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Vows without microphones

harper0813harper0813 member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
My fiance and I are private with our emotions and affection for one another - we don't engagement in very much verbal/phyisical PDA.

We like the idea of saying our written vows to one another without microphones. There are things that we'd like to say that we don't want to broadcast to our 200 guests, many of whom we don't know. If our vows are short, maybe 30 seconds per person, would this be okay?

ETA: Our parents insisted on a larger wedding than we wanted. Paying for our own wedding to be able to have a more intimate crowd is not an option - STDs have been sent.
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Re: Vows without microphones

  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I definitely understand where you are coming from, but there is nothing more annoying to me than being at a ceremony where you can't hear what is being said. You can't expect a private moment in front of 200 people. 

    I would write out your personal vows and either share them together privately (perhaps if you are doing a first look, you could share them then? or between the ceremony and the reception?) or write them in a letter to one another that you read while getting ready. And then during the ceremony, stick to the more traditional vows that you can broadcast to everyone.


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  • vanityinkvanityink member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, that would be amazingly annoying to your guests. Are they just supposed to stare at you for the X minutes it takes for you two to read your vows because they can't hear you? I agree with Daria. Can't you take a moment before or after the ceremony to read your vows to each other privately? You could use some version of traditional ones during the ceremony
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would probably just do very simple vows during the ceremony, and share your personal stuff with each other before or after the ceremony. I agree with everyone else, it's annoying not to be able to hear. 

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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_vows-without-microphones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:108d2adf-bc65-4e47-80f6-22411e9bd03fPost:3e684d29-566f-4137-a0a2-eacc03642583">Re: Vows without microphones</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would probably just do very simple vows during the ceremony, and share your personal stuff with each other before or after the ceremony. I agree with everyone else, it's annoying not to be able to hear. 
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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  • ciligirlciligirl
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Our minister suggested we write our personal vows down and for FI to keep mine to him in his pocket close to his heart during the ceremony.  I thought that was nice.  But I can't remember where I am supposed to keep his.  Uh oh, should have taken notes.
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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh. Why have people witness the ceremony if they can't hear you?

    I went to a wedding in December where they chose not to use a microphone because they didn't like the way it sounded and thought the room would be small enough. It wasn't. No one after the first 2 rows could hear them and we all just kept asking what was said to each other after the pastor obviously made a joke.

    Dislike. I go to the wedding because I want to hear the ceremony and I bawl my eyes out. It's part of it. i
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_vows-without-microphones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:108d2adf-bc65-4e47-80f6-22411e9bd03fPost:cc1ab5fe-6a0e-4ce1-b8b9-80a453eda98c">Re:Vows without microphones</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Vows without microphones: Thirded. Seriously, mute the TV sometime during a show and sit quietly and watch it for a full minute. Then multiply that awkwardness by 20.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha, this is a great comparison.</div><div>
    </div><div>I have pretty big anxiety over showing emotion publicly - I actually didn't enjoy the proposal (I laughed at him and I had to actively keep myself from throwing up... whoops!) because it was done in public. And when FI and I wanted a ceremony with just us and our two witnesses, my (own) family became EXTREMELY upset. So posters who asked why our ceremony isn't private if we want private vows... I tried, I really did. :) I found that it wasn't a hill worth dying on or estranging my family over.</div><div>
    </div><div>All very good points. Thanks for the advice. We'll stick to scripted vows.</div>
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_vows-without-microphones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:108d2adf-bc65-4e47-80f6-22411e9bd03fPost:eebfdbe0-9dc9-405c-8f44-031b8f7e0922">Re:Vows without microphones</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Vows without microphones : Unfortunately, the consequence of having a big ceremony to prevent family drama is having everyone in the big ceremony HEAR everything.   If it helps, I wasn't emotional during my ceremony, and I didn't notice all the people like I thought I would (I don't enjoy public attention AT ALL and was so nervous about the ceremony).  It was such a blur that at one point I thought we'd skipped some stuff, and the first time I noticed anyone other than the people up front with us was when the officiant introduced us at the end and we turned to walk out.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you - that's very reassuring.</div>
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    It is very frustrating to be a guest a wedding and not be able to hear what the B & G are saying to each other.
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  • geebes83geebes83 member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    I must say I too feel this way.  The vows are meant for one another.  You aren't promising these vows to the guests.  I think that if you want to keep them personal and to yourself go ahead and do it.  You only get one wedding day, one chance to officially say your vows.  Do it how YOU want to!  Good luck with your decision.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Anything you want to say to each other that you don't want guests to hear needs to be said in private.  Inaudible ceremonies are not considerate of your guests.

    I've been to several weddings where I couldn't hear the ceremony (including my brother's, where I was a bridesmaid and the officiant spoke to him and my SIL very quietly for several minutes during the ceremony), and it was really annoying.
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