I'm horrified.

LP11509 · July 2010

My wedding is in 2 weeks. Today, FI and I discovered that the last name of 5 guests were spelled wrong on both our STDs and invitations (all in the same family/same last name). Two of these people are actually attending the wedding. We found out about this misspelling from FB of all places.

I'm horrified. These people were on the guest list from FIL's. I'm upset because we asked them to check, double check and triple check all the info before they sent it to us to avoid this exact situation, and they said that they did. Obviously, they didn't. And my parents are the ones who look bad since they sent the invitations out. Grrrr.

What should we do? Contact them and apologize? Or just let it go? Obviously we will make sure that the last names are spelled correctly on the thank you notes, but I still feel awful

I also feel bad about an invite that was addressed to my friend and her boyfriend. Found out after invites got sent out that they has broken up. Whoops. They'd been together for 3 years and just broke up a couple of weeks before invites went out. She said that she wasn't offended or anything, but just wanted to let me know why he wouldn't be coming with her. Could have been worse, but it was still a little awkward.

Edited for spelling

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Do you personally know the people or would it be even weirder iif you just called them out of the blue? Because if you at least have their number and wouldn't mind calling, I kinda would. If not, then let it go.

And ew awkward about the BF. Not that you could have known, but yeah. Still bleh.

LP11509 · July 2010

Whit, I've never met any of these people before. They are FI's aunt/uncle and cousins. FI isn't close with them either (obviously, or he would have noticed the misspelling a long time ago).

Do you think it would be ok to ask FIL's to call them, since 1) they know the family better and 2) it was their mistake to begin with?

And yeah, I mostly felt bad about the friend/BF situation because it made me more aware of how wrapped up I've been in my own life recently, and thus behind on everyone else's. And that makes me feel like a crappy friend

Miss_Sophia · July 2010

Yikes! What a pickle but if it were me I would be hesitant on saying anything over the phone especially since you don't know them (I'm guessing?)....

Since it's all the same last name that was spelled incorrectly, is the name hard to pronouce or does it have a different spelling? Like Larsen instead of Larson? Or was it way off?

If it were me I would let it go for now and make sure that their names are spelled correctly on the Thank Yous.

As for your friend, how would you know? My Matron of Honor got married last fall, a good friend of ours broke up a week before the wedding with her bf of 2 years. Very sudden and no one knew until the day before. It can get awkward but I think senarios like that happen more then we knotties think.

mwhitson14 · July 2010

LP, I would at least talk to them about it. It would bug me a lot too. My IL's did the same thing too and it KILLED me. I was so irritated. So yeah, I'd say you're within your rights to ask them to call and say something. Some people can get really upset if you misspell their name.

LP11509 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c6b6228-9469-43fa-8886-3039c78eae39Post:67c1dc59-312c-482e-bf14-5d45b2114d46">Re: I'm horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]Since it's all the same last name that was spelled incorrectly, is the name hard to pronouce or does it have a different spelling? Like Larsen instead of Larson? Or was it way off? If it were me I would let it go for now and make sure that their names are spelled correctly on the Thank Yous. Posted by Miss_Sophia[/QUOTE]

They have a hyphened last name, but FIL's didn't hyphen it and also used an e instead of a y. So it looked like VanHalden on the STDs/invites, but should have been Van-Haldyn (totally made up name for an example),

LP11509 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c6b6228-9469-43fa-8886-3039c78eae39Post:866689be-a890-484a-b9a8-b8fe8fb61971">Re: I'm horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]LP, I would at least talk to them about it. It would bug me a lot too. My IL's did the same thing too and it KILLED me. I was so irritated. So yeah, I'd say you're within your rights to ask them to call and say something. Some people can get really upset if you misspell their name.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]

I just talked to FI and he's calling his parents now to ask them to contact the people about it. I just feel so bad still!

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Good!

btrflykate1230 · July 2010

I did this! I accidentally mailed an STD to a "Sally Prupinsky" (not real name) when it should have go to "Sally Puschinsky". I accidentally addressed it to the name of a student who is part of the program I'm in. I just wasn't thinking because their names are so similiar.

She called me out on it and I felt horrible. I apologized profusely! She understood that sometimes these things happened and it was totally fine. I would call and aplogize and make sure everything is right from here on in!

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

twinkie757 · August 2010

I wouldn't worry about it, but then again I'm really laid back about that kind of stuff. My own name is constantly spelled and pronounced incorrectly even though it's spelled phonetically correct. I think it would be even more weird to get a phone call apologizing about my name being spelled wrong than just simply fixing it when you do the thank yous.

LP11509 · August 2010

Update: FI talked to his parents. They were already aware of the mistake and already talked to the family a few weeks ago. Which is great...but it would have been nice if they had fixed it on the guest list (we have a google document that me, FI, my parents and his parents all have access to) so that we didn't make the same mistake on the thank you cards too. Grrr. At least we caught the mistake ourselves too.

cat1121 · August 2010

If it was you how would you want it handled?

Say something when you meet them, or if you want to be at ease, have your FIL call.

tenofcups4me · August 2010

I'm glad your FILs already talked to them, but yeah, it would have been nice if they had let you know! When you see them at the wedding, your FH can also apologize if he thinks of it (might not be top of his mind that day though for obvious reasons). While it's embarrassing, I don't think you need to be concerned about it -- it doesn't make your parents look bad because obviously they got the name from the FILs (it does make them look bad).

Re the friend -- you couldn't have known and didn't do anything wrong. Don't think twice about that one.

Miss_Sophia · August 2010

I'm glad that things have worked out for you. It was good of your FIs parents to make the move and contact them but it would have been nice to let you know so you didn't worry about it.

katiewhompus · August 2010

Whew, that sucks but I'm glad it worked itself out so well.

I sent out my invites in mid February for my May wedding. My bil's father passed away while the invites were in the mail, so the day after he died bil's mother received the invite for her and her husband. That sucked

(Yes, we invited my husband's brother-in-law's parents to the wedding, yes I thought it was weird too)

Birdie1483 · August 2010

My last name has been misspelled my entire life. It's even in the bible and people STILL can't get it right, even when I'm spelling it to them. It's like their hand takes over their body and wants to write the wrong thing. The only time I get ticked is when people who should know better (like very close friends who've known me forever) misspell my name or when coworkers mispell my email address to clients/vendors.

Chances are, if it's a difficult last name, this family is used to it. And like PP said, it looks bad on your FILs, not you or your parents.

Re. the friend situation, if it were me, I would just appologize for being so consumed with my life (what you said, not what I think) and offer to take her out to lunch or drinks or something. Let her spill her guts if she needs to about the breakup and things should be fine.

brookelynpaisley · August 2010

Call me crazy, but I don't think it's that big a deal. It's not your fault your ILs didn't double check. My maiden name was hard to pronounce and spell, so if I got upset about every time it was misspelled, I would have been a ball of anger all the GD time. It sounds like your ILs already apologized, so let it go. People never called me up out of the blue to apologize for spelling my maiden name wrong - I think it would have been weird.

pooh8402 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c6b6228-9469-43fa-8886-3039c78eae39Post:4a36c726-07aa-41d1-b138-17de1f381b4a">I'm horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is in 2 weeks. Today, FI and I discovered that the last name of 5 guests were spelled wrong on both our STDs and invitations (all in the same family/same last name). Two of these people are actually attending the wedding. We found out about this misspelling from FB of all places. I'm horrified. These people were on the guest list from FIL's. I'm upset because we asked them to check, double check and triple check all the info before they sent it to us to avoid this exact situation, and they said that they did. Obviously, they didn't. And my parents are the ones who look bad since they sent the invitations out. Grrrr. What should we do? Contact them and apologize? Or just let it go? Obviously we will make sure that the last names are spelled correctly on the thank you notes, but I still feel awful :( I also feel bad about an invite that was addressed to my friend and her boyfriend. Found out after invites got sent out that they has broken up. Whoops. They'd been together for 3 years and just broke up a couple of weeks before invites went out. She said that she wasn't offended or anything, but just wanted to let me know why he wouldn't be coming with her. Could have been worse, but it was still a little awkward. Edited for spelling
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

for the first issue, shiit happens and I'm sure they understand. it's not your fault or your parents' fault.

for the BF issue, not a big deal. one couple that we invited were together for 2 years, the dude was about to propose, and they broke up literally 2 days after I sent invites--it hadn't even reached them by mail yet. if you didn't know and they didn't tell you then they can't be upset. don't worry about it.

ARod22 · August 2010

There's nothing you can really do without making it more awkward. I would just let it go and spell their names correctly on thank you's, escort cards, etc.

marisah83 · August 2010

Something similar happened to us. My FMIL gave me a last name that was waaaay off of how the name was really spelled. They are family friends I have never met, so I had no idea. I realized the error when they sent back the RSVP card with a last name I didn't recognize. I called my FMIL, and she figured out the error. I felt soooo bad, but she called and apologized for her error. It ended up not being a big deal.

I'm glad you worked it all out!

I'm horrified.

Re: I'm horrified.

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