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gift for multiple marriage


A friend recently was remarried for the third time and the bride for the fourth time.
A reception is planned for the couple.  Should we take a gift or not?  On the invitation there is no indication of NO GIFT !!  What is the proper etiquette? HELP!

Re: gift for multiple marriage

  • It would be rude to write "no gifts" on the invitation.  If you want to give a gift then do so, if not then don't.  And delete all that extra space at the bottom of your post.
    Married 10/2/10
  • The number of times someone has been married previously has no official bearing on what is appropriate in terms of gifts.  Give what you want, whether that's nothing, a card, a picture frame, something from their registry (if they have one), or $10,000 cash.  Do what works for you.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Ditto squirrly. They are still getting married and starting a new life together. Chances are they want cash, hence the "no gifts". Give whatever you would give someone getting married the first time.
  • I've always seen gifts as part of a celebration.  So any gifts you give them would be to celebrate this marriage.  I'm guessing they probably don't need a toaster but you can still get them something. 
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  • While a gift is never mandatory, especially if you've given either or both of these people previous wedding gifts, I'd have trouble showing up empty handed.

    I think a small, token gift would be sufficient, unless you have something special in mind.  I might do a nice botle of wine or two, maybe in one of those cute wine suitcases, a gourmet goody basket, gourmet kitchen gadgets, a pretty vase, or just a gift card.
  • Actually I would probably take into consideration how many times someone has been married, when giving a wedding gift. They probably don't want a toaster etc. If the invitation said no gifts I would probably give a card with a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or something. 
    "does this sweater make me look fat?" "no, the fact that your fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple".
  • I don't think it would matter much how many times they were married, but do what you want. 
    image
  • All - the OP said she's surprised the invitation DID NOT say "No Gifts" - in other words, no information was given about gifts, as is appropriate.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    I was recently married for the second time.  My wife has never been married before.  We did not put "no gifts" on the invitations, because any reference to gifts on the invitations (even if it is "no gifts") is considered tacky.  Most people brought gifts.  Some did not.  We appreciated the gifts.  We also appreciated the people who did not let their inability to give a gift stand in the way of their coming to celebrate with us.
  • I give a significantly smaller gift for a second wedding. I wouldn't give anything more than a card for a third wedding, and I'm sorry, but I think it's extremely poor taste to have a reception for a fourth time bride, third time groom. Unless it was family or a very close friend (or I thought it was going to be a GREAT party), I doubt I would go. FWIW, this is my second marriage.
  • My step sis had a reception for her 3rd marriage.  Her first husband litteraly walked out on her.  Went to the store and never came back after only 6 months of marriage.  Her second husband died.  She managed to pull herself together after losing that amazing man and found another equally amazing man (this is his 2nd marriage).  Why should this marriage be less celebrated because she lived through the tragedy of having the father of her children die in her arms?  Without knowing the circumstances of what brought those two people to have multiple marriages I think it's rude to say they are in poor taste for celebrating finding each other. 
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