Real Dad/Step dad question

mek20 · October 2011

Those of you with a step-dad, what did you do for walking-down-the-aisle?

Backstory: my RD (real dad) has always been a part of my life, we are not super close, but we have contact, say i love you, he is helping to pay for wedding. Currently lives in florida, see once every 2 years.

SD (stepdad) has been around since I was 3, lived with him for 12+ years, raised me, wouldnt have my life now if it wasnt for him, helping to pay for wedding.

I want both of them to walk me down, but RD kind made a stink about it. I saw on Four weddings, or some wedding show that the RD walked halfway, then "picked up" SD half way as symbolically RD was there in beiggning, SD came in later.

I just dont know how awkward this would look. What did you all do? Any ideas are appreciated...

and Why the heck are my posts always so LONG jeesh...sorry!

lornarose07 · October 2011

First of all, no one (or hardly anyone, I bet) will think it looks awkward. I think this is a totally normal thing that many brides do and no one will question it. If this is something you're comfortable with, that will be acceptable for RD and SD, then it's totally ok and very sweet that you want to honor both men in such a special way.

I imagine RD would make a little fuss about it, but just talk to him honestly and open. "Dad, I know how special of a tradition it is to give the bride away as the father, but SD has been such a huge part of my life, too and it's really important to me that BOTH of you have the honor of giving me away." Maybe you can appease RD by giving him the only father-daughter dance? Then you can share a dance with SD at another time during the night that won't be spotlighted and have attention called to it and what-not.

HTH! (And don't worry, my posts are insanely long as always. I just.... have too much to say about everything lmao)

kks4471 · October 2011

I really like the idea of walking with your RD to the middle of the aisle, then changing to SD. I think that's a fair way to have both fathers involved with your walk, and I don't think it would be awkward at all. I like Lorna's idea of your father / daughter dance with RD, and hopefully SD would be ok with that.

sbolger17 · October 2011

This is kind of random, but one of my friends in a similar situation had her SD walk her down the aisle with the understanding that her younger sister would have RD walk her down one day. (Obviously, this requires a sister and a bit of understanding on everyone's part.)

JN382 · October 2011

I'm not quite sure what you do in this situation, but I think the first idea of RD walking the first half, and SD the other half. Actually, I think it's quite unique and wouldn't look awkward at all. Clearly they are both important to you, and whatever way you feel most comfortable with is what you should do. Good luck!

ChelseaB425 · October 2011

I don't think that would be awkward at all. In fact, I think it would be quite moving.

MelissaC315 · October 2011

If I were a guest at your wedding I would find it really moving and unique. I think it's a great way to honor both of them and shows that they are both a part of your life. Hopefully your RD can be understanding about this too.

MCTD31 · October 2011

My sister has the same exact type of relationship with her RD and SD (my father). RD lives in NC, she sees him every year or two, SD raised her since she was young and paid for her wedding. They both walked her down the aisle, but I do like the symbolism in having your SD step in halfway down the aisle. Either way, you are honoring both of them and that is what matters. Your RD has to know what kind of role your SD has played in your life and he should understand that having your SD involved is not meant in any way to disrespect him.

mek20 · October 2011

Ok, great! I thought it would be nice to honor both of them, but I didn't know if it would be logistically awkward or not. I'm sure RD will understand and I know he will appreciate that special couple moments where it is just him and I. SD has already spoken to me and said how honored he would be to walk me down, so I know he will be fine either way

Again, you ladies are absolutely wonderful and give the best advice. And you make wedding planning much easier because of it. Thanks:)

maggiebeth29 · October 2011

I love the idea!!! It is so sweet of you to make both of it! I think guests would adore the idea!

whereismymind32 · October 2011

I love that both of your "dads" want to walk you down the aisle. I was in my friend's wedding and she was in a similar situation where both her RD and SD walked her down the aisle. I think "picking-up" you SD is more symbolic and I like it!

One thing came to mind though- make sure you aisle is wide enough. If you're in a church it should be fine, but my friend had chairs set-up in a hotel ballroom and the aisle was barely wide enough for three people. They had to sort of walk down the aisle at an angle! It may have only been obvious to me since I was looking down the aisle from the alter, but a big poofy wedding gown and two grown men take up quite a bit of space.

Real Dad/Step dad question

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