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Just Engaged and Proposals

Do you think I'm crazy?

I just got engaged on the 24th, but won't be getting married till early 2013 because I need to graduate from college first. Do you think I'm crazy for waiting that long? Or for starting to plan now? I mean, I'm not booking anything yet, but I do need to start planning eventually, and it can never be too early, right?
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Re: Do you think I'm crazy?

  • There is nothing crazy about waiting that long to get married.  I am in a similar position.  I got engaged in March and the wedding isn't until May 2012 when I finish grad school.  I'd rather wait until I have more time to enjoy myself as opposed to turning our wedding into something that we just "fit in" somewhere. 

    I'd suggest that you enjoy being engaged for a while.  There is no need to start making concrete decisions.  I have a cute notebook that I designated for wedding ideas and I've been writing down great ideas or tips when I see them.  That way I feel like I'm doing something wedding related and I've got a great place to start when it comes time to actually plan. 

    Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS! 
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  • I would definitely wait. It is fine to start collecting ideas and thoughts of what you might like for your wedding, etc, but way too early to book vendors and put deposits down just yet.
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited August 2010
    Long engagements are not crazy. They are even kind of normal for people in college.

    But I would advise to hold off on planning. Your tastes, ideas, and budget may change. You can brainstorm, but if you do too much too early you may regret it later or even get sick of all the wedding stuff.

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  • Agreed, not crazy at all.  Especially considering you have a very valid thought process (finish school first).  You have your priorities straight so never mind anyone who doesn't respect that.  I got engaged in June and the wedding will probably be in Spring of 2012.  A guy at work got engaged a week before me and his fiancee is planning a wedding in February of next year...crazy!  I hear things book up at least a year in advance so I don't know how people who plan it in six or nine months manage to get a date/location/etc. that they want.  Go ahead and get ideas, get everything locked down early, and enjoy the anticipation of your big day!
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • I got engaged on June 22nd and we set a date of October 26, 2012. It gives you time to save money and really think about everything that you want and to not feel rushed. If you want to plan things and look at wedding venues and try on dresses do it! Its frustrating because some brides will come on here and say "Theres no reason for you to try on dresses! No reason to look at venues! No reason to think about your wedding party!" Who cares how long till you are married you can dream about your wedding and try on wedding dresses and do whatever the hell you want. Its your wedding! :)
    Congratulations and happy planning!!!
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  • Wait on the planning because so much can happen before then
  • i Dont think your crazy i started the day after he proposed on planning it...august 2012 :) its never to early n when it comes closer to the time to book venues and do some real planning youll be glad you did because you wont be as stressed
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  • Not at all!! He popped the question in April 2010 and our date is Sept 2012. I am waiting until I am out of grad school too! Most people I talk to say that the engagement and planning is the best part... so definitely start now and take it slow, so you're not so stressed when it is just around the corner! Congrats and enjoy planning!!! :)
  • Your not crazy you have to do what is best and school is important!  We were going to wait till I finished school but that would be 2 yrs from now.. we are already hitting 30 and due to health issues my dr says if i want kids i better not wait to long.. so we getting married in january and I work full time and go to school.. i will be finished with school end of next year so its good timing.

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  • There's no problem with waiting!
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  • No problem waiting and it's your wedding you can do what you want.. I got engaged in May of this year and I am in full planning mode for 9-2012.. I have venue, florist, baker, venue and a photographer.. Im gonna drop deposits down and relax until next summer...
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  • It's not crazy to wait until you finish collegeto get married.  It is, however, crazy to start planning now.  Most vendors probably woun't even talk to you until you're about 18 months out.
     
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  • i am in the exact same spot as u. i got engaged on aug 6th, and i'm trying to plan whatever i can, even though the wedding is not until April of 2013. i know how it feels, people can make u feel crazy. i know i get asked all the time "why so long?" and they look at me like i'm nuts! but, my fiance and i are basically paying for everything, so we need the time to save the money. i am also trying to finish school first. and frankly, i would go insane if i only had a year to plan!

    as far as planning early, you're not crazy! just today, i made an appointment to go see a reception venue, and i am going to try to book things as early as i can, because i know that i am a procrastinator, so the earlier the better, and the less i have to procrastinate about later, lol !

     Nikki

  • I honeslty don't think you're onr bit... My fiancee and I have been togetherfor over ten years and got engaged in June. We are waiting for almost two years before we get married so that we can take the time and do it right and not stress about money and things like that....
  • Waiting till you finish school is a great idea.  I think it's great that you want to prioritize your education. I hear that getting married while still a student have sometimes impact your taxes in unexpected ways, as well.

    When I got engaged in January I knew NOTHING about weddings.  I'd been to my dad's buddhist wedding when I was 10 (which I barely remember anyway) but never to a traditional wedding.  My mother passed away in 2003, and I have no family who is local.  So basically I had no idea what I would be getting myself into with planning a wedding, especially budget-wise.

    My MOH used to be an event planner and told me to start with a budget and an estimate of the size of our guest list.  That was some of the best advice I ever got, and I gladly pass it on to you. 

    With a long engagement, your guest list may become a work-in-progress as you and FI add and delete people from the list.  DO NOT TELL ANYONE THEY ARE INVITED UNTIL YOU SEND OUT INVITATIONS (or at least Save-the-Dates).  You may discover that you can't afford to invite as many people as you want to, and it is very awkward to tell someone they have been cut from the list once they think they are coming.

    I'd suggest that you start LOOKING at what interests you and start pricing the things you like.  I looked up info online for some of the venues I was interested in and made a chart of the price, amenities, deadlines, etc. so I could compare them more easily.

    Once you have ideas for your venue, you may be inspired to have a certain theme or look for your wedding overall (romantic, classic, retro, casual, beachy, etc.) which may guide your choices on the rest of your decorations as you continue to look.

    Talk to your FI about what elements of the wedding he thinks are important and what you think is important so you are on the same page.  I got lucky, my FI (although he trusts my taste) wanted to be a part of the wedding planning and has given me input on what he likes/dislikes and what he cares about.  Yours may also have opinions he wishes to share with you.

    At some point, you should discuss whether you and FI are paying for the wedding yourselves or if your families will be contributing.  Either way, having done your homework on how much your preferences will cost will make it much easier to make your plans a reality.

    Congratulations and have fun planning!
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  • Nope, not crazy. I'm probably not getting married till late 2013, and I did some initial scouting of what the wedding industry is like, and how to avoid most of it, a couple years ago already. As long as you never preference wedding planning over any other activity till you're ready to start booking, you're make a wise choice to a) wait and b) do your homework on the subject.
  • Not at all..
    I got engaged on the 22nd in St. Louis and we are waiting tiill he finishes college to get married. That will probably be in 1 1/2 years to 2 years.
  • It's definitely not crazy... I'm in the same boat. We're planning to wait til I get out school before we even consider it because of fiances. I'm already brainstorming and gathering ideas but I'm not putting anything in stone yet.
  • Definitely not crazy! My fiancé and I planned our wedding for a few months after we graduate from school, so that we can get married, and then start looking for jobs. We did it this way because any job my fiancé could get with his major would most likely take us out of state. My mum wasn't happy that we are doing it this way (mostly because she wanted more time to save up money to pay for the wedding, which I absolutely understand, but his parents and my fiancé and I are paying for things too). So plan your wedding the way it will work best for you! You'll be a lot happier! :)
    "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
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  • wait as long as you want :) you'll probably get comments from the peanut gallery (i am, with an 18 month engagement) but don't let it bother you - everyone is different!
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