn't know it was anything he was even thinking about.  He selected Blue Eyes by The Carey Brothers.  Its not a very well known song at all.  It is on the Garden State sound track, which is significant to us because when we first started dating we both said that was one of our favorite movies, which we thought was ironic.  We watched it together and I burnt the soundtrack onto a cd which we took on a camping trip together.  I'd liked all the music but never really payed particular attention to that song until he informed me that it was going to be our wedding song. Now I think its one of the most beautiful songs I've heard and I love that he came up with it on his own!
  • My husband and I had the hardest time as well because he didn't want a 'girlie' song. We picked Tangled up in You by Stained. Has a manly quality that my husband liked but still a sweet slow song.
  • im sorta punk my self. for the past year i've had my heart set on "baby i was made for you" by she and him. but out of the blue i decided i wanted to change it. we're going with "poor song" by the yeah yeah yeahs. fi is really into music as well and he's suggested quite a few choices. "the luckiest" by ben folds is an amazing song. and not too overdone. "first day of my life" by bright eyes is amazing but a little over done. foo fighters' "everlong" would be a really cute choice. there is an acoustic version if u really needed to slow it down a bit. and if u wanna be really offbeat - theres a song called "fear of dying" by jack off jill. i suggest maybe as a compromise (if ur dj will do it) he sucks it up and lets u pick the first dance song and u in turn, give him 5 or 6 songs to be played throughout the reception that arent necessarily wedding songs. we are doing this ourselves, because there are alot of songs that mean alot to us and aren't slow or aren't first dance worthy in my eyes! good luck.
  • We have two songs that are our songs, but chose one. The one we chose is "Hard man to love" from Kevin Fowler, my fiance' always sings it to me, and he proposed to me at KF concert during that song. There's never been a doubt that that would be our first dance.
  • We went with Everything by Lifehouse.  The lyrics are really something.  There are so many great songs out there, but it's one of those things that you'll just know.  When I heard it, I got so emotional that I just knew that this was it.  Good luck.
  • FI & I are using When You Got a Good Thing by Lady Antebellum. We love that song and he used it when he proposed to me :)
  • My FI and I knew what song we were dancing to almost right away, we wanted some that was romantic but different. We found a beautiful song that is sung by Lauryn Hill. It is romantic, different, and completely us!
  • I think we are doing a salsa to "Fever" - not at all a slow love song, but I want to make it a bit of a surprise for the guests...which is probably not going to work since I'm so excited about it I keep telling everyone :)
  • Our relationship was completely unexpected. He was supposed to be the rebound and totally not my type and I was just a dare. The song that fit "us" was "I Never Knew I Needed" by Ne-yo. Good luck with finding a song. If he won't help you decide ask a friend if they know of a song that they think fits you.
  • "Lucky" by Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat
  • I'm leaning toward "Crazy Love" by Van Morrison. Not sure if will go with his version or Michale Buble's version. I haven't really gotten much response from my fiance. I think he will like whatever I decide on. He doesn't seem to have much opinion on the song.
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  • Choosing our first dance song was easy. There is a song called "All I Have to Say" from the Last Unicorn movie. Animated movie from the 80's based off his favorite book. He likes to sing this song to me and actually used it to propose. It was very sweet. I could not think of dancing to anything else.
  • My husband is a musician so you would have thought this one would have been a gimme... and it wasn't.  4 things:

    1 - If he's into other styles of music, try finding a somewhat obscure cover of a song you like (you'd be amazed what some of these punk, alternative and metal bands cover!) so you get the sappy lyrics and he gets the genre

    2- If your wedding planning is going like most weddings I've witnessed, then you're doing most of the planning and final decision making anyhow, so just throw him a bone and let him pick the song.  Let him know it's important to you that the song he picks has meaning to him, and give him a chance to explain his choice.

    3 - Who says you need to have a "first dance song" any how?  Screw tradition, just start off the party!  Or if you can't bear to go quite that against the grain, take a spin on what a friend of mine did with her dad at her wedding - start with a few bars of the sappy song you love, then have it bust into something more party appropriate and get the rest of the wedding party and your guests out to join you (ie they started with some sappy tune and about 40 seconds in it transitioned to the chicken dance)

    4 - Your wedding is seriously one day.  Yes right now it seems as if every single detail is make or break, but honestly, it's so not.  I barely remember any of the songs that were played at our reception, and since your relationship is likely to continuously change over the course of your marriage, the song that fits your on your wedding day may not fit as perfectly 5 or 10 or 25 years from now.  So really don't kill yourself over it :o)  At the end of the day, what matters is that you're married, and that you've committed to spend forever together no matter what song you dance to!
  • My husband and I dance to Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus because it was the first song he ever played on guitar/sang for me. :)

    We didn't dance to this because it wasn't out at the time, but I also really love the song in one of our videos, it's A Thousand Years by Christina Perri:
  • We chose "Crazy" by Adele for our fist dance. It just reminds us of each other and it was one of the first songs we heard new separatly without telling the other about it :) And I really am Crazy for him, and he me!
    I'm sorry, but "I'll Be" is a bad choice unless you're a cliche couple. But that's jsut me, that song got on my nervves ever since the frst time I heard it...

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  • We took a community ed dance class and the instructor gave us a list of songs commonly used at wedding dances with the type of dance that fit that song.  So, since we just learned to waltz, we found the ones with the "w" next to them, and picked one that we both knew.  Open Arms by Journey
  • We are doing either Usher OMG or Katy Perry Teenage Dream. Both of those songs make us laugh, he proposed to Ray Lamontage Best Thing but I'd rather keep that song intimate between us. Besides I find dancing in circles is awkward with people watching us, we'd rather do a fun dance that makes people laugh since laughing is what we love to do. Too many people put so many expectations on the first dance, in all honesty of all the wedding's I've been in and gone to I can only remember one first dance and it was because the bride and groom did a dance routine to a Justin Timberlake song and it was amazingly funny and just their style. So pick something you both like and go for it, in a year no one is going to remember your first dance.
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