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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Timeframe for mailing invitations - need asap!

We have about 12 - 15 invitations that we had a difficult time confirming addresses, therefore, they didn't go out with the bulk of the invitations.  Wedding is 3/24; response card deadline is 2/24.  These invitations won't get mailed until today/tomorrow (2/23 and 2/24). 

Question: Do we include response card which clearly indicates that we've missed "our" deadline or do we just mail the invitations without the response card and hope they contact us via phone/family member confirming their attendance?

I hate that these were overlooked and I want them to have an invitation but by including the response card they may know they were overlooked.  BUT, by not including the response card it messes with the numbers that I have to supply to the caterer (I'm the mother of the bride). 

Appreciate a response from anyone with etiquette knowledge on such matters!

Thanks!

Re: Timeframe for mailing invitations - need asap!

  • I'd put the response card in, or even make a few new ones with a date of them being due at the end of next week so they know how pressing it is that they send it back.  If they don't have the response card, they're not going to know how to respond. 
  • Could you make new RSVP cards (you could probably do things online with fedex/kinkos with less than 24 hour turnaround) with a new RSVP date for these?  Also, it'd be helpful to contact those 12-15 households to let them know that the invitations are on their way and apologize for their late arrival.
  • I think it's okay to call these people and tell them that their invitation is on the way, you were just waiting to confirm their address.  Then line through the original date on the response card and write in a new date -- or give them the option of calling or emailing you.

    We're getting married 4/7 and our RSVP date is 3/10.  We sent out some invitations that got returned for incorrect addresses, so we had to track down the correct one and send out new invitatios.  We just called these people to let them know about the mix up.
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  • I'd create new RSVP cards with a later RSVP date on it. I don't think I would send the RSVP cards with a date that has already passed.


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  • I'm guessing you don't have these people's phone numbers because you had such trouble getting their addresses, right? If so, I'd get new RSVP cards made up if at all possible. If you send them out with the date already past they're definitely going to think they were B-listed.
    Lizzie
  • I'm with PPs, if you can get a new rsvp card that would be best. If you had a hard time getting a hold of them for their address, I would start the follow up quickly so you don't have to scramble last minute.
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  • Definitely get a new RSVP card if you can.  If you can't, either call to let them know what happened so they'll know they weren't B-listed (if you have their phone numbers) or maybe include an additional note in the invitation apologizing for the lateness.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timeframe-for-mailing-invitations-need-asap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6d2994fe-e922-46c8-ac0c-9f6a12d06f76Post:4d35544e-f8e6-4921-9bc9-1e0c39ff90ce">Re: Timeframe for mailing invitations - need asap!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd create new RSVP cards with a later RSVP date on it. I don't think I would send the RSVP cards with a date that has already passed.
    Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

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  • I'd definitely drop in a note explaining why their invitations are so late so they don't think that they are B-listed.  Especially since I assume you don't have their phone numbers (because why would it have been so difficult to confirm addresses if you had the phone number).  If you can get new response cards made that would be ideal, otherwise indicate in the note when you need their RSVPs by
  • Cough*B-list*cough

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  • New RSVP card or not you need to include a note or make a phone call to explain why they're so late.  Even if you make the RSVP date 3/10, receiving an invitation 3-4 weeks before the wedding is going to make them feel b-listed.
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