Kids at the wedding as guests

Re: Kids at the wedding as guests

• IamMrs.C

  

  March 2012

  That is ridiculous. You have many children in your lives. You would probably really feel their absence if they were not there. I did not have kids at my wedding but had none of my own and none I was close to at the time. Now I would not dream of excluding them.

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• handfast4me member

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  Totally you and your fi's choice. 
  
  However, for myself, I think of weddings as a very solemn occasion, and I don't think that most children understand the ritual.  (Especially evening ceremonies, such as is the custom in my faith, outside, yeah.  No kids.  Nevermind the skyclad thing; totally inappropriate for children.)  I've sat through a couple of Christian ceremonies where infants were screaming.  And then a couple of receptions that DID have children running around, bumping into people, etc. 
  
  I also understand the wish to have everyone, including children, important to you, at the ceremony and the reception.  It is up to you, then, to provide entertainment for them, so they don't bother the other guests.  And that's probably what your sister was getting at; she didn't want to be bothered by OTHER people's children.  I have a daughter and a granddaughter of my own, so I understand both sides. 

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• right1thistime member

  

  March 2012

  Meh.  She probably didn't have kids at her wedding and thinks that nobody should have them.  This sounds like a smile & nod kind of thing to me.  Have the wedding you want, there's always people who will have something to say about your choices.  Don't sweat this one. ~Donna

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• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  I agree with Donna ... it's a "smile & nod kind of thing ..." in many ways. This is a very personal topic, truly no right or wrong ... only what the bride and groom prefer.  We did not want kids at our wedding.  In this instance, kids = ppl under 13. 
  
  So, of course, one of the first replies came from DH's sister, who responds "yes" for her husband, 2 adult sons, 1 daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren (both still in diapers).  In the interest of family harmony, of course we responded, "Great!  What should we order for the kids to eat? Do you need two high chairs?"  Smiled.  Nodded.
  
  I was in no mood to argue with my FSIL (she can be a pill) and, I figured, if her married son could not figure out how to properly respond to an invitation addressed only to "Mr & Mrs X" plus needed his mommy to reply for him and his family ... they had bigger issues than a lack of manners with which to deal.
  
  No one else we invited breeched etiquette. We only had those 2 kids. Of course, that entire family left soon after our first dance -- it was past the babies' bedtime.

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• SoonToBeMrsRhodes3 member

  

  March 2012

  I completely understand people not wanting children at their weddings and do not judge those who choose that. In our situation we are having our ceremony at 1pm and reception to follow because we have to have FI's daughter back to her mom by 7pm. Then we plan on going to a hotel for a couple days which is about 2 hours away and do not want to be arriving there very late into the evening. The ceremony itself will be outside and then moving into a banquet room for the reception. This will not be a super formal event, in fact the banquet room is attached to a bowling ally with an arcade so the older kids who's parents feel comfortable can go over to the arcade if they get bored (thinking of my 12-15 year old nephews and cousins). I guess I view a wedding and in particular our wedding as a family celebration not necessarily an adult affair, as we are not just getting married we are celebrating a formation of a new family.

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• MikesAngie member

  

  March 2012

  We invited complete families to our wedding and they decided not to bring their children which in turn drove the guest count down but it was the parents choice and as Lisa said we smiled and nodded. 

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• debbiem56

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  With 10 grandchildren between us, it would have been silly not to have kids there.  To us, it was a family event.  But that's us. It is your wedding, do what you want.

  

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  March 2012

  Most of the advice on this board is "Have the wedding you want". That entails inviting who you want. It's a personal decision on inviting children when it's your wedding, and other's have their opinions about everyone else's wedding.
  
  My opinion: my husband's nephew's 3 y/o son was our ring bearer. The kid was out on the dance floor dancing out his little heart like no one else. He was a delight, and we loved having him there. He was a big hit, and I can't imaging not having him there. Had there been more children, we would have felt the same way. Our kids are grown, and my husband's grandkids could not attend because their mother was a week away from giving birth and couldn't bring them. This was a great sadness to us.
  
  Children do not "ruin a wedding" any more than they "ruin your life". Just my opinion.
  

  Wedding Website and Bio

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• vlwayne

  

  March 2012

  Have them, just make sure there is something for them to do at the reception.

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• mishy527

  

  March 2012

  At my first wedding, I did request no children only because the reception started at night on a saturday and ended very late and was not really the child safe or proof kind of place.  But then again, I had no children at the time and did not understand how parents felt either.  But now the second time around, I am inviting kids, parents and babies.  It is how you feel and what you want.  Do not worry about what others think, it is your day and you are the ones who are going to remember it for the rest of your lives, if having kids there is what you choose then go for it.  Good luck.

  I married my best friend, my heart and soul!

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