Jop one day and VR the next weekend?

KendallR10 · July 2011

I have a friend (A) who is in love with the date of their dating anniversary. Well if they get married it won't be until 2014. The day will be a monday. Her idea was JOP on that day and then do it again the saturday after. She doesn't want to have the big deal on monday because she doesn't want people missing work and being mad at her.

I thought it was over kill and that the people who mattered would be there.

What do I tell her?

melbelle24 · July 2011

Is your friend actually engaged? Just curious because of the way you said "if they get married it won't be before 2014". To answer your question though, I think it's a little ridiculous to JOP and then have a big ceremony the next weekend. In my mind, that's just somebody who wants to have a PPD. If having that particular date means that much to her, then she just needs to deal with the fact that not everybody will show up. If having all her friends and family there is what's most important, then have the ceremony on a day that is more convenient.

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_jop-one-day-vr-next-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9b82b38a-d75b-41e1-ab57-3519e750c239Post:79c0748c-f886-48bd-8c56-bf83dd5c4b1a">Re: Jop one day and VR the next weekend?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is your friend actually engaged? Just curious because of the way you said "if they get married it won't be before 2014". To answer your question though, I think it's a little ridiculous to JOP and then have a big ceremony the next weekend. In my mind, that's just somebody who wants to have a PPD. If having that particular date means that much to her, then she just needs to deal with the fact that not everybody will show up. If having all her friends and family there is what's most important, then have the ceremony on a day that is more convenient.
Posted by melbelle24[/QUOTE]
They are. I know being engaged is a promise but I don't think she wants to wait until 2014. She just feels bad for having to ask anyone to take the day off even her parents but she loves the day. It was the day they got engaged too

firsttimersluck · July 2011

That seems a little silly... Granted I can't talk. I told my Fi to pick the date he wanted and he chose our dating-anniv. It just turned out to be on a Sunday, which is better than a weekday for a wedding I suppose.
Idk.. She is going to KNOW years down the line that that wasn't her actual wedding when she looks at the photographs.. how do you explain that to your kids, ya know?
It's her life so I wouldn't say a thing unless she asks for your opinion. If she's not asking and is happy with her idea, then I wouldn't judge it and just let it be... but if she asks, don't be afraid to be honest about it? It's annoying to go to a wedding on a weekday, but it's also a LOT cheaper to get vendors and whatnot.. so I think it's becoming more common.

SamiJoeB · July 2011

FTL is right about weekday weddings being cheaper, but I've never heard of a wedding on a Monday.. thats just me though. If she's super "in love" with that date.. then she should get married on it, although, I don't really understand how someone can be in love with a date. We chose our date because it was a Saturday in December, that my sister had the kids (she's divorced and on the every other weekend plan), it was close to Christmas so we knew we could both get leave, and it was near our dating anniversary (12-14 is our dating anniversary, and 12-18 is our wedding anniversary). I mean.. remember when you were a little kid, and your birthday fell on a monday and you either had your party the weekend before, or the weekend after.. I feel like that same logic should apply here..

firsttimersluck · July 2011

hahaha Sami the birthday thing is sooo true... although I agree, I have heard of Wednesday weddings, but not Monday weddings. *shrug* I think if she is having a bunch of OOT people, she needs to let it go and have the wedding on a weekend to be considerate.. if she has her heart set on a "date" (I don't get it either, although FI is in LOVE with our date since it's our dating date.. whatevs I never remember it anyway >_< ) she just needs to do it and expect a smaller turn out. oooh well..
bright side: She can invite a ton more people but not won't have to pay for all that food right? Then no one is left out because she invited everyone :P haha

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_jop-one-day-vr-next-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9b82b38a-d75b-41e1-ab57-3519e750c239Post:4b420ffc-5631-407f-a025-b4ea89f9ab92">Re: Jop one day and VR the next weekend?</a>:
[QUOTE]FTL is right about weekday weddings being cheaper, but I've never heard of a wedding on a Monday.. thats just me though. If she's super "in love" with that date.. then she should get married on it, although, I don't really understand how someone can be in love with a date. We chose our date because it was a Saturday in December, that my sister had the kids (she's divorced and on the every other weekend plan), it was close to Christmas so we knew we could both get leave, and it was near our dating anniversary (12-14 is our dating anniversary, and 12-18 is our wedding anniversary). I mean.. remember when you were a little kid, and your birthday fell on a monday and you either had your party the weekend before, or the weekend after.. I feel like that same logic should apply here..
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You got married on my birthday :] </div><div>
</div><div>She says it has a ring to it. I kinda understand about the date but I will be having one wedding and I only need 5 people there

</div>

Beachy730 · July 2011

I personally don't see the point, and don't understand how a certain date is so important to people. Whatever date you get married on will become even more important because that is the day you got married.

Personally I wouldn't do it because I wanted one wedding. And I would never want to explain to my guests that they are only coming to the reception because I cared more about getting married on a specific date than having them there.

crownsuperstar · July 2011

I don't really see the point in a JOP on a Monday and something on the following Saturday (not sure if I read that right). I think I would want to spend time enjoying spending time with my husband instead of getting married on Monday only to have all kinds crazy things going on leading up to the Saturday. That's is just me though. I loved my wedding day but I was really happy to get on a plane the following day to head out for the honeymoon.

calindi · July 2011

Silly and kind of juvenile. Your wedding date will be awesome and important to you simply because of the fact that it's your wedding date. We picked ours for practical reasons - it's a holiday weekend, which means FI will likely have no problems getting leave as well as his mlitary friends who are invited. Also, it means friends and family traveling from far away have an extra day to help with travel so they don't have to take off work. And it gives us Sunday to spend time with our guests the day after the wedding before everyone leaves town on Monday. It just so happens that it's also September 1st, which makes it rather easy to remember. And we'll always have Labor Day Weekend to do something for our anniversary, go on a trip or something. It just so happens that September 7th, the following Friday, is exactly 4 years to the day since we met. We could have gotten married on September 8th and gotten to say during our rehearsal dinner, "It was 4 years ago today that we met, and tomorrow we'll be getting married" but it just wasn't as important to us as having that extra day to spend with family and friends.

We're far too logical, I suppose. My Mom always tells me I'm too logical.

Jop one day and VR the next weekend?

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