Pre-wedding Parties

In Laws at Shower?

I am having a difficult time deciding if I should invite my in laws to my bridal shower. My Fiance is not close to his family at all and never really has been. His mother also has a strained relationship with the extended family and has expressed jealousy over he and I spending more time with mine or how close we all are. I of course am inviting my FMIL and his Grandmother but am not sure if I should invite his Female Cousins. I have met them only a couple times and would not consider us close by any means, he is not even close to them. His mother though, and I have posted of her strange way of thinking before, will look at it one of two ways. If I dont invite them she will complain about his family not being included as much as mine, but on the other hand if I do, I'm worried she will say that it is an attempt to get gifts, which it is not. She has express mltiple times how weddings are all about money (ours included) and how we are taking this "way too seriously and it shouldn't be a big event". But she is also always looking at the two families as competition as well. Should I invite them? Which is the lesser of two evils?

Re: In Laws at Shower?

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I answered you on the Moms and Maids board.
  • You shouldn't be involved with planning/hosting your shower. Therefore you should not be inviting anyone. Let the host decide.
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  • In Response to <a href="">Re: In Laws at Shower?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You shouldn't be involved with planning/hosting your shower. Therefore you should not be inviting anyone. Let the host decide.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I am not planning and/or hosting my own Bridal Shower. Sorry if I wasnt clear on that. I am simply providing a guest list for the host who is in no place to judge my relationships or lack there of with my Future In Laws. Therefore, I was asking if I should include these family members on the guest list I give to the host. 

  • Thank you for the advice Lasied! I would like to add that the reason this is even a question is because one of where the cousins live. We moved to another state a few years ago and at the time he did not have any family here. Well, within the past year, two of his cousins moved to the same city as us, one lives literally one street over from where the shower is being held. This is why I'm torn. If they didnt live here it probably wouldn't be considered, but she will be close enough to see and hear the party. I think it would just be a slap in the face not to invite her, and then also invite her sisters.
  • I am in the same boat getting ready to provide my own guest list to my party hostesses. My fiance on the other hand has a million female relatives who we see fairly often so I am in the position of inviting all of them or only a select few.

    I believe that you should invite who you feel comfortable with. If his mother makes a big deal out of his family not being there, have her through you a second shower then she can invite them all. Otherwise, this is a day about you, and you should be around your family and friends, and of course future MIL and Grandmother-In-Law.
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