NWR: finances

bpphoto785 · March 2012

I'm really loving these NWR posts!

I apologize if this one's too personal, but I was wondering how other couples handle their finances and if you plan on doing so differently once you're married.

I pay all of our bills and FI gives me a set amount every month towards them. When big things come up like Christmas or a vet bill we usually split it. As of right now we don't have any shared credit cards or bank accounts.

We've lived together for four years and this system works really well for us, so I can't see us changing it once we're married. However, I feel like it's weird to be married and not share a credit card or bank account.

gpapale1 · March 2012

This sounds similar to how some friends on mine handle their finances. They have been together for almost a decade, and they have been married for almost 3 years. They both have separate checking (and I think savings) accounts, but they have one joint account that they use to pay all of their shared bills, like rent and utilities. Every bill gets split down the middle, 50/50.

FI and I, on the other hand, joined our accounts over a year ago...pretty much right after we got engaged. I handle all of the bill paying, so it was just easier to have all the money in one place. I like that I can just pay everything without having to ask FI for his "share" of the bills. It just works better for us. However, we would like to each have our own separate checking accounts for "fun" money...we'll be doing this after the wedding, once we actually have money to put in said accounts.

I think you should stick with whatever works best for you. There is no rule that you have to join bank accounts once you're married. HTH!

evenundomiel · March 2012

that's how me and FI have done it for a while now...and we even have a joint bank account haha.

now that we're purchasing a house, we're each putting part of our paycheck into our joint account, but we're still maintaining our separate personal accounts and credit cards. we had a discussion about making sure our finances stay straight because once we're married, we'll share a credit history...so that's definitely something to prioritize.

i'd say, get a joint account and start slowly. even if it's just him depositing his money into the joint account instead of giving it to you, it's basically the same thing..only a bit easier to manage.

dland0201 · March 2012

We have lived together for the last 6 years. We had separate accounts and paid our own bills, each paid half the mortgage, I paid cable & city utilities, he paid groceries & cell phones.

After we got engaged in September we added me to his account and closed mine. Neither one of us are in charge per say. We both know what is going in and out. We talk to eachother about big purchases and how much needs to be in the account. I have taken control a little more in the saving for the wedding side though. I like having us both involved that way neither of us feel like we are being told we can/cannot have something.

jensimpson86 · March 2012

I think you should do whatever is best for you two. My FI and I finally got a joint bank account about 6 months ago. . We use to split everything from grocoeries to rent so in the end fo us it was a lot easier to get a joint account. As for as credit cards right know we don't share one but I think after we get married we will. I also now many married couples who don't have a joint bank account or credit cards and it works great for them. In end, it's up to you two and whatever feels most comfortable.

amanda14lynne · March 2012

FI and I don't live together yet. For the past (almost) 7 years, we have split our costs-- vacations, christmas, etc. About a year ago, we joined our cell phones and I pay that each month.

This month we will be closing his checking account and adding him to mine. It scares me a little because I don't like not having 100% control, but we will get used to it. We already discuss big purchases with each other, so that won't be a big change!

mancila60 · March 2012

We have lived together almost 2 years now and we didn't combine accounts until we moved into our house a few months ago. I handle all the bills and just pay them out of our account. We each have our own credit cards that we don't share but the payments come out of our account and I handle that as well. I'm much better with money than FI is so it made more sense for me to deal with everything.

I agree to do what's best for you and how it works for the 2 of oyu. Just because it works for me and FI doesn't mean it will for everyone since we may have more/less bills than you. My brother got married in 2007 and they didn't get aj oint account until last year about a month before FI and I did.

cpm1223 · March 2012

FI and I live together and we spilt the cost for rent. My work pays for my cell phone and same with FI. The only other bills we have are personal for example: FI has a truck and pays for it himself. I own my car so I don't have a car payment and I never drive his truck, so I don't contribute to those payments. Also, I have student loans and he has health insurance that we pay for individually.

For Christmas type of expenses, I usually buy everything because I'm the one out shopping and then FI gives me a lump sum of half of what I spent.

We have one joint account that is something we set up after our engagement party when we were given $ from people. We figured this was a great way to start out our honeymoon fund.

In the future, when we buy a house, I'm sure we'll have one joint account that we contribute a certain amount to each week, but I think we'll also keep a separate account for our own personal expenses too.

deanabuonincontri · March 2012

Just go with that works for you guys - there is no rule that says things have to change just because you are getting married.

My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and have lived together for 4. We kept things pretty separate, splitting everything (bill wise) until we bought our house together and got engaged. We have a joint account to pay bills out of, but each still has our separate accounts for our "own money" and savings. We also have a joint credit card so when we are out at the grocery store for example, we dont have to split it on two cards or anything like that. For the most part, this will stay the same once we are married. We split the bills, but not 50/50....he makes more so he pays more. Also - we dont split things when we go on dates....one treats the other. to me, it just makes it more romantic then knowing we are going out and going dutch.

dori851 · March 2012

FI & I have a joint checking & savings account. We also share 1 credit card (we don't have any individual credit cards) & have a savings account for our son. We share each other's money & don't delegate whose is whose. We have some bills/utilities in my name, & some bills in his name. I usually pay all the bills each month no matter whose name they are in.

amandad18 · March 2012

We've been together 9 years, living together 8, and combined our accounts about 2 1/2 years ago. We've each got separate credit cards, but we only use them for emergencies/ specific things that we know we can pay back quickly. Honestly, I've loved the joint account- I like not worrying about who is paying for what, how to split expenses, etc. But while we both contribute to it, I'm the one that ends up managing the money/ paying bills, which we're both fine with.

Shari 86 · March 2012

T and I did something similar until DD came along. I paid all of the house expenses and my car expenses and T paid his truck and other debt( he had a lot when we met.) We didn't have anything joint other than the house. Then when DD came along it posed a big problem. Where I was the one who paid everything and was on Mat benefits( 60% salary for a year) It didn't cover the bills anymore. T wasn't on my bank account/ or have an account in the same bank so we had to transfer. With a little one the last thing we had time to do is go to the bank and wait forever to be able to pay bills.

We eventually put him on my account and he closed his old one so his pay now comes into our account. I am better with this finances so I am more in control even though he makes the money.It is important more than ever now that we have a joint account especially with me being a SAHM. If something were to happen and we didn't have the account joint his money would be frozen and I would be left with all of the bills and no money.

I think they way it works for you now is great but I think it is worth looking at again once you have a family. ( If you decide to do so)

S0095042 · March 2012

I agree with PP. Do what works well for you two. We have had a joint checking account since we got engaged and moved in together. Like others have said, I didn't like having to ask him for his "share" and he would never remember if I reminded him so we just joined forces...it works well for us.

...however, we know many couples who have sepeate checking/savings, etc and it seems to work fine for them too.

pantherRN · March 2012

We have a joint bank account (checking and savings) and we each still have personal accounts (checking and savings).

Right now the only thing the joint is being used for is the wedding. We spilt the rent and the payment on our joint credit card and our phones. I pay the cable. The rest of the bills come out of our personal accounts (i.e. his car, my student loans, etc). We take turns buying groceries.

Once the wedding is over, we'll switch to using mostly our joint account and our personals will mostly be fun money and personal debts (car, loans, etc.)

kimberlykh · March 2012

My FI makes a lot more than me, and our monthly expenses are very low (we live in a small condo, no debt, cars paid off) so he pays for mortgage and utilities. I generally pay for the groceries, gifts for friends, and either of us pay when we go out. We keep separate everything, even though we see it as "our" money. He knows whats in mine, i know what is in his. We had planned to merge everything after we get married, but we've been reconsidering. It works so well for us, we have never fought about money. My parents divorced when I was young and money was one of the main reasons. I have a lot of issues about money and lately I figure maybe we shouldn't fix what isn't broken...

mandi921vh · March 2012

Right now we each have our own checking and savings accounts. Right now because I am not working and FI is he is probably paying more of our bills than I am. Once I get a job it will be more 50/50 for our bills and we will continue to pay our separate bills like student loans and car payments from our own accounts. When we get married will open joint checking and use that to pay for our rent, electricity, cable etc.

Find a system that works for both of you that you are both comfortable with.

Melissa51212 · March 2012

We work the way that the oringally poster said. I asked fi if we should join money and he said if it ain't broke don't fix it. So for now we do that. I guess we revisit if we have kids.

JoyjoshM · March 2012

I recently asked my mom about this and the response i got was "If it's not broke, dont fix it." meaning if you and your fiance have a system that works, dont change it. It's not weird, it works.

So me and the fi-fi will keep our separate accounts. When we got engaged we opend up a savings account to save for the wedding so we will probably use this to purchase a home (after the wedding).

I agree with most here, whatever works for you, keep it!

jennamarie10 · March 2012

We combined everything and just pay out of the joint account. We have separate credit cards but pay out of the joint account so if I buy a bunch of crap on credit, FI pays some of it too.

We were really really bad when we first got together and racked up entirely too much debt and because of the wedding we can't do anything about it just yet. (well, we could, but a lot of the money is going towards wedding things). I just want to pay those CC's off!

DianaL616 · March 2012

Right now we have completely separate finances because we don't live together so we are each responsible for our current living situations. We do have a joint emergency savings account and wedding savings account. We will be combining all our accounts (except credit cards) though. Not sure if we will do it before the wedding or wait until after when my name is changed.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

We joined our accounts together right after we got engaged, everything we have is joint. I feel like if you are really going to be married and be a team, "my" money and "his" money is "our" money. If he is trustworthy enough to marry, he should be trustworthy to share an account with you. It's much easier to keep track of how much money you really have & pay bills.

Becky&Chris · March 2012

I think you should use whatever system works for you guys. I know lots of married couples who have separate accounts and it seems to work fine for them. I think as long as you are still accountable to each other (not hiding anything) with the money that is coming in and going out, it's fine.

FI and I have been together going on 10 years and have lived together for close to 6, but we didn't join finances until we got engaged. For now we are using my old checking account for our wedding money, but after the wedding we will probably close it. Our credit cards are all combined. For what it's worth, we have been really happy with our decision to join finances before getting married. It has brought about a lot of discussion on how we both want to manage our money, which luckily is very similar, but I'm not sure we would have talked about any of that stuff if we hadn't joined finances. But, that being said, do what works for you and your FI!

NWR: finances

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