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Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Does anyone else feel like...

...their wedding is bigger than they wanted it to be?

All my life, I've dreamed of a simple, small, backyard wedding, with a brunch-picnic style reception. But since that idea wouldn't work with our circumstances, it's a modern-church (needs lots of decorating), urban reception... so I got a bigger dress than I wanted... 

It's not I don't love what I'm choosing, I love my dress, I love my reception place... it's just more than I expected. A lot more. Am I the only one that feels this way??? Is this normal?
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Re: Does anyone else feel like...

  • Bean32Bean32 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You are definitely not alone. I tried to convince FI to elope and then tried to convince him to just do a backyard bbq type thing. Neither of those worked out. Now we're having the ballroom wedding that he and my parents wanted.

    We also ended up inviting about twice as many people as I originally wanted. Thankfully, we're on a holiday weekend, so we've gotten our fair share of no responses. I think I'm the only bride who gets excited about negative RSVPs.
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  • edited December 2011
    We're only having 150 people at the reception (the ceremony is open... pretty much to the public, really... I'm having it announced at the church and really don't care who's there), but even at that, I just feel it's all a little...much. So now I'm trying to think how I can make it simpler without totally backing out of things... like... making my own programs (still looking into it), making the tissue poms, doing my own flowers (oh yeah)... making it MY wedding, even when I don't feel like it really is the wedding I always wanted.

    I really just want to marry my FI. He's so beyond amazing... I keep having this notion about eloping over the 4th of July... and really, the only thing from me bringing it up on a daily basis is that we already have the honeymoon booked, he can't change his vacation time from work, and our dresses won't be in yet (and we can't get a return or store credit...). Otherwise... I'd have a 4th of July anniversary (which has always been a romantic notion for me... fireworks every year on your anniversary...).

    But seeing that you only have a little more than three weeks left, I don't feel so bad about mine being close and having these feelings. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I COMPLETELY agree. I'm from a small town where weddings typically aren't these huge, elaborate events. My FI is from a large Italian Philly suburban family that invites their next door neighbor from 18 years ago because they invited them to their kid's wedding, yaddi yadda. You get the picture.

    My "dream" wedding would be an outdoor garden ceremony with a tented, natural backyard feel. 100 people MAX. Simple, fun. Instead - I'm having a Catholic ceremony, transportation to my venue, band. We're expecting 175 guests to show (I'm hoping less). From food, to decor, and dresses - I've felt like my ideas weren't quite "fancy" enough. But luckily, the details is where I was able to bring my personality in. Instead of a raw bar/seafood cocktail hour (which my in-laws are still trying for), I'm having pork sliders and fun tapas. I'm doing braised short ribs instead of steak. Lanterns, wildflowers and mason jars instead of huge, elegant centerpieces. Trying to bring that backyard garden feel to my venue.

    My main thing was that even thought it's bigger and more traditional - I don't want "us" to get lost in the mix. I want it to be unique and very personal. Don't get me wrong, I love love everything. It's just more people, more $$, more vendors, more everything than I originally envisioned for myself...which can be overwhelming. I'm sure either way - you will have the time of your life. Because, like you mentioned, the important thing is what the celebration stands for.
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  • edited December 2011
    I wanted a 'big' wedding with all my family and friends like 150 people. but we both have big familes and lots of friends so we ended up with 267. I am happy eveyrone will be celebrating with us, but I am scared I wont get to enjoy it as much having to 'greet' so many people!!
  • edited December 2011
    Mine's a little different. I'm happy with the size, but to be honest, the wedding isn't all 'us'. We're more the hang-out-with-friends-bonfire-horseshoes-bbq type people... and honestly, I want nothing more than a huge ass bonfire after our reception. That would make me ridiculously happy.
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  • TeepTeep member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I had never even thought about my wedding. It just wasn't something I was really into. My FI on the other hand used to work at a country club, and has probably seen about 200+ weddings. So needless to say we're having it at the country club he worked at. He's a police officer now, and wants to invite his entire platoon. Oh yay! My guest number is about double what I had thought it was going to be.
  • edited December 2011
    I was literally JUST coming on here to see if I was the only one that feels this way. Our wedding is about 3 months away and I am beyond OVER IT!! We originally wanted a small, intimate wedding (maybe 20 people) and somehow our guest list has turned into 140. It has become a lot of -- if we invite this person, we should invite that person sort of thing... Only about 1/3 of which are people from my family/family friends. It has become the exact opposite of the wedding I had imagined and I just want it to be over quite honestly.

    If we hadn't already shelled out SOO much money in deposits, attire, etc etc etc, I'd call it off and elope. It feels like we're doing this for our parents and other people, and that just isn't what I wanted it to be about.

    Don't get me wrong, it is not that I don't want to marry FH... I just don't want this wedding anymore!!

    I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way, though.
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