Hi everyone. I need some help and thought you all might have some advice for me. I'm planning on getting engaged to my girlfriend of over a year but I'm having trouble coming up with ways of doing it.
I feel like she would want a kind of classic proposal with some kind of creative twist. But how do you do that and keep it classic? What kind of things do you make up and what kinds of things is she probably going to expect me to do to make it feel "right"? In your opinion is there anything a guy can do (or not do) that would make it disappointing? Please be as honest as possible! Thank you.
Re: Proposal ideas for a guy?
Do you have a fav restaurant? My fi proposed at a small restaurant that we go to all the time. He had the owner write will you marry me in chocolate on a white plate.
every woman is different. some women dream of a huge elaborate proposal out in public. but i think most of us would love for it to be a private, intimate moment. like amoro said, most of us would even love it when we wake up in the morning and least expect it!
My Married Bio
My Planning Bio
CFL Knottie Bio
Try to think of things that remind you of good times you've had together, things you like to do together, something that makes you think of her or shows her how much you lov her.
(Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
(Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
[QUOTE]Do you have a fav restaurant? My fi proposed at a small restaurant that we go to all the time. He had the owner write will you marry me in chocolate on a white plate.
Posted by adamnkel[/QUOTE]
That's really sweet. I was actually thinking about doing it at the restaurant we had our first date. The only thing with that is that I don't know if it would be a bad idea to do it in front of a bunch of strangers...I think she might prefer something private like others have said. Is doing it at home too unexciting/unromantic?
P.S. thanks for all the feedback so far everyone!
My FI proposed to me while I was sick in bed in my pajamas, before he had a ring. He just couldn't wait any longer to do it, and it means so much to me. Orchestrated huge productions are really overrated--carry the ring around with you and wait for the moment to make itself!
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Perfect, I tell ya. The when, where, and how don't matter near as much as the "will you marry me?" part.. I promise!
My fiance wasted four months trying to come up with the right way to propose to me. In the end, he picked a spot and just did it. It was perfect. Not because of where he picked (although he picked well) and not because it was a grand gesture (like a horse and dressed as knight. Good lord, I know someone who did this), but because he was so nervous and excited. I can't think of a moment when I adored him any more than that.
Good luck and let us know what you end up doing!
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
My FI actually asked (What I thought to be "years" before the proposal was "supposed" to come) what I'd be comfortable with, because he is super-OCD about things being perfect. I told him I only had 2 requests regarding the proposal:
1) I wanted him to get my parents blessing first, and
2) I didn't care what he did, I just wanted to know "more than 5 seconds of thought" went into it.
Part 2 was mainly because I'd been proposed to by another guy before, it he did it pretty much just to end an arguement, so I wanted to know however it went down, that he took the time to actually think about what kind of commitment getting engaged was.
The conversation ended with us pretty much saying since we knew we'd have to pay for a wedding and we didn't want a long "official" engagement, that he'd ask in a year or so.
It wound up happening about a month later when we closed on our condo together. He had the realtor get him into the house after the final walk-through but before the closing, where he filled the living room with flowers. After we signed all the papers, he said "Let's see our new 'home'". I walked in and see the flowers and starting gushing about how sweet he was and how exciting this whole thing was, when he interrupts me and says "Just listen for a sec". Then he got on one knee and asked.
Turned out, before he even asked me about my "requests", he already had a ring and a few different ideas up his sleeve.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
Other than that - do something that is meaningful. I've ridden horses all my life, and FI has come to love horses too. He proposed at Churchill Downs, which is the home of the Kentucky Derby. Not only did we get engaged - but we won every race we bet on that night, too. My FI knew I didn't want a public proposal, so even though there were thousands of people around, nobody was paying any attention to us, and it was perfect.
Just find something that feels right - something that you'll both love looking back on - and it will be perfect for you too.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
So don't do it on Christmas or Valentine's day? What about a birthday or anniversary? Or should it have it's own day in your opinion?
And what about asking her folks for permission? Did your guys do that or no? It sounds like guys still go down on their knee. Is that still pretty universal? Anything else I should keep in mind?
Valentine's Day isn't inherently good or bad - it all depends on you and her and your relationship.
Some girls like the guy to ask the parent's permission. I told my FI absoutely NOT to do that. It is my decision and mine alone who I marry - but that's just me. If you're not sure, ask her best girlfriend.
Down on one knee is still good.
Is there anyting your girlfriend has always wanted to do, but never had the chance? Someplace she's been bugging you to go? Those would be a good starting point.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
My fiance did not get down on one knee, but I know that my sister's fiance did. Again, you're going to be in the moment. Do what feels natural!
And, my fiance talked to my parents before he asked me. This meant a great deal to my parents, especially my father. I know a lot of people find this outdated and "offensive" in some way, but my father was so touched that he cried.
My sister's fiance didn't ask and, while her engagement was only a few months after mine, my parents did get over the fact that he didn't ask them. All is well with both of us.
You know her family. If her parents and her want and appreciate the gesture, go ahead. If she has strong feelings the other way, then respect those as well.
It was perfect because he knew I wanted it to be intimate and on a totally random day. I love that he planned things for us to do after the proposal to keep the romance going! He also asked my parents permission about a month before he proposed! Which was important to me and them!
Hope some of that helps! Good luck with everything and just know that she will love whatever you decide to do because the most important part is the actual proposal not the extra fluff!
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
Stop stressing. Just do it.
He did get down on one knee, which I thought was pretty sweet.. I think that it doesn't matter which day you do it, but if you do it on any other day, it will be a special day just for you two, instead of it being a holiday.. just do whatever day you feel happy with!
I got home from work, gave him his birthday presents and then he got down on one knee and asked. Turns out he had arranged to have my parents meet us for dinner at the place we had our first date. I'm really close with them so it was great to share dinner with them, but the fact that the proposal was private and just us made me feel much more comfortable crying and being ridiculous haha.
I'd say you should probably at least talk to someone who WONT spoil the surprise. Maybe her dad can keep a secret and it's nice to have the family know what's coming. My parents were happy he called them the week before and asked for my mother's ring setting to propose to me with.
[QUOTE]Is there anyting your girlfriend has always wanted to do, but never had the chance? Someplace she's been bugging you to go? Those would be a good starting point.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
Hmm...a couple things come to mind. Would it be a bad idea to do it on a camping trip? Or on vacation in general? Is she going to sense something's up?
It sounds like it could go both way with the parents.
If she doesn't have a clear preference, would you say the safest bet would be to talk to the parents beforehand? I wouldn't want to disrespect anyone or make her feel like I skipped out on something.
@lilgina64 I like that he had something planned for you guys afterward and got your parents involved.
Did most of you want to go do something afterward to celebrate or just end the day privately with him? Would you prefer having a romantic dinner before or after your proposal?
Honestly - don't over think it too much. I'm only telling you that because my fiance debated for *four* months over these types of decisions. In the end, it was perfect because he stopped trying to make it grand and awesome and was just himself.
That aside, I think having something planned for afterwards is a lovely idea. Maybe go eat at the restaurant, take a walk to ask, and come back for dessert with everyone waiting. Or go on the camping trip, ask right before you leave (odd timing, she won't expect it), then have friends and family waiting at your house for when you get home.
Did we do something romantic afterwards? Ha... well... I was proposed to on a Sunday and was sick as a dog with kidney stones for the next week. We didn't get a romantic dinner or even champagne to nearly two weeks afterwards. But it was wonderful to finally celebrate!
I'd say call her parents and let them know you are proposing. There is a big difference between "asking permission" and "telling them". Most women wont be upset if you tell their parents ahead of time unless the parents spoil the surprise. But I can see how some women get upset that they feel like chattle.
FWIW he proposed, took me out to dinner wiht my parents, then we came home to have some alone time(we already lived together). So it was nice to share the moment with them but also that we got our private time together.
A vacation would be fun and you could plan a welcome home dinner to celebrate and annouce it when you get back. Just be prepared to spend a good hour on the phone with all the women in the family gushing haha
In the end as long as you say "will you marry me", you're doing it right
I know my husband told his parents he was proposing to me before he told my parents. but unless they want to be included in the dinner or something there isnt much in the way of stuff for them to do that i can think of. you could include both sets of parents at a welcome home dinner if they live close enough