eloping, city hall, or big fancy wedding?

catwine · August 2012

On todays QOTD some of the posts were joking about eloping but it got me thinking about my ow wedding and how its turning out. I have absolutly NO regrets about marrying my fiance. i love him so much and can't wait to start a life together!
but i sometimes think of all the stuff thats been done and the money thats been spent for our wedding and i wish we just had a simple civil ceremony. or maybe something with a pastor but still very simple and only with a few guests.

i originally wanted a civil ceremony with just 25 people for a reception at a restu but our mothers said no...i feel like they are trying to relive thier own wedding through mine.
our wedding is very "us" and what we want but we still would have preferred something much smaller and even more simple.

how about you? are you planning your dream wedding or have you made sacrifices? is there anything you would do differently?

trawas01 · August 2012

I wanted to walk down to city hall and be done with it.

FI was scared shitless of both sets of parents if we did that.

We're having a moderate sized wedding (about 90 people) that is really more about getting all our families together for a weekend to have a good time and to introduce them all to the place we now live and fell in love with. We're doing it our way, its relaxed and fun.

I don't regret the wedding so much...I do regret what I could have done with all the money thats involved. I don't regret how happy its made my Mom to help plan it. I do regret alot of the stress that it has brought along.

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

I'm totally happy we are doing a "fancy" wedding. I wouldn't have wanted to elope or go to City hall.....however spending this much to do so, I don't particularly like!

mrshall1027 · August 2012

I really wanted to cancel everything earlier this year and just get married on a beach with the people that are closest to us, but FI didn't want all our deposits to go to waste. I don't regret having the big wedding, but I do regret spending all the money. When we look back at it, I know it will be everything we both wanted for our wedding.

jessiflower · August 2012

We have been on a pretty strict budget...but for the most part, very happy with our decision to have a big fancy wedding...lots of DIY-ing....I have learned its possible to be stressed out and happy all at the same time

goatlady12 · August 2012

I really wanted a Vegas wedding. It was more important to me to have my family there. A lot of them would not be able to come if it was in Vegas, so we decided to do it here. So either way I wouldn't have gotten exactly what I wanted.

minionlover · August 2012

We are doing exactly what we wanted. A small wedding on the beach. I just wish more of FI's family could be there.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

I thought about a small wedding with just the parents but then what about FI sister and kids and my bestest friend in the whole world and so and so etc. Where do you draw the line for elope/city hall? Then you say, well I just want to invite a few close people, but then there are Aunts and Uncles and your parents friends and well there you go....I think for me I wanted to celebrate with my friends and family because I like to party and happily both sets of parents chipped in so the cost has been spread around a bit so I don't feel AS guilty as I might if I paid for the whole thing.

PattySmith101 · August 2012

i would have loved a destination wedding on a white sand beach looking out at the ocean! BUT what think about that made me realize alot of important people in my life would not have been able to afford to come or able to come due to work/kids etc etc and it was more important to me to have my loved ones there!!! ]

I am more than happy with what we < by we i mean i /> have planned! i am very excited and know we will have an amazing wedding! big and fancy is the way to go for us lol! i would have never eloped/ jop because i know i would regret it later!

as for the $ sure i wish it could still be ours and used for other things! But this is gonna be one heck of a party!!!

abricadabra · August 2012

The more time that passes, and the more my bank account shrinks as we pay off vendors and order the tiny details, the more stressed I get, and in turn, the more I wish we had just done the cruise ship wedding we had originally planned! 5k for 25 people, and we could have gone straight on our honeymoon! That's 1/3 of what we're spending! We actually did really well keeping within our budget having the wedding on a Thursday definitely helped, but I still hate to think of all the home improvements that we could have gotten done with that hard earned cash! All in all, I don't regret it, though. Once it's here and all over too soon, I know I'll look back on it as a good experience. After all, I AM marrying my best friend! ;

mana8503 · August 2012

I probably would have eloped/JOP but FI JOP'd his first marriage and wanted something different. My mama would disown me if I eloped as she wanted a wedding wedding for me (but paid by me lol).

I'm happy with the choices we made, but like others said... when the wedding fund shinks I start second guessing. I had a car accident settlement that paid for half of it... and I kept thinking, if only I could use this to pay off this and that... but oh well. We'll have a GREAT day with great memories.

CarolineandDean · August 2012

We are having the wedding that I've always wanted. I've sacrificed here and there to cut costs, but for the most part, it really is what we envisioned. The only thing I would change is our guest list. We originally only wanted 100 people or less, but when we started getting input from our parents, things got a little crazy. As of now, we're looking at around 140 guests, so hopefully that number will stay put.

amandaorgan · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_eloping-city-hall-or-big-fancy-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:b61adecc-f1cb-465a-8039-8119a00d260bPost:3a1d7845-919f-40cb-a80b-f2d05ce2829a">Re: eloping, city hall, or big fancy wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>i would have loved a destination wedding on a white sand beach looking out at the ocean! BUT what think about that made me realize alot of important people in my life would not have been able to afford to come or able to come </strong>due to work/kids etc etc and it was more important to me to have my loved ones there!!! ] I am more than happy with what we < by we i mean i /> have planned! i am very excited and know we will have an amazing wedding! big and fancy is the way to go for us lol! i would have never eloped/ jop because i know i would regret it later! as for the $ sure i wish it could still be ours and used for other things! But this is gonna be one heck of a party!!!
Posted by PattySmith101[/QUOTE]

<div>This exactly. My mom has even said multiple times that I should have done a destination wedding (both in jest and seriously) and I would have loved that, but I will love getting to see all of my friends and family there!</div>

mmmendi · August 2012

I honestly would have been perfectly happy with a ceremony at my parents home with family roughly 2530 guests. That would not have been fair to FI lol As we have stressed and planned, and wondered I worried about etiquette and this being a second marriage for both of us... I also realized how blessed we are to have so many friends and family that are thrilled for us and excited to share this moment with us. I don't think I would change a thing but I should have planned to win the lottery ; right? ETA 25-30 not 2530 lol

achiduck · August 2012

We're having a fairly large wedding given the size of our families. I originally wanted to do a small cake and punch afternoon wedding with closest family and friends at a local restaurant but FI was the one who really wanted the night reception with the full dinner and dance party.

In the end, I'm happy with our choice even so sometimes I wish we invited a few less people.

NRod70 · August 2012

I wouldn't call mine a "fancy" wedding, but I do have a bit of tradition in there. Church wedding, country club reception (about 80 people, buffet style). I had a budget originally of $10k but in the end it will be just over 14. I don't care. I know to some people that doesn't sound like a lot of money, but to us it is. We've both waited a long time for a wedding...both of us thought we would never marry (we're both 40) and had enough crappy relationships over the years.

I cut corners and did a lot of DIY so we could have a nicer reception. Originally we were just going to rent a hall. Really, all we want is to have a beautiful day with family and our closest friends...oh, and full bar. lol

mlperkins12 · August 2012

We really went back and forth between a big wedding and a DW with immediate family. Hindsight being 20/20 I wish we had done the DW and were not worrying about all of these tiny details, like table numbers. While I think our wedding day will be spectacular and very true to who we are, bigger isn't always better. I think we could have had just as special of a time with a small DW for immediate family.

mbuckley85 · August 2012

I originally wanted to get married on the cape, on the beach. I would have settled for a service done by a justice of the peace if we were traveling for the service. It would have been a "fancy" wedding as well, I'm sure, but we would have been able to scale our numbers back a little more because of the traveling.

FI's mother thought the idea of getting married 4 hours away from where we live was absolutely ridiculous. So we started searching for places here.

I had told FI early on, that I absolutely refused to get married close to home without involving my church somehow. Since FI is Jewish, this complicated things a little. We ended up talking to the church and finding out that we could get approval to be married by a deacon at the location that our wedding is at from the bishop. It was also approved for us to have a rabbi there, the FI's rabbi refused to participate due to the nature of our service (more like a Catholic wedding ceremony than anything else). We are incorporating some Jewish elements but not many.

Our wedding is going to be a "big and fancy" one. My parents as well as his, really wouldn't have it any other way. I'm the first daughter to be married of three girls and the most traditional one, so if my parents couldn't do it big with me they were not guaranteed to be able to do it big with any of us.

There is almost nothing "DIY" about our wedding. Thank God, because I am a perfectionist and I could never be happy with things I did myself. I know I would constantly be thinking they didn't "look good enough" no matter how good they looked!

I absolutely cannot wait to marry FI in 46 days at the wedding of our dreams!

Ividian · August 2012

I'm having the wedding I want, FI mentioned eloping a couple times, and I did think about doing that at a nice VT Inn, a long weekend just with FI etc. But I know I would miss the big party with my family afterwards, so we didn't elope.

bkhokie27 · August 2012

This is the 2nd marriage for FI and me. He eloped the first time and I had the traditional thing. We're meeting in the middle with this wedding. It will be traditional but on a smaller scale: 25 people total (my side of the guest list will have active roles in the wedding--i.e. minister, photographer, MUA, guest book attendant), FI is making the food for the reception, and we are having professionals do the cake and flowers. I think this wedding is totally "us" and I'm not too worried about how things go--I'm more focused on starting our lives together/building a strong marriage because that (sadly) wasn't a priority with my first marriage.

bride2bnVA · August 2012

If it was up to me we would have been married in Vegas last December....but FI wanted something where family and close friends could attend. I have already had a big a wedding, and he eloped the first time around. This time we are meeting in the middle...ceremony at local chapel and afterwards everyone is invited to our home to celebrate. I still wish we had done the Vegas thing, but that is b/c it is impossible for me to keep things simple.

nani1012 · August 2012

I wouldn't change anything! I love what we did. No regrets on doing a destination wedding to Niagara Falls. If we had it at home, would have cost more. There are some ppl I would love to see, but some were still traveling far for the wedding (FI has family all over the world and the US, most of mine live in DC). The problem with DC was that it would've cost too much and FI and I didn't want to spend that much money. Overall we are very happy, both of US planned it with my mom. Mom ran with whatever idea we gave her and tried to make it happen if it didn't cost too much. FYI: my parents offered to pay and gave us 2 options A) huge wedding (25000$) or

smaller wedding with a down payment for a house....we chose option B!

futuremrsjdmartin · August 2012

Were having a small wedding with about 75 invited guests though we only expect 50 to show up. Its a small park wedding with familiy making the food and cake and decorations. Our wedding relatively low key but still trying to keep it classy and with a few small traditions. Although we are not getting legally married at our ceremony so we are going to be doing a courthouse wedding to legalize it sometime next year.

Shawn69 · August 2012

We are having a very small ceremony with only about 30 people (immediate family only). I admit that I would love all the glamour and glitz, but I just can't afford it.

eloping, city hall, or big fancy wedding?

Re: eloping, city hall, or big fancy wedding?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards