Do WE have to make a toast?

katiebo1013 · August 2012

Trying to figure out if we should make a toast at our own wedding, my FH (who can be man of few words when amongst a crowd) has already said hes not comfortable making a toast. Which means that leaves me. I have no problem with public speaking, but would prefer not to. Partially bc I feel it should be the groom or nothing.... is it customary/expected for the couple of honor to say something at their wedding?? or is it normal for the Bride/groom not too?

LeiselEB · August 2012

It's not required. If you're hosting your own wedding, a welcome to the guests could be nice, but you don't need to make a big speech out of it.

My dad did the welcome/toast at our wedding, and H and I didn't say anything.

ETA: Hockey made a good point - we didn't say anything publicly, per se, but we did greet each guest individually and thank them for coming.

HockeyFan4 · August 2012

Whoever the host is should really welcome/thank everyone for coming.

My parents hosted our wedding, so my father made a brief toast, welcoming the guests, thanking them for coming and toasting my H and I.

H and I did table visits during dinner to thank all of our guests for coming personally.

katiebo1013 · August 2012

Both of our parents are hosting, however neither has said anything about toasting- just bm and moh... however, i can see my fil making a brief announcement. my father is passed, so lets hope my mom doesnt attempt anything, what a tear fest that would be

HockeyFan4 · August 2012

I asked my father if he would say a welcome. My parents tried to not step on our toes at all...but once I asked, I know my father was super excited to do it. Typically, however, people should volunteer to do a toast.

katiebo1013 · August 2012

Extra info; We will definatly be greeting table by table

katiebo1013 · August 2012

Wow, forgot how catty girls can be sometimes.... and since everyone else seems to be saying no, as long as you walk around a personally thank your guests, im gonna go with that!

LeiselEB · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-we-have-to-make-a-toast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5996f1d4-dbea-49e5-8bf7-6b389f33a3ebPost:a6ab2f32-3f48-45e7-9890-f97fb456cdaa">Re: Do WE have to make a toast?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, forgot how catty girls can be sometimes.... and since everyone else seems to be saying <strong>no, as long as you walk around a personally thank your guests</strong>, im gonna go with that!
Posted by katiebo1013[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>If no one else does a welcome speech, I think you and your new husband SHOULD do one in addition to table visits. Something like "We'd like to welcome and thank you all for traveling from near and far to celebrate with us today. We truly appreciate it," would be fine. Nothing huge :)</div>

katiebo1013 · August 2012

I can get on board with that, and I appreciate you saying it in a polite way

KellyBrian2013 · August 2012

I gave a quick thank you to the guests for sharing in our day and told them to enjoy the rest of the evening. The only reason H said anything at all was because his uncle gave him a hard time that I did all the thanking, so H made a joke and said thanks, and that was it. Both of us talking literally took about 3 minutes.

katiebo1013 · August 2012

@ Hoorayforsoup- nice name btw lol, I was referring to 2 snarky posts in which people stated they had never not seen the bride and groom speak at the wedding (even tho most people were saying otherwise) and I was being sexist bc i thought my groom should be the one to talk, since traditionally (and according to the knot) he should. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it was more how they said it... needless to say I hid their posts, or at least i cant see them anymore lol

LeiselEB · August 2012

Katie- some people HAVE never not seen the bride and groom speak at the wedding. Nothing catty about that, they're just giving you an opinion. Also, you said your FI doesn't want to speak at the wedding, so when you said it was the groom or nothing...it sounded a little weird, ya know? I don't think it was catty to question you on that.

Loopyseven · August 2012

We thanked our wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. We did not say anything publicly at the wedding. We did table visits. Traditionally the hosts of the wedding offer a welcome. In this day and age the role of host is often muddled. You could always have the priest giving the blessing start out with a statement of "the bride and groom would like to thank everyone for coming... a little embellishment... etc, then go into the blessing before dinner if you don't want to speak yourself. At the wedding, our priest gave a blessing, my dad gave a short welcome and thank you speech, and the MOH and BM gave toasts.

specialk84 · August 2012

Though we thanked our guests individually, neither H nor I spoke at the reception. My father welcomed everyone, the minister gave a blessing, then after dinner, my father, the BM, and my MOH gave toasts.

I don't think anyone was catty.

Soup, I really like your sn. And soup. I like soup.

DramaGeek · August 2012

Every wedding I've been to, the bride or groom said a short public thank you. This is a fact. It does not make me catty.

I am slightly offended by the "groom or nothing" attitude since I was the one who made the public thank you at our wedding. It made sense for us - H doesn't like public speaking, I have a theatre degree.

Lisa50 · August 2012

To answer the question in the Subject line, no, YOU do not have to make a toast.

Here's what we did ... Before the wedding party processional (one attendant each, so tiny!), with a change in the string quartet music, H and I went out and greeted each and every guest with a hug, kiss and "Thank you so much for joining us today."

At the beginning of dinner, each best man, H and I gave toasts. H's was more of a "Thanks for joining us and welcome ..." mine was as well, plus acknowledgment of my aunt and uncle's 56th wedding anniversary on that date, so it incorporated a toast to them.

hoffse · August 2012

See, I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom spoke publicly. I think it must depend on what circle you're in. Usually it's one of the parents who say a short welcome (perhaps a short toast as well), and that's it. I think it would be strange for the bride and groom to lead a toast to themselves, KWIM? So OP, maybe consider what you've seen at other weddings you've been to and decide from there.

Also, if you want to say something, I'd keep it to a welcome - if you want to do a toast, I'd limit my toast to the people who helped/supported you (wedding party, etc) instead of yourselves. As a guest I would find that pretty AWish if the bride and groom were like, "let's toast our future!!" Gross. I don't think you were planning that, but in case anybody else reads this...

KellyBrian2013 · August 2012

I think what's getting hung up here is the language... do the bride and groom need to TOAST to themselves? No. What most are saying, though, is that they should welcome the guests if no one else is and it's a nice touch to also give a short thank you, even if you're going to do table visits. I've personally never attended a wedding where the bride groom didn't at least say thank you to their guests... and on that note, its always been the bride that I've seen speak.

Do WE have to make a toast?

Re: Do WE have to make a toast?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards