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Going to Go Off (Event Planning) Maybe long

kbval0512kbval0512
First Comment
in African American Weddings
Okay ladies this is a headache and unneccessary stress that I don't need. Let me begin. On Monday I send my Maid/Matron of Honor an email letting them know that I have picked the days that my Bridal shower and Bachelorette parties can be held. So if they would like to start planning and getting things together with the other 3 bridesmaids in the WP. Well on yesterday my sister(Maid of Honor) informed me that Our Godsister (Matron) were talking a little and thought that it would be a great idea to have it at a restaurant. i know I can't tell them how to plan something that they are hosting. So I was like please tell me you guys are not thinking about making my guest pay for their own food if they want to eat... I'm like excuse me this s*** is tacky and is not cute at all. I don't care if it is a really nice place. I'm like you will not embarrass me or yourself. My sister was like that's what our Godsister which is already married did. Had it at a restaurant and people that came paid for their food and drinks. Honestly I'm not liking this idea what so ever, I don't care who did what? Please don't do it with mines. Once again I know I can't tell them how to plan these events but that's just horrible. Ladies, am I over reacting about this matter. What is your intake on guests paying for their food/beverages? What's wrong with someone's home, a club house, community center or even a conference room at a hotel.
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Re: Going to Go Off (Event Planning) Maybe long

  • mikimoto6mikimoto6
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it is poor taste to invite someone to a shower and ask them to pay for food and beverages.  I don't mind paying for a bachelorette outing, but I would not advise for a shower.  

    Can the restaurant create a special menu or do a appetizer and/or dessert display for the number of people on your guest list and your BM pay for that?  If people want something outside of what the hosts provide then they can purchase those items on their own.  
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  • djscatdjscat
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  It is tacky to ask your guests at a shower to pay for their own food and drink.  LIke you said in the post have it at someones house not a a resturant.  The WP can even do a potluck style if they are concerned about money.  A cake and some punch does not cost that much.  JMHO.  Hope it all works out for you.
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  • flasweetheartflasweetheart
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree  if I'm going to a wedding shower then I would expect food to be provided. I know that my bridal shower is being held at one of the Hyatt place hotels here. My godmothers sister works there and we are renting out one of their meeting room spaces and providing food.  You may tell them to check into that if they don't want to do it at someones home.
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  • FabbiegirlFabbiegirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_going-off-event-planning-maybe-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2a8186ac-8eb5-45f4-a342-179e505100bcPost:9ca300eb-8461-4ee2-b10b-6ebef53034ee">Re: Going to Go Off (Event Planning) Maybe long</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it is poor taste to invite someone to a shower and ask them to pay for food and beverages.  I don't mind paying for a bachelorette outing, but I would not advise for a shower.   Can the restaurant create a special menu or do a appetizer and/or dessert display for the number of people on your guest list and your BM pay for that?  If people want something outside of what the hosts provide then they can purchase those items on their own.  
    Posted by mikimoto6[/QUOTE]

    <div>So this.  People should not pay at a shower.  I would rather do it at a friends house with cake and punch instead of making them pay.  Try to suggest about the restaurant doing a special menu for the ladies.  I think that would work.</div>
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  • simbidisimbidi
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG!  I feel your pain!

    In my case.... they are not calling it a shower, just an outing/gathering to celebrate.  But still...
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  • EsquireJLEsquireJL member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree wih the PP. Asking your guests to pay for their food and drinks at a shower is tasteless. You can't expect guests to pay and bring gifts. Here are some options:

    1. Hosts pay for your guests at the current restaurant.
    2. Hosts pay for your guests at another place that is cheaper (ie a prix fixe brunch or tea party).
    3. Hosts have the shower at someone's home and provide the food.
    4. Hosts can have bbq/shower and provide the food.
    5. Hosts can rent a community room/church space/ meeting space and provide the food.

    There are options but mind you they all have the word HOST in them and you are not hosting if you are asking other people to pay.
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  • kbval0512kbval0512
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone that is my whole point. Because of them acting like they don't have any class. I am having a mandatory bridal meeting next month with them. I'm not trying to turn into Bridezilla so if they know what's best then they would just do things in order so it would be less stressful on all parties involved.
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  • ThunderKitten2011ThunderKitten2011 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_going-off-event-planning-maybe-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2a8186ac-8eb5-45f4-a342-179e505100bcPost:713d5061-492c-4a7d-bdc2-1dcdee511020">Re: Going to Go Off (Event Planning) Maybe long</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone that is my whole point. Because of them acting like they don't have any class. I am having a mandatory bridal meeting next month with them. <strong>I'm not trying to turn into Bridezilla</strong> so if they know what's best then they would just do things in order so it would be less stressful on all parties involved.
    Posted by kbval0512[/QUOTE]

    I feel ya pain. Going through this but my inner Bridezilla has finally woken up!
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  • lil01lil01
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the ladies about having it somewhere else. Restaurants do have catering. They can check into that.
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  • pinkcottoncandy7pinkcottoncandy7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with all the PP however when someone is throwing you a party its equally as tacky to regulate how they do it. You are not the hostess. However they throw it it is no reflection on you. If all your friends get together and have lunch and call it your bridal shower its not up to you. My work threw me a shower at gorgeous expensive resturant. One teacher arranged and everyone paid for themselves. None of my business, I simply showed up. 
    Its painful and I feel your pain don't get me wrong lol. If people are offended they will not go or throw you a shower too. Someone threw us a Jack and Jill while Karl was working so he couldn't come..one of my friends was upset about that so she is throwing us another one when Karl is off. I have no say..I'm just showing up.
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  • Ksk2012Ksk2012
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yea.. I agree with everyone... but showers are so touchy... it is your party but you aren't throwing it...someone else is... but all your friends and family are invited!
    It is like you want to have control but you cannot
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