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Traditions, ugg. Is anyone letting your future husband see the dress before the wedding?

amy7177amy7177 member
10 Comments
in Second Weddings
So it is my second wedding and his first. I have been planning our wedding for over six months now  and its coming up fast. I am getting so excited that july 29 is just around the corner (77 days to go). I finally got my dress and am so excited to show it to my fiance. He asked me if I was sure if I wanted to do that because its soposed to be bad luck. Well I really thought about it and yes i do. He is my best friend and the one person beside myself that I want to look pretty for on that day is him. So yes, I showed him my dress. He loves it. I love it. There is no rewind on that now. Besides its not like i had awesome makeup and hair or my hairpeice in, or my rocking tan so it will still be a surprise.Did anyone else show him or are planning on showing him the dress?

Just a side note: I told him first the actual reason behind the saying that its bad luck before I showed him. Way back in the day, it was customary for arranged mairages to occur. It was thought to be bad luck for a man to see his bride in her dress/unveiled before the first kiss because the parents wanted to make sure the grooom would not run away if she was ugly. True story. I found it in a history of wedding site one day. When I told my fiance this he laughed and said you can wear a paper bad for all I care, I am not going anywhere.
Married on July 29, 2011
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Re: Traditions, ugg. Is anyone letting your future husband see the dress before the wedding?

  • trishc69trishc69
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've been contemplating this as well. First off, I don't have the dress yet! LOL My man is my best friend, but I think that I want him to have the surprise factor. Luckily (and sadly), he is in the military and in another state right now, so it will be easy. If he were home all the time, I think my resolve would break easier. He is very traditional, so I don't think he will press to see it.

    You did the right thing for you and your fiance! That's the key, you have to do what is right for the two of you.
    -- Trisha & Jim May 4, 2012
    Friends for 10 years ... love for a lifetime
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm keeping mine a surprise just because I want that "aha" moment when he sees me, but not because of any superstitions. 

    We are having a "first look" with just the 2 of us before the ceremony because we want to do it, and get pictures of the bridal party before the ceremony. Simply a time saver, because after planning our wedding for almost 2 years, I want to party and enjoy every moment with my family and friends! 
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  • vexievexie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Nope, he's not seeing the dress or me in the dress until our photo shoot before the ceremony.  I'm not superstitious, however I think I am a bit scared he won't like the dress lol.   (although i KNOW that on the day, he'll love me in anything I wear :) )
    84image 73image 11image Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)
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  • lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I sent FI a picture of me in the dress before I bought it, LOL.  It hung in our house for a couple of weeks (when anyone who stopped by saw it) before I took it to my future in-laws.  It'll be back here today until Thursday.  He won't see me live in the dress until wedding day, but I don't feel like our moment will be any less special because he saw the dress ahead of time.

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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My DH saw me in the ivory sample gown, and he helped pick up my gown two days before the wedding... there was still the "aha" moment when he saw me in the gown for the first time.
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  • karenshoppingkarenshopping
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, my fiancé will see my bridal outfit before our wedding. I plan to make it. I showed him the pattern illustration of my first choice, a caftan. He didn't like it. So I kept looking. Then I saw a design that I like in a video of an Oscar de la Renta bridal fashion show. I showed my fiancé a photo of it. He likes it. We usually clothes-shop together and buy things that we both like. I want him to actually like what I wear on our wedding day. Also, our relationship isn't really about mystery and/or surprises.
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  • gosuzygosuzy member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure yet. My FI is very practical, so when I told him I was really worried that I might pick out a wedding dress that he didn't like, he said, "It really isn't a big deal. You're only going to wear it once. It's not like it's a dress that I'm going to see over and over again!"

    He also said that by the end of the day, the dress is usually a mess anyway from spills, etc. (He used to work as a wedding photographer, so he's seen hundreds of weddings!). I don't expect to have a wild reception, but I am a klutz, so I'll probably spill something!. I do remember finding a few spots after the fact on my wedding dress from wedding #1.

    He did have one request about the dress though - when I was wearing a low-cut dress for Easter, he liked it and said, "You should get a dress cut like that for the wedding." Which is what I was planning to do anyway, because I know he's a "boob man"! :)
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My then fi (now DH) went dress shopping with me. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    "Letting" my FI see the dress?  No.  The dress design (he knows the color) is the single surprise element of our wedding day.  Oh!  Wait ... he has not see the shoes, either.  My choice doesn't have anything to do with superstitions or traditions, it's just that I'd really like to surprise him.   With 52 days to go, I think we'll make it to the afternoon of the wedding.  He'll likely see it about 30 minutes before the start of the wedding. 
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    See it!!??  He wore it!
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  • shytownkellyshytownkelly
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_traditions-ugg-anyone-letting-future-husband-see-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:bf8ec753-c9e1-4dbc-b336-e54f3111e74cPost:00bfd79f-1629-489d-85a8-3f35b89a61ac">Re: Traditions, ugg. Is anyone letting your future husband see the dress before the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]See it!!??  He wore it!
    Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE]


    WHATTT????  I need the story for this one - and pictures would be great too
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  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wanted to show my FI, and I still do, because I'm really excited about it. He refuses to let me, however, because he says "it's tradition". I have already been married once and a lot of those rituals and traditions, to me, are silly and not important to me anymore. But, he won't budge, so I guess that means tough luck. :P It does worry me a little though, because I showed him a photo of another wedding dress I really liked a few years back, and he hated it. I can't imagine him hating the one I'm actually wearing, but it's still one of those things. :)
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I bought an extremely beautiful dress in Italy and FI didin't want me to wear it because was too couture for the place where we will be getting married - a very small city in the mid west. So I bought another dress but before getting the second one, I sent him a picture of the dress asking: Is this one "hillbillies" enough? And he replied: Honey, whatever you wear will always look like couture, doesn't matter what.. It's not just the dress, it's you!". So I loved him even more!!!
    So definitively, he will see the dress when it comes home, and if he doesn't, we will have a first look anyways.
    The other dress? I will wear it on a fancy wedding abroad in September!!!
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I showed my fiance pics in wedding mags of wedding dresses and asked his opinion. He was very honest and pretty much disliked every ballgown style, or anything too over the top. If he thought it was ugly, he'd say that ugly.

    Finally I found a style he liked so I tried to stick with that style I don't know why but it was important to me that he like the dress. I didn't wear a veil and my hair and make up wasn't over the top. I looked like me.

    We did have a first look, which was awesome and had all of our pics ahead of time.

    On tradition:
    My husband didn't see his ex before his first wedding, it ended in divorce.

    My EX and I saw each other before my first wedding, it ended in divorce.

    I don't believe in "tradition" ..... We also spent the night together before the wedding. I took the top tier of my wedding cake on our honeymoon and ate it every night till it was gone.

    I rest my case.
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  • lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    LOL, Alpha--I'm sure that FIs family will be shocked to find out that we won't be spending the night before the wedding apart.  No way, no how.  We bought a house together a year ago and have slept next to each other every night since (work travel and bachelor party aside).  There's no way you're going to convince me that we need to spend the night before our wedding apart.  

    If it were up to me, he'd be there while I get my hair done and lace up my dress, too.  But, that's who we are.  We're still catching up from the 32 years we were apart. :) 
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  • trishc69trishc69
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_traditions-ugg-anyone-letting-future-husband-see-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:bf8ec753-c9e1-4dbc-b336-e54f3111e74cPost:da31c1da-c604-488d-a2cc-cfd8f3bbf684">Re: Traditions, ugg. Is anyone letting your future husband see the dress before the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE] If it were up to me, he'd be there while I get my hair done and lace up my dress, too.  But, that's who we are.  We're still catching up from the 32 years we were apart. :) 
    Posted by lindaloulubbock[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I hear you!!! Every single minute we have together is absolutely precious.
    -- Trisha & Jim May 4, 2012
    Friends for 10 years ... love for a lifetime
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    For my second wedding, my now wife and I went dress shopping together.  It was pretty much the only way to end up with coordinating dresses.

    Even for my first wedding, I took the groom with me dress shopping.  I figured he was going to spend more time looking at the dress than I was, so I might as well get something he liked.

    Then again, I wasn't big on the surprise factor.  In each instance, I slept with my partner the night before the wedding, and then we got ready together.
    Anniversary
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  • operarockstaroperarockstar
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    he's the one I took dress shopping.  I care about his opinion, so why wouldn't I take him?  :)
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  • coralee715coralee715 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would love for him to see the dress, but he wants to wait to see it for the first time when I walk down the aisle.  It's just what he wants, so thats that.
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  • AngelSong76AngelSong76 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I went to the bridal shop with my mom, my sister, and my niece (MOH and flower girl) and tried on about a dozen dresses, none of which worked for me.  I have photos of all of these dresses, but haven't let him see them.  That evening, I was looking online and found a wonderful dress that happened to be on sale.  I pulled up pictures of about 10 dresses (including several of the ones I had tried on that morning) and asked his opinion.  He narrowed it down to three that he really liked and I chose one of those three, with the advice of my mom (I emailed the links to her and she told me which one she liked best, then had my dad choose - they picked the same one, which was the one I was leaning toward anyway, so I decided on it. Here it is - I ordered it in ivory. www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Side-Drape-Gown-with-Beaded-Bodice-SAS1212_Outlet-Outlet-Bridal-Gowns">

    So he has seen pictures of the dress, but not me in the dress.  The reason I am not letting him see me in the dress beforehand has nothing to do with luck or tradition, though.  My entire life, I have heard my mother say that her favorite moment in a wedding is the moment when the groom first sees the bride.  I want that moment to be special for her.  They didn't approve of my first husband, so that wedding was not special for her.  This one, they love like a son and are over the moon about us being together, so I want her to have that special moment.   (also, my sister went to the courthouse to marry her husband because of in-law issues, so this will be the only wedding that my mother will ever get the chance to be happy about.)  I woudn't take that moment away from her for anything in the world!
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