Wedding Party

Including my brother?

I have picked my 5 bridesmaids, which include my 2 sisters, bestfriend of 14 years, and my 2 closest cousins. I have also asked my fiance's sisters daughter to be my junior bridesmaid.

My fiance has 4 groomsmen, and his sister's son as a jr. groomsman. However, we're still uneven. His brother is a groomsman, and his sisters 2 kids are involved...my only brother is not.

Is it wrong for me to ask my fiance to include my only brother, when I have included his only sister, but asking her daughter? I feel that my brother isn't included in the day-and him and my fiance get along. Not best friends, but we live in seperate states so it's not like we hangout with him often-but it is my only brother. (he is the same age as my fiance)

IF it is okay to bring up the fact my brother is not included...how do I do so and ask my fiance?

 IF it is not a good idea to bring it up, as it's "not my portion" of the wedding party, where and how can I include my brother in our special day???

Re: Including my brother?

  • Girlie1030Girlie1030 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2012
    Your brother can stand on your side.  Uneven sides don't matter and are becoming more common. 
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_including-my-brother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d534abe-c3d1-4d05-8045-dd0ff657c4d8Post:4be20171-07f1-4e8e-a1cf-ba23403b85ca">Including my brother?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have picked my 5 bridesmaids, which include my 2 sisters, bestfriend of 14 years, and my 2 closest cousins. I have also asked my fiance's sisters daughter to be my junior bridesmaid. My fiance has 4 groomsmen, and his sister's son as a jr. groomsman. However, we're still uneven. His brother is a groomsman, and his sisters 2 kids are involved...my only brother is not. <strong>Is it wrong for me to ask my fiance to include my only brother,</strong> when I have included his only sister, but asking her daughter? I feel that my brother isn't included in the day-and him and my fiance get along. Not best friends, but we live in seperate states so it's not like we hangout with him often-but it is my only brother. (he is the same age as my fiance) IF it is okay to bring up the fact my brother is not included...how do I do so and ask my fiance?  IF it is not a good idea to bring it up, as it's "not my portion" of the wedding party, where and how can I include my brother in our special day???
    Posted by FLBucki3[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it is wrong.  You do not have to have even sides and if you want to include your brother you can certainly ask him to stand on your side.

    You get to pick your side and your fiance gets to pick his.  If he doesn't want to include your brother then he has every right not too...do not pressure him or force him, that is beyond rude.

    Oh, and uneven sides is fine.

  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    Uneven sides are fine. If you want your brother in the WP, ask him to stand up on your side or ask him to be an usher. He can dress exactly like the GMs or he can wear a different color vest. 

    This is what happened in my case- FI did not ask my brother to be a GM because my brother is 11 and they are not close. I, like you, wanted my brother in the wedding, so I asked him to be an usher. The GMs are wearing dark grey suits with yellow ties, but my brother is wearing a black suit with a silver tie. NBD.
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
  • edited April 2012
    have your brother on your side.  You don't get any say in who your FI picks.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • It really should be your F's decision to include your brother on his side. I don't think you should say anything to him because he should also be the first to mention it. He may feel pressured to ask him if you bring it up. 

    I am having my brother stand on my side. I have not given him a title, and he will not stand in line with the bridesmaids. I'm pretty sure I will have him stand behind the matron of honor (where you can still see him from the back of the church). Then when it's time he will give me my F's ring. My matron of honor will have her hands full with my bouquet and keeping my dress straight. :-) He's also Army so he will wear his dress uniform.
    Anniversary
  • I don't think it's a problem to ask your fiance if he would consider asking your brother to be a groomsman. I did the same thing, but my husband and my brother get along well so it was never an issue to begin with.

    However, if your fiance would rather not include him, then just say, "O.K. I will ask him to be my own attendant, then." Done and done. I think it'd be wrong to push him into it if he clearly doesn't want to ask him. I don't think there's any harm or wrongdoing in simply asking him, "I'd like my brother to be included. Would you want him as a groomsman, or on my side?" If they obviously hated each others' guts then I think it'd be wrong to ask your fiance to include him.

    Or you can just skip the middle man and ask your brother to be your attendant in the first place. You can call him a Bridesman, Bride's Attendant or Honor Attendant. Or just put "Wedding Party" in the program and list everyone in two columns underneath, and your guests will figure out who goes where according to who's standing next to you at the altar (and that's if they even take the time to notice, which they won't).
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  • I don't see the problem in asking him at all. We each have 6 on each side...His sister is my MOH (one of my closet friends, we met through her) and I brought up the idea of him asking my brother to be one of his groomsmen. He loved the idea and everyone is included. My brother was also thrilled that he asked!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    RSVP Date: August 5, 2012
  • I don't think it would be a faux pas to ask your finace to consider asking your brother to stand on his side. If you can see that he isn't keen on the idea or if you still don't feel comfortable about asking him, you can have your brother be involved some other way. Some people have suggested an usher. You could have him man the guest book. I'm having my brother do a special reading in the ceremony.
  • It sounds like your scared to ask your fiance- I don't think its even a big deal to ask him and he probably won't mind anyway (unless they're great enemies or something lol) - I know some fiances are more involved but mine just does what I tell him and that's how he likes it lol
  • In Response to Including my brother?:

    No it is not wrong to ask your fiance to if your brother could stand up for him. Asking can't hurt!
  • Since you are marrying this man you should be able to talk to him about anything. Ask, and if he's not into it, then have him on your side. I have one brother an I asked my Fiancé to have him on the grooms side and we are going to...as his sister is on my side :) The grooms side is definitely uneven, but it doesn't matter...we're getting married anyway and enjoying our day. You should too!
  • My youngest brother is my "maid of honor"--and my middle brother will give one of the two toasts.  Brothers are important and the traditional groomsmen and bridesmaid structure is stupid and gender-exclusive.  Do whatever makes you happy!
    knottiedb0647ec2a65909a
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