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May 2012 Weddings

Got my first "cant I bring someone" question last night...

I got a call last night from a college friend who I invited to the wedding. She lives in North Carolina (the wedding is in Maine) and she's been planning to come back to MA to visit family and friends and also come up to Maine for the wedding.  

She asked if she was invited with a guest since she wasn't sure how she'd be able to get to Maine for the wedding. I knew that she wouldn't have her own car since she was flying into Boston, but I really thought that maybe she'd borrow a friends car or make some other travel arrangements. I told her that right now we are at our limit and I couldn't say "yes" to another guest at the moment, but if we got a lot of "no's" that I could maybe add a guest for her.

Since the & guest thing was still unknown, she asked me to find out the price of a train that goes from boston-maine so I did. I also gave her the info for a cheaper hotel than the one we are staying at since she didn't want to have to spend a lot of $. I also assured her that there were plenty of cabs in the area that could take her from the train to the hotel/hotel to wedding/ wedding to hotel.

I'm really feeling weird about this, its almost like she wanted me to say "oh I'll pick you up in Boston on the morning of my wedding...no prob!"

I also thought of asking a family member/friend to pick her up at the train station, but I feel weird about doing that too!

Do I just let her make her travel arrangements, stay out of it from now on, and hope she makes it to the wedding?
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Re: Got my first "cant I bring someone" question last night...

  • That's weird. I would NEVER ask a bride or groom to figure out my travel arrangements. Maybe ask them what they'd recommend but why couldn't she Google the train her dang self? I would let her figure the rest out herself.
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  • She should figure out her own travel arrangements. This is not your job.  If it were me, I'd just rent a car. But you gave her info on the train and also a hotel. Let her figure the rest out.
  • thank you ladies! I will let her figure out the details since I've done pretty much all I can besides book the train/hotel for her myself! 
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  • That is very odd - she needs to make her own arrangments...including look up train fare,etc. I also wouldn't ask a family memeber to pick her up. She's a big girl so I'm sre she can get a cab or rent a car or something. lol
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  • wow, how weird!  she can search expedia just as easily as you can, and she probably has a lot more time since you're planning a freaking wedding!  haha

    people are weird...
  • yes. COMPLETELY stay out of it. She'll make it. I wouldnt even ASK her about it because it will probably lead to some awkward conversation about her needing help with something else thats not you job! lol. keep the stress out of it. She'll be fine.
  • Ditto PPs. I would let her worry about her own transportation & hotel room!
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  • Could you imagine having to figure out everyone's transportation??? Geez, You have other things that are way more important. You've already gone above and beyond
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  • I couldn't believe she asked me 1. if she could bring someone because she would need a ride and 2. asked me to find out transportation etc for her.

    She was also asking what she would do if there were no cabs available after the wedding and I told her that the weddings over at 9:30, and I'm sure cabs are still going at that time of night.

    You're all right, I did what I could and the rest is for her to figure out. I definitely don't need to arrange her travel plans and add to my stress.

    As soon as she asked me if she could bring someone, I thought to myself, oh the girls on TK were right, people really are THAT rude!

    Another  thought/worry I had was that if she rsvp's yes and then can't find the train station, can't afford the train/cab fair, or can't get a cab from the train and she calls me on the day of the wedding for "help" I really am just going to have to say no, since i'm sure as heck not going to go pick her up or even ask someone to do that for me!

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  • Holy crap, I cannot believe she had the nerve to ask you to bring a guest but to also help her with travel arrangements! She could have easily searched for the travel information exactly like you did!

    I would not let her know that if you get no's that she can bring a guest.

    Stick to your guns!

    Depending on how close you feel to this girl you could ask in a few weeks if she was able to make travel arrangements... 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_got-my-first-cant-i-bring-someone-question-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:c97d2684-bcaf-4f84-9b06-7c697aaace8ePost:2f6c986f-fe26-486b-9009-116205fd3415">Re: Got my first "cant I bring someone" question last night...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy crap, I cannot believe she had the nerve to ask you to bring a guest but to also help her with travel arrangements! She could have easily searched for the travel information exactly like you did! I would not let her know that if you get no's that she can bring a guest. Stick to your guns! <strong>Depending on how close you feel to this girl you could ask in a few weeks if she was able to make travel arrangements... 
    </strong>Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

    I'm probably going to have to do this. I know when she sends back the rsvp it's going to say that she's coming, but I need to know that she actually has the plans made and that she really will show up. As crappy as that sounds, she's the type to talk about making plans, and not actually following through with the plans. So for all I know she'd say yes, then run out of $ before the wedding day (she'll be in MA for 5 days before the wedding) to pay for the train/cab fare.

    She's flaked on me before when she visited a few years ago, we made plans to have lunch together and she called me the morning that we were going to have lunch and she said that she ran out of $ and couldn't go out....I ended up bringing over food and grilling outside so that I could at least see her while she was in town.
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  • I agree with everyone! Wow! Rude!
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  • So crazy! If she was planning to attend the wedding before now then you would think she would have already thought about this. I mean she knew she would be in town during that time and would need a ride so isn't this stuff she should have thought about say a month or 2 ago. It's not an all of a sudden decision to make.

    I agree with everyone else. Let her make all her arrangements and figure things out. And no guests! Stick to that!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_got-my-first-cant-i-bring-someone-question-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:c97d2684-bcaf-4f84-9b06-7c697aaace8ePost:dda61595-b0f1-47a9-a68e-41928ed18c6c">Re: Got my first "cant I bring someone" question last night...</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's weird. I would NEVER ask a bride or groom to figure out my travel arrangements. Maybe ask them what they'd recommend but why couldn't she Google the train her dang self? I would let her figure the rest out herself.
    Posted by bpphoto785[/QUOTE]


    This word for word!
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  • Rude.  I agree with PPs, let her make her own travel arrangements.

    This is how children with helicopter parents grow up....completely helpless.
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