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Wording for Invite!

culloacardenasculloacardenas
First Comment
in Military Brides
Good Evening all!!

Hope everybody is doing good!! So, I am currently engaged, and will be getting married Feb 4th.  My Fiance is in the Navy, and is stationed overseas.  I am having a problem with the wording my registry because, well I am not going to have one!

The reason for this is because I will be moving to Japan as soon as I am eligible for sponsorship, which will be in May.  But I will not be moving to Japan until the end of next year....because that is when his summer cruise is usually over by.  I want to ask for money, But I know that its so hard to ask for it on the invite!!! ehhhhh

Any advise? wording suggestions?
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Re: Wording for Invite!

  • CAB1217CAB1217
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Ok, 1- You shouldn't ask for gifts, especially on your invitations. It's ok to register, but it is rude to have that information on your invitations. If someone wanted to buy you a gift, they will ask you where you are registered.
    2- You most certainly do not want to ask for money! My cousin did this, and you have NO IDEA how many people talked behind her back and bad mouthed her for it. Present company included. It is also not cute when someone asks for money in a "poem". (Cousin did this...)

    Listen, if you just don't register, people will ask why you haven't registered. You should respond with "I am moving to Japan, and we could not possibly transfer all of our gifts out there..." Or, whatever, something like that. People will get the hint and give you money instead.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not word anything about gifts or money in your invitations. I'm not telling you this to be mean, I am sparing you some hard core embarrassment.
    imageSketchGirly-A Beauty Obsessed Blog-Updated 6/22 Mission trip to Nicaragua pictures, and littleblackbag.com talk
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto everything Cab said. Nothing about gifts or registries belongs anywhere in or on the invitation. If you don't register people will get the hint that you prefer monetary gifts. Also you and your parents can spread the info via word of mouth if anyone asks. When Aunt Jane asks where you're registered the response would just be "they didnt register for gifts because they will be moving overseas soon after the wedding, but they are saving for furniture (or whatever) when they get there." Also just so you know, if you aren't registering and don't want any physical gifts you should decline any showers that are offered for you.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Pretty much what CAB said... Registeries or gifts of any sort are never put on wedding invitations. People know to figure it out themselves or ask. When they do, just explain that you don't have a registry and would rather no gifts since you will be moving and it will be difficult.
    Accept that this means some people won't get you anything, some will give you money, and some will still give you a gift. It's just the way it goes.
    I will warn you that not registering doesn't mean that everyone will want to give you cash. They will probably just give you a gift THEY decided would be good for you. I would probably make a small registry if I were you, to avoid this as much as possible..
    A gift is not REQUIRED for a wedding, so asking for money is inappropriate. We understand your reasoning, but it's just the way it goes. If I could have registered for money, I would have... I think we all would have ;)
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  • culloacardenasculloacardenas
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, I didnt mean on the invite.... I just did not know how to go with this situation??? ehhhh its just soooo tough, in no ways i wanted to put on the invite, because i know how tacky that looks!!!!

    My cousin just said to register and then store all my stuff! but i see that as a waste!!
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Yeah, but it may be your only option. Some people had parents send their gifts to their new place of living, some will ask your parents/friends/siblings and you can give them the heads up to have them "suggest" to others that gift cards would be best since you are moving... But as far as YOU doing it, negative ghost rider.

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  • CAB1217CAB1217
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_wording-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:49d227e9-a6a4-4ba6-95b5-ed5e36af67c7Post:2bfdf951-c4e0-42ef-a867-0d3776e2b47e">Re: Wording for Invite!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, I didnt mean on the invite.... I just did not know how to go with this situation??? ehhhh its just soooo tough, in no ways i wanted to put on the invite, because i know how tacky that looks!!!! My cousin just said to <strong>register and then store all my stuff! </strong>but i see that as a waste!!
    Posted by culloacardenas[/QUOTE]

    This is what I am doing, and this is what my sister did. Trust me, it's not a waste. Things will get used, eventually. But, as FTL suggested, make a small registry, things you can take up there, and leave the rest to the guests. If the choose to give you money, then great! If you do not like or need a gift given to you, there is nothing wrong with returning it.
    imageSketchGirly-A Beauty Obsessed Blog-Updated 6/22 Mission trip to Nicaragua pictures, and littleblackbag.com talk
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_wording-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:49d227e9-a6a4-4ba6-95b5-ed5e36af67c7Post:41e12273-5cb9-4c3a-b540-c3cc7ade7c81">Re: Wording for Invite!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wording for Invite! : This is what I am doing, and this is what my sister did. Trust me, it's not a waste. Things will get used, eventually. But, as FTL suggested, make a small registry, things you can take up there, and leave the rest to the guests. If the choose to give you money, then great! If you do not like or need a gift given to you, there is nothing wrong with returning it.
    Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]

    Good point by CAB.
    YOu can always register, and return stuff for credit.. It's not the most honest thing, sure, but the fact is... If you don't register, you WILL get gifts that people pick out on their own from all kinds of random stores so returning may not be as easy of an option. And returning=store credit that you can use later.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The ladies have given you good advice. Id do a small registry and have your mom and FMIL spread the info through word of mouth. With a small registry, people will get the hint!
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You could do a small registry and return everything for gift cards?  Or register only for things you want to bring with you.

    My friends registered on Amazon.com and registered for one of those Flip video cameras, some board games, etc.  I bought them the Flip video camera.  Those are the kinds of things you'd want to bring with you!  And you probably have a family or friend that would be willing to keep some boxes in their attic for you until you guys come back from Japan.

    image

    Anniversary

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  • Megan0416Megan0416
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did a small registry. I was advised to atleast make something because if I didn't people would just give us whatever they wanted and not what we could truely get use out of and enjoy. So maybe make a small one to give people some option. Not everyone wants to give you cash. I think the Bridal Shower is mostly where the gifts come into play not the wedding itself.
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