including kids in our wedding ceromony

Re: including kids in our wedding ceromony

• Summer2011Bride member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I agree with Stage about the unity candle song, and as far as incorporating your children, that's all I would really do. They will be so young that they won't truly grasp what is taking place, and especially with one boy being only 3 months old, there isn't much to do to incorporate them. Besides, the vows are between you and FI anyway. I think having them up there while you & FI light the candle would be fine.

  
  
  
  
  

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• Avion22 member

  

  July 2012

  I think 3-month old babies and fire don't really go well together.   There's not much that a 3-month old can do at a wedding other than be held and look adorable for pictures (which I'm sure he will).   The two-year old might be albe to do a LITTLE bit more, but honestly at that age there's no guarantee that he's going to want to cooperate either.    I'd keep their involvement minimal, and contingent on how you feel about it on the day, because with two-year-olds, sometimes things just don't happen...

  

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• HobokensFury member

  

  July 2012

  I'm sorry but a 2 year old and a 3 month old can not light candles. FWIW you are already a family getting married is not going to change that.

   
   

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• Madda7

  

  July 2012

  I have a son from a previous marriage who abaonded me when we found out I was pregnant. Well long story short almost 2 years ago I met my FI who has been the only dad like figure besides my dad he has ever known. So we are having him be our ring bear and we get exchange rings, we are getting him a little token like a bracelet, or something to give to him together as a symbol of our family coming together.

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• Madda7

  

  July 2012

  my point was maybe you could do something like that instead of the unity candle thing. and also at the reception instead of a first dance you could do a family dance, or do both

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• kaos16 member

  

  July 2012

  The vows at a wedding are between the bride and groom, or groom and groom, or bride and bride.  They are between two consenting adults in other words.  Children do not need to be part of the vows, and no ring or other symbol needs to be given to them because nobody is getting married to this minor child.
  
  With that being said, having old enough children walk down the aisle, participate in a unity candle, or sand ceremony, seems fine.  The family dance idea is also cute.
  
  With the younger children. . . they won't remember any of the wedding anyway, so maybe you can just include them in the pictures or video for them to see when they get older.

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• DeVollF member

  

  July 2012

  I love the idea of including the children in a family ceremony. I'm a wedding officiant who also provides live dove releases for weddings and am often called upon to provide something unique to involve the children. A live dove release featuring four doves would be perfect but since you have already chosen the candle ceremony, why not have four candles of declining sizes: perhaps a black one (maybe even with a white bow tie for the groom or one in the darker of your wedding colors, white or the lighter color for the bride and two smaller candles for the children in coordination colors or something totally representaional for them - blue for a boy/ pink for a girl or different shades of the bridal colors. Have a special family member -god parent etc. bring the children to the alter or ceremony area and light their candles from the taper, bride and groom kiss or hug the child a second and then the children return to their seats and then let the bride and groom light the unity candle with their candles. (Remeber small children have a terrible time being patient so make sure they have a good nap and something to eat as well as a potty break before the ceremony and keep thier required participation to an absolute minimum. Long picture taking sessions could spoil the whole event for you and everyone if they get overly tired or disgruntled. The "memories" will be captured in the photos for the children to enjoy when they are older and can understand more and the candles can all be saved for a reenactment during a reaffirmation of vows say in five or ten years even adding any additional children who may by then have been added to the family.  Dr. R. deVoll Fisher

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• HobokensFury member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_including-kids-in-our-wedding-ceromony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:21aa2397-c02d-4f59-8ac1-58cd80d57ed2Post:600fcbdd-6aa1-4108-820f-9e11c9c39935">Re: including kids in our wedding ceromony</a>:
  [QUOTE]I love the idea of including the children in a family ceremony. I'm a wedding officiant who also provides live dove releases for weddings and am often called upon to provide something unique to involve the children. A live dove release featuring four doves would be perfect but since you have already chosen the candle ceremony, why not have four candles of declining sizes: perhaps a black one (maybe even with a white bow tie for the groom or one in the darker of your wedding colors, white or the lighter color for the bride and two smaller candles for the children in coordination colors or something totally representaional for them - blue for a boy/ pink for a girl or different shades of the bridal colors. Have a special family member -god parent etc. bring the children to the alter or ceremony area and light their candles from the taper, bride and groom kiss or hug the child a second and then the children return to their seats and then let the bride and groom light the unity candle with their candles. (Remeber small children have a terrible time being patient so make sure they have a good nap and something to eat as well as a potty break before the ceremony and keep thier required participation to an absolute minimum. Long picture taking sessions could spoil the whole event for you and everyone if they get overly tired or disgruntled. The "memories" will be captured in the photos for the children to enjoy when they are older and can understand more and the candles can all be saved for a reenactment during a reaffirmation of vows say in five or ten years even adding any additional children who may by then have been added to the family.  Dr. R. deVoll Fisher
  Posted by DeVollF[/QUOTE]
  
  We don't endorse animal cruelty around here.

   
   

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